In the Space of a Lifetime
by Sonya
Summary: AU. UC. Destiny Lost, Part 4. Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold... Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world... [Cowritten w Erin]
1. Chapter 1

Title: In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Series: Destiny Lost, part 4   
  
Authors: Sonya and Erin   
  
E-mail: sonyajeb@swbell.net OR carynsilver@yahoo.com  
  
Rating: PG   
  
Category: B/X, O/Other, C/D, A/F, AU, action adventure, romance   
  
Chronology: This takes place about a month after "The Princess and the Professor," the final installment of "Destiny Found," the relationship-oriented series of one-shots that followed "In the Space of a Journey." We recommend that you read the whole series ("In the Space of a Heartbeat," "In the Space of Desire," "In the Space of a Journey" and "Destiny Found") before reading "In the Space of a Lifetime," or you'll be way confused.   
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. (But since they don't seem to want Doyle any more ::sob:: can we have him?) All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up, such as Sonya Parker and Aidan O'Shea.   
  
Distribution: Regulars... SURE!!! Newbies... ask and you shall receive!   
  
Feedback: It's vital! We need to know you're out there! (But no flames please.)   
  
Spoilers: nothing major   
  
Author's Note: This is it. The beginning of the final story in the "Destiny Lost" series. Are you excited? If you are, tell us in feedback! :)   
  
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In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 1:   
  
Parts Unknown   
  
Factory walls flickered in the distance. Shadows moved like liquid in the candle-light. Their dance was almost hypnotic. Swaying shadows. She could smell burning wax and tiny wafts of smoke with her sensitive nose. It was like that for her. Always sensitive. Even when the Girl... the one who'd been there both times... had almost staked her.   
  
Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the Girl. Then there was Him. She couldn't call Him by his name. It hurt too much, somewhere inside where she hadn't hurt in a long time.   
  
Leather creaked as she turned away, ignoring both Him and his words. They weren't the right words. She didn't care. Couldn't. Wouldn't.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Sonya's Bedroom   
  
"I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I love you."   
  
Buffy smiled. Xander's voice always gave her a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach. She never regretted dating him, no matter what life threw their way, from vampires, to evil sorcerers, to months apart while he trained to be a Watcher at the Academy in England. "I love you, too."   
  
"Come on, Buffy!" Amy called.   
  
"Yeah, we're just waiting on you." Sonya's voice held a hint of ire. "I don't think we can keep Ms. Leather Pants here too much longer."   
  
Faith glared at Sonya. "I can't believe I'm spending my Friday night with you people."   
  
"Yes," Cordelia said airily. "You could be out sucking face with a vampire... that's an improvement."   
  
"I live here," Faith retorted. "What's your excuse? Your reputation points are already dropping."   
  
"I've gotta go, sweetie," Buffy quickly said into the phone. "Love you!" Xander's whispered good-bye made her smile as she replaced the receiver in its cradle. Her heart thrilled at the thought of being in his arms again tomorrow. Compared with how long she'd been waiting, a few hours was nothing. To the girls, she announced, "I'm ready."   
  
Faith was glaring at Cordelia, and Cordelia sniffed haughtily at Faith as Buffy slid into her place in the circle. They'd cleared room on Sonya's bedroom floor for a mystical diagram made out of powder Amy had assured Sonya would vacuum right up. Buffy had her doubts as she saw what the red powder was doing to the grey carpet, but she didn't say anything. It had taken Amy long enough to find five women to be a part of her circle, stained carpet wouldn't help the bickering-level in the room right now.   
  
"So, are we gonna do this thing, or what?" Buffy asked.   
  
Sonya slugged Buffy on the shoulder. "You're the one we've been waiting on."   
  
"Well, I'm ready," Buffy replied.   
  
"How's lover boy?" Faith asked.   
  
Buffy didn't take offense at Faith's sharp tone. Buffy had seen glimpses enough to realize there was a real person inside that coat of armor. "He's excited about coming home tomorrow. His graduation ceremony was today."   
  
"I can't believe he got done with his courses so quickly," Amy said as she adjusted a bowl into the exact middle of the circle. She must have used magic to do it because the water inside the bowl didn't move at all.   
  
"Neither could anyone else." Buffy's smile was proud, as it always was when referring to Xander. "He's pretty smart when he wants to be. Now all that's left is his apprenticeship, and Aidan was happy to oblige."   
  
"Did you update him about the Mayor?" Sonya asked. "Or the Mistress of the ferals?"   
  
Buffy shook her head. "Time enough for that when he gets here." Which was true. In Sunnydale there would always be time for trouble. And right now they suspected the Mayor of something, but they couldn't prove it. And then there was the vampire who'd made herself queen of a pack of feral, animalistic vampires almost a year ago. They still couldn't find her lair, but Angel was working on it. But, other than the things they couldn't do anything about right now, life had been pretty quiet on the Hellmouth for a while. Quiet enough that, with Angel and Rio out on patrol, Sonya, Buffy and Faith had been able to stay in and be a part of Amy's experiment.   
  
"Hey!" Cordelia said suddenly, interrupting Buffy's thoughts. "I was told we were going to find out our futures, not talk about boring Slayer-stuff!"   
  
"Ready?" Buffy asked Amy, careful not to roll her eyes so Cordelia would see. The brunette socialite had taken to hanging out with them on occasion. Sometimes Buffy couldn't make up her mind if it was a good thing, or a bad thing.   
  
Amy nodded, stifling a giggle at Buffy's face. "Yeah. I'm ready."   
  
"What do we have to do?" Sonya asked. Her face didn't show any sign of apprehension, which Buffy took as a good sign. After her experiences with Nathan the evil druidic sorcerer, Sonya would have been within her rights to never willingly participate in magic again. It didn't seem to scare her, though. Magic, that is. Of course, since the magical after-effects of killing Nathan were what had the once-paralyzed Sonya walking again, maybe she didn't have as much reason to be scared as one would first think.   
  
"We all have to hold hands, and you have to concentrate on my words as I chant so I can direct our willing energy," Amy explained.   
  
Cordelia raised a perfectly-plucked eyebrow. "I'm not a witch. How do you expect to get your mitts on my *energy*?"   
  
"By concentrating on the spell and listening to my words you lend me your energy," Amy told Cordelia. "But if you're sitting there thinking about shopping or something then I can't direct your energy, and it won't work."   
  
Cordelia nodded. Then Faith spoke up. "I hope you plan to use English and not that Latin junk or one of those languages beyond time itself. I can't concentrate when I don't know what you're saying."   
  
Amy blushed. "Actually, it will be in Latin."   
  
"Why don't you translate it for us first," Buffy suggested quickly. "Then we'll already know what the spell means when you say the words in Latin."   
  
The others had no objections to that plan, so Amy translated. "Basically, I'll be asking the Fates to show us our destinies. The Fates are those old crones in Greek mythology. The ones who determine how long you live and what happens to you. I'll be asking for a glimpse of our futures. If they are amenable to our request, after I use the proper supplications and everything, we should get an answer."   
  
"How, exactly, will we get this answer?" Sonya asked.   
  
"That's the part that's an experiment," Amy admitted. "I guess we'll find out when we get there. I tried to ask Jenny about it..." Ms. Calendar, the witch/computer science teacher, served as Amy and Rio's teacher and mentor into the world of magic. "...but she didn't know either." What Amy didn't add was that Jenny thought future spells frivolous and most likely phony, not worth the time and magic spent to make them work. Amy hoped to prove Jenny wrong tonight.   
  
"Let's just get this over with," Faith interrupted suddenly. "Some of us do have better things to do."   
  
"Faith," Buffy said chidingly. The brunette fell silent, but it was a grudging silence.   
  
Amy took that as her cue. She held out her hands and Buffy took one. Cordelia took the other. Faith was next to Buffy, putting Sonya in the middle of Cordelia and Faith, acting as a buffer. Then Amy closed her eyes and began to chant.   
  
Buffy waited, concentrating on the words of the spell with all her might. She repeated them back in her head, but she didn't understand them. She didn't know Latin, though, living on the Hellmouth, it might be a wise language elective choice. After a moment, her extraneous thoughts faded away in the echo of Amy's voice.   
  
Then Amy said loudly, "Cordelia!"   
  
A shock of power went around the circle, bringing the scent of jasmine. Cordelia let out a surprised yip, and didn't bother to try and cover it with coolness. Buffy suddenly knew right where to look. In the bowl of still water in the middle of the circle. A blob of light appeared there that slowly began to shape and mold into a picture...   
  
Cordelia's face. A white gown. A baby. Tears. Laughter. A man. Dark haired. Leather jacket. Baby crying. A kiss. Blue.   
  
"Faith!"   
  
Another shock of power whizzed through the circle bringing with it the scent of citrus, and the picture in the bowl faded and morphed into something new...   
  
Angel. Faith. Angel. Kiss. Fangs. Kiss. Stake. Hug.   
  
"Sonya!"   
  
They were expecting the small power burst this time. The five women eagerly breathed in the scent of cinnamon as they watched the bowl closely...   
  
Sonya and Oz. Church. Moon. Cross. The glint of silver. A ring.   
  
"Amy!"   
  
This time the burst of power brought the aroma of pine needles and cool mountain air. They all inhaled the crisp, cold scent and watched the picture in the bowl avidly...   
  
Night. Amy bathed in a pink glow. Squeaking. Chanting. A man. Tall. Black clothes. Holding hands. Chanting. Success!   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
A Factory, Parts Unknown   
  
"I'm not sure about releasing this thing into the wild, Will. It is a demon." Buffy gave her best friend a worried glance.   
  
Across the room, Willow's evil, vampire counterpart, looking much more natural in black leather than a fuzzy, pink sweater, eyed Angel warily.   
  
"I just can't kill her," Willow said, a note of pleading in her voice.   
  
"No. Me, either," Buffy said regretfully. It was true. Willow's yell had not been the only thing that stopped her from plunging a cue stick into her best friend's doppelganger's back at the Bronze.   
  
Willow continued, "I mean, I know she's not me. We have a big nothing in common, but still..."   
  
"There but for the grace of getting bit," Buffy agreed. For just a moment, Buffy pictured life if her best friend had gotten bitten. There'd been so many things that she would have missed out on, including today, and dating back even from Buffy's first week in Sunnydale, the time Willow decided to "seize the day." But Buffy knew enough not to let stuff like that show on her face. She was the Slayer. She had to be the strong one.   
  
Resolve-face in tact, Willow said, "We send her back to her world, and she stands a chance. It's the way it should be anyway."   
  
Buffy was about to say something else, when Giles suddenly announced, "We're about ready here."   
  
Willow left Buffy's side and walked over to her evil counterpart. Buffy moved over closer to the circle. She passed Oz and then Xander on the way. Xander was his normal, goofy self, still jazzed over the fact that his doppelganger was a badass vampire. Then her eyes found Angel's... as they always tended to do when the two of them were in the same room. Buffy felt the involuntary shiver, and then the gut reaction "I can't," and then pain. With a tiny sigh, Buffy turned back to the circle to keep a watch on Evil Willow.   
  
Giles warned Anya, "Don't you try any tricks now, dear." Buffy seconded that sentiment. She'd just about had enough of this chick.   
  
"I don't need tricks," Anya proclaimed. "When I get my powers back, you will all grovel before me."   
  
[Oh, please] Buffy thought, but she didn't say anything.   
  
"Yes," Giles replied, in a tone that showed how little stock he put in Anya's claims. "Uh... if you... uh... Willows... would like to... uh... complete the circle." He pointed to the place where they should kneel.   
  
Buffy stepped a little closer and watched Willow say goodbye to her evil twin from an alternate dimension.   
  
"Good luck. Try not to kill people." Willow embraced the Willow-vampire and gave her a big hug. Suddenly, a shocked look came over her face and she jumped back. "Hands! Hands!"   
  
Willow was a little more skittish as they joined the circle and knelt where Giles indicated.   
  
Now it was time for the big magic. Buffy, Xander, Oz and Angel were pretty much useless for this part. The three of them stood far enough away so as not to interfere, but close enough in case they were needed. No matter how much the vampire looked like Willow, Buffy still didn't trust her. Maybe it was a Slayer sense, or some sort of premonition, but as Giles and Anya started the spell, Buffy's skin began to crawl. She clutched her ever present stake, needing some comfort in the palm of her hand.   
  
The lighting in the room began to change as the spell's power grew. Anya reached for Willow's hand, ready with a blue powder Buffy didn't recognize.   
  
That was when Evil Willow made her move. Before Willow could surrender her hand to Anya, the vampire turned toward Buffy's Willow, and her face morphed into its true visage. The others didn't even see it at first, except Willow who froze for just a split second too long. Everyone else was focused on the spell. Magic flowed all around them, but it hadn't reached out for the vampire yet. Evil Willow hissed, bearing fangs.   
  
Buffy didn't wait another second. She had to stop this before it got ugly. Slut-Willow was *not* going to kill her friend!   
  
Her stake was in her hand out of pure instinct, and Buffy was running. Before the vampire could get her fangs close enough for a taste, Buffy barreled into her, pushing Willow out of the circle with her free hand. Buffy and the vampire fell into the middle of the spell, cracking the plate on the floor in the middle of the circle. Giles froze mid-chant. Anya shrieked and jerked back. Blue powder went everywhere. Buffy plunged the stake into Evil Willow's leatherette top. Vampire dust joined blue powder floating in the air around her. Buffy took in a deep breath and started to choke.   
  
"Buffy!" several voices cried.   
  
Her skin tingled. The air around her began to fade. The weird light was vanishing. [Did they stop the spell?] she wondered, but it was hard to take in air. She couldn't get enough in to talk without choking on dust and powder. The light continued to fade. All of the light. The magic light and the real light.   
  
"Take my hand!" Giles yelled. "You have to get out of the circle."   
  
Buffy reached for him, but her vision was fuzzy. It was like she was trying to see through the fade-out effect on a video camera.   
  
She heard Angel's voice, thin and faint. "Buffy!"   
  
Darkness enveloped her. Darkness and cold... and the faint scent of honeysuckle.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Sonya's Bedroom   
  
"Buffy!" Amy cried, confident now that her spell had worked four times.   
  
But this time, the burst of power was greater than the times before. It felt almost like an electric shock. It skittered through the circle leaving pins and needles in its wake. The delicate perfume of honeysuckle became cloying and strong. Almost too strong. The picture in the bowl changed and moved. It started to close in on something, then faded. It tried again, something glinted red, and then it went black.   
  
"What's hap..." Buffy started to say, but her voice quit, born away on a crash of thunder. She choked, and blackness began to cover her eyes. It entered her nose and her ears at a trickle, and began pouring into her open mouth. Amy and Faith clutching tightly to her hands were her only links left to the world around them. She whimpered as frigid air blew over her body, raising gooseflesh on her neck and her arms. She heard someone call her name through the darkness, and then she was floating. She couldn't feel Amy and Faith's hands anymore. Then the blackness crept over her mind and she exhaled into nothingness.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Sonya's Bedroom   
  
Sonya opened her eyes and found herself lying on the carpet in her bedroom. Her head hurt amazingly. [What the hell...]   
  
Eventually, she pulled herself into a sitting position, and saw the other girls doing the same. Faith was first, and then Amy. Sonya reached out and helped Cordelia pull herself to a sitting position as well. She knew the brunette didn't have as much experience with this magic stuff... though Cordelia had been a half-Slayer for a time, so maybe this didn't phase her as much as Sonya first thought. They all seemed kind of out of it, though. Maybe their heads were pounding like Sonya's was.   
  
Then Sonya turned toward Buffy. It had been Buffy's future that screwed the spell up. Sonya hoped Buffy was OK...   
  
On the other side of the circle, Amy was smoothing Buffy's hair back from her forehead.   
  
"Is she OK?" Sonya asked.   
  
"She's breathing," Amy replied.   
  
"Remind me to never *ever* offer to help you people out with the hocus-pocus stuff again," Cordelia said as she stood up and tried to walk, without wobbling, over to the mirror. She picked up a comb and started running it through her hair.   
  
"Ditto," Faith said. She hopped up, and plopped down on Sonya's bed. "That was a rush, though."   
  
Sonya rolled her eyes and joined Amy next to Buffy. "What happened?" Sonya's voice was a little harsher than normal. Inside, she regretted it, but on the outside, well, old habits die hard.   
  
"I... I... I don't know," Amy stammered. "That shouldn't have... it shouldn't have done that. I researched so thoroughly... It was like... something else took control, some other magic."   
  
"Do you think the Mayor or the feral queen could do something like this?" Sonya asked, her mind already going into Slayer-mode. "Do you think they wanted to do something to Buffy?"   
  
Tears formed in the corners of Amy's eyes. She looked down at her friend and whispered, "Wake up, Buffy. Please."   
  
"Don't freak," Faith said from her position on the bed. "Magic goes wack-o sometimes. It just happens. Buff will wake up in a second, and all will be good."   
  
Cordelia turned from the mirror to look at them all, but -- mercifully, in Sonya's opinion -- she didn't say anything.   
  
A moan brought all of their attention back onto Buffy.   
  
"Buffy!" Amy cried.   
  
"Can you hear me?" Sonya asked.   
  
Buffy's eyes fluttered open. It a minute for them to focus, but they did. Sonya touched her wrist. The pulse was rapid, but strong. Sonya knew then Buffy would be all right. They all still had their Slayer.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Factory   
  
When the magic finally dispersed, Buffy and a broken plate were the only things left in the circle. And they were both covered in vampire dust. Angel crouched by her side and cradled his hand in her own. Willow was still on the floor, where Buffy's push had landed her, and Oz had knelt down beside her. They were holding hands. Giles stood over Buffy and Angel. Anya stood in the background. To Xander, it looked like she might try to make a break for it. Xander was not about to let that happen, not if she had caused this. Xander didn't know if she had caused it, of course, but this didn't seem the time to just take her word on that.   
  
When Anya took a stealthy step backwards, she bumped into Xander. He took her arm in his and whispered, "Let's join them."   
  
Anya frowned at him, but did as he suggested.   
  
When they got there, Xander looked down at Buffy. He'd seen her down before, but this time she looked almost fragile. Her skin had paled and there was something about the way she held her face, even in unconsciousness. He wanted to protect her.   
  
"Buffy, can you hear me?" Angel asked.   
  
Xander didn't wince. On the outside. But he knew, once again, that wanting to protect Buffy didn't give him that ability.   
  
"How is she?" he asked.   
  
Giles looked over at him, nodding when he saw Anya in Xander's custody. "I think she's all right. She was exposed to a lot of magic, but her pulse is still strong." He looked around the room. "And nothing seems to have gone amiss with the spell..."   
  
Just then, they all heard a little whimpering sound. Everyone looked down at Buffy. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around.   
  
"Buffy," Angel said in that voice meant only for her. Xander hated that voice. Then Angel crushed her to him in a fierce hug.   
  
"Are you all right?" Giles asked.   
  
Buffy pushed Angel away, a dazed expression on her face. "What... what's..."   
  
Oz helped Willow to her feet and they walked back to the circle.   
  
"Evil me tried to kill me, but you saved me," Willow reminded Buffy.   
  
Buffy looked at Willow and her eyes got impossibly wide. Her breathing sped up. She pushed herself away from Angel and fumbled for her stake. "I killed you!" She took a step toward Willow, brandishing the stake.   
  
"Buffy..." Willow squeaked. "It's me!"   
  
But Buffy didn't stop.   
  
"Buff! Ease off. You got the Evil twin. This is *good* Willow." Xander walked over and put an arm around Willow. "You know, me and Will. The original Slayerettes?"   
  
Buffy looked at him. Her mouth opened slightly, and tears filled the corners of her eyes. "Xander..." Her voice took on a breathy quality. She glanced back at Willow, but seemed willing to take his word for it and didn't attack the red head again. Xander quickly breathed a sigh of relief. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Buffy move. He took his arm away from Willow just in time to catch Buffy as she flung herself into his arms. Xander's heart sped up as the floral scent of her hair drifted up to his nose. He recognized that smell. Honeysuckle... like the vines that used to grow in his Aunt and Uncle LaVelle's backyard.   
  
"Maybe the spell scrambled her brains?" Anya suggested cheerfully. "Or the bump to the head when she fell..."   
  
Giles, who'd moved to stand next to her, shushed Anya with a glare. Angel's expression was unreadable, as was Oz's. Willow, however, looked really, really confused -- though grateful not to have a stake in her chest.   
  
But Xander didn't have a chance to take any of that in. His arms were full. Full of a sobbing Buffy clutching at him as if she'd never let him go. And all he could do was hug her back with all his strength and inhale the scent of honeysuckle. 


	2. Chapter 2

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 2: Sonya's Bedroom   
  
Buffy sprang off the floor and moved away from Sonya and Amy. Her back to the wall, she surveyed the room.   
  
"What's going on here?"   
  
Sonya stared at her friend in confusion. "What do you mean, Buffy?"   
  
The Slayer's eyes narrowed on Sonya. "How do you know my name?"   
  
That was not the answer Sonya had expected. "We've been friends... or at least known each other for over two years," Sonya said after a second. "And, yes, I've known your name the whole time."   
  
"Don't you remember the spell?" Amy asked. "We were trying to find out your future, and the spell kind of exploded. We all passed out. Maybe you hit your head or something?"   
  
Sonya watched Buffy's face as the other girl stared at Amy with something akin to shock.   
  
"How did you get back, Amy? And... your hair. It's blonde again."   
  
Amy touched her long, blonde tresses. They were even longer than Buffy's. "My hair has always been blonde. And, get back from where? I've been here the whole time."   
  
"The last time I saw you, Amy, you were scuttling your cage looking for cheese." Buffy dismissed Amy when the girl didn't have an explanation for that.   
  
"Y'know," Faith drawled from the bed. "I think that hocus-pocus did more than knock her out. I think her brains are toasty fried."   
  
Buffy looked at Faith, and this time there was recognition in her eyes. Her eyes quickly shuttered, hiding all her emotions. She held herself still. Sonya knew that look. The look of a Slayer tensed for an attack. She'd had that look before.   
  
"Buffy!" Sonya said. "What are you doing? Listen to me. We are all your friends. You, me, Amy... and even Cordelia and Faith. We were hanging out, helping Amy with her future spell. Something went crazy and we all passed out."   
  
A look of confusion broke over Buffy's face, but the girl quickly stifled it. Her gaze landed on Cordelia. The brunette smiled and spoke slowly, in a loud voice, like one might speak to a deaf person. "Hello, Buffy. It's me. Cordelia."   
  
Buffy walked over and grabbed Cordelia's arm. "Come on."   
  
Cordelia looked shocked, but she couldn't pull away from the Slayer's grip. "What are you doing?"   
  
"You're taking me to Giles." Buffy yanked on Cordelia's arm, hauling her out of the bedroom and into the hallway. "Is he at his apartment, or at the library? I know you haven't been around much since that whole thing with Xander, but you're going to help me now, Cordelia."   
  
Sonya, Amy and eventually Faith trailed behind the two girls, but it was Cordelia who answered, "Xander? Giles? Are you nuts, Buffy? They're in England, where they've been for, what, a year now? Get a grip, girl, or by the time your honey gets home tomorrow, you're gonna be a Girl Interrupted!"   
  
The front door of the house slammed, and a voice called, "Hello? I'm home..."   
  
"Aidan!" Sonya cried in relief. If anyone could figure out what was going on, it was the Watcher. "Aidan get up here! Now!"   
  
"Who's Aidan?" Buffy demanded. She let go of Cordelia, and the brunette stepped quickly out of reach.   
  
"Your Watcher," Sonya said. Her voice cracked with worry. "You don't remember anything do you?" Sonya turned to Amy. "Do you think instead of finding Buffy's future, your spell erased her memories of the past?"   
  
Amy looked like she was about to cry. "I don't know. I don't think so, but..."   
  
Aidan chose that moment to come up the stairs, and easy smile on his face. "Good evening, girls. I didn't realize you'd all be here."   
  
"You're a Watcher?" Buffy said, suspicion clouding her voice. She didn't trust Aidan any more than she'd trusted the other girls. Or maybe it was Watchers she didn't trust.   
  
Aidan's smile vanished, and he looked confused, but all business. "You know I am, Buffy. I've been your Watcher for months now." He looked at Sonya. "What's going on?"   
  
"We don't know," Sonya replied.   
  
"Buffy..." Aidan held his hand out to her. "Come into my office. We'll talk about this. We'll figure it out, just like we always do..."   
  
Buffy stared at his hand for a moment, then she pushed him to the side and ran down the stairs.   
  
"Wait! Stop!" Aidan called when he got his breath back. But it was too late. Buffy had run all the way down the stairs and out the front door.   
  
"Amy." Sonya gripped the crying girl's shoulder. "Go call Jenny. Now."   
  
Amy nodded, stifling her tears. Then she turned and headed for the nearest phone.   
  
Sonya looked at Aidan. "Should someone go after her?"   
  
The Watcher nodded. "That would probably be wise."   
  
"There's only one person who has a chance of getting her back here," Faith said suddenly. "Power-wise, I mean."   
  
Aidan nodded. "You can use my office phone."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The SHS Library   
  
Xander and Buffy sat side-by-side at one of the big tables. She had a deathgrip on his hand, and had since Giles had made them all leave the factory for safer, more familiar places. Xander didn't mind, however. What he did mind was how quiet she'd been since they left.   
  
Giles had sent Willow and Oz home. Just being around Willow made Buffy even more jumpy. Giles promised to call them later, when they knew anything. Angel was in charge of taking Anya home. The ex-demon had strict instructions not to leave town. Of course, in her human condition, she didn't really have much of a choice. Also Buffy seemed uncomfortable around the vampire. And, since Giles and Xander still had their issues with him, they hadn't minded letting him go.   
  
Xander looked over at Buffy, wondering what to say. The look on her face was frightening. She looked scared, lost even. Xander didn't understand what was going on, but Buffy didn't look like that unless things were bad. Really bad.   
  
He gently squeezed her fingers. When she looked at him, he gave her one of his lopsided grins. "You OK?"   
  
She tried to smile back at him, but couldn't quite manage it. She was saved from answering by Giles coming back to the table.   
  
He sat down across from them with a large, leather-bound book. "This is the book Anya got her spell from. Well, actually, being an ex-demon, she just knew the spell. But this is the book in which the spell is recorded." He flipped the book open to a marked page. "Now, Buffy, tell me everything you remember up to the point of the spell."   
  
Buffy bit her lip and glanced at Xander. He smiled at her encouragingly.   
  
"Um... OK." With her free hand, Buffy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She frowned, and then she said, "I was over at Sonya's house. Well, Sonya, Faith, Rio and Aidan live there."   
  
Xander's mouth fell open. What was she talking about? He was about to ask her flat out, but Giles caught his eye and shook his head. The Watcher evidently wanted to hear the whole thing. And maybe it would help them figure out what was wrong.   
  
"So, Amy wanted us to help her with this spell..." Buffy gestured to the book with her free hand. "...Jenny didn't believe it would work, but Amy wanted to show her."   
  
"Jenny?" Giles voice caught.   
  
Buffy nodded. "Jenny Calendar. The computer teacher. She's been training Amy and Rio since you went away. So, we were finding out about our futures. It worked fine for Amy and Sonya and Faith and Cordelia, but when Amy tried it on me, it got really dark and cold. I couldn't feel them around me any more. And then I woke up here."   
  
She paused, and then asked in a small voice, "Giles, why did you come back? Xander was coming back to train with Aidan, but you... you were going to stay in England with the Council. You said you liked working at the Academy. Sonya was really sad about that, but we all thought it was good that you had found work you loved..." Her voice trailed off.   
  
Giles's face was pale. "The... Academy? You think I'm working at the Watcher Training Academy?"   
  
Buffy nodded again. "Yes, you're the head master."   
  
Xander couldn't hold it in any longer. "I was in England?"   
  
Buffy frowned at him. "You know that, Xander! You were training to be a Watcher." She pulled her hand out of his. "You... you just graduated. You were coming home tomorrow. We were finally going to be together again."   
  
Both men sat back in their chairs and stared at her.   
  
"You think Jenny is alive, and that I still work for the Council?" Giles asked.   
  
But Xander's question was louder. "We were going to be together... again?"   
  
Buffy pushed herself back from the table. Her chin quivered as she held her tears inside, but she stood strong. Xander knew that look better than any of the others she'd had on her face since she woke up in the circle. This was the Slayer look.   
  
"Where's Aidan?" she asked. "Where are Sonya and Amy? Why are you two here, and what happened. I was in Sonya's bedroom and then I woke up in that factory with you two and Willow. I mean I killed Willow."   
  
"You killed the Evil Willow," Xander corrected. "Her doppelganger."   
  
Buffy frowned at him. "No, I killed Willow. She was a vampire. She and Spike were shacking up together and they tried to kill us. That was before I was even the Slayer. You remember Xander. You have to remember. Please?" She looked at him, and then at Giles. "What's going on? Why is everything different? Why don't you remember?"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets   
  
Buffy pumped her legs harder and harder, as if by running fast enough and far enough she could get out of this crazy nightmare. One second she was killing the Evil Willow vampire, the next second she woke up in a strange room with people she didn't know, or didn't trust.   
  
And Faith! What the hell had Faith been doing there, laying about like she owned the place. Faith hadn't been the same since she'd killed that man. Wesley never believed Buffy, but Giles had. They had been working on a plan to find out if Faith was really their friend.   
  
And Amy wasn't a rat! When did that happen? Willow had tried the spell over and over again, but it hadn't worked. They'd never been able to get the potions right without Amy's expertise, so the Amy rat was living in a cage in Willow's room at home.   
  
And what was Cordelia doing there? She never hung out with them any more. Not since the whole Willow-Xander thing. At least, she didn't when she could help it.   
  
And, speaking of Xander, where was he? And where was Giles? And where was Wesley? She didn't much like the guy, but it made her nervous not to know what he was up to. She had this fear in the back of her mind that he was trying to work against Giles even more than the Council had already. And where was Willow? Had something bad happened? Buffy had killed the evil twin, hadn't she?   
  
And these strangers... Sonya and Aidan. Another Watcher in town? Why? After the Crucintenium and Giles's firing, Buffy had good reason not to trust them. And that girl, Sonya... she was too tough. There was something about her Buffy couldn't get a grip on.   
  
But most of all, Buffy wanted to know where Angel was. She'd lost him once. She couldn't lose him again!   
  
Her legs pumped back and forth. The trees and the occasional building whipped by in a blur. Her body knew where she was going, she didn't need her mind to direct it. The mansion. Angel had to be there. He just had to be.   
  
When she got there, she skidded to a stop and looked around. It was even more run down than she remembered. Had it been so long since she'd been here? Hadn't she visited Angel just the other day?   
  
Buffy tread lightly on her way to the door. She crept inside, scanning the almost-familiar surroundings. But they were different, too. Where was the couch? Where was Angel's bed? It was like he'd never lived here.   
  
"Buffy?"   
  
She spun around and felt like crying in relief when she saw him standing there.   
  
"Angel. I was looking for you."   
  
He gave her a puzzled glance. "Then why would you come here?"   
  
Her heart plummeted again. "You... live here?"   
  
He shook his head. "I have an apartment. Downtown. You know that."   
  
Angel hadn't lived in that apartment for over a year. Not since before she sent him to Hell...   
  
Buffy ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. With him she could let herself go, let herself be weak. She'd had to be so strong lately. Strong for Giles who'd been fired. Strong for Willow and Xander and Oz so they woudn't be scared. Strong in the face of the Mayor's threats... It was hard to be strong. But with Angel... he was strong, too. She could be weak when they were alone together.   
  
He stood there for a moment, and then finally put his arms around her. "Buffy, what's happened? What's wrong?"   
  
"It's all different," Buffy told him, burying her face in his trench coat. "Everything's different, and I don't know what's going on. I woke up in this house... with all these people, and no one I trusted. No Xander or Giles. No Willow. No you..."   
  
"You wanted me?"   
  
He sounded so surprised. Buffy pulled back from his chest and looked up at him. She always had to tilt her head back so far. "I know, Angel. With the curse we aren't supposed to be together. It's too dangerous. But I need you, Angel. I'm... I'm scared. What's happening? Did the Mayor do something?"   
  
"Faith called me."   
  
Buffy frowned and stepped back from him. "What?"   
  
"She said something weird had happened, and that I should try and find you. Bring you back."   
  
"I'm not going back there." Buffy shook her head. "I have to find out what's going on, and I can't do that with them. I think they're in on it." Her eyes narrowed. "Are you in on it, too? I killed you once... if Angelus is back, I can kill you again." Her stomach clinched, but she kept herself strong. She couldn't make the same mistakes again and again.   
  
Angel held out his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I don't know what you're talking about. Angelus was my vampire name, but I gave it up when the gypsies cursed me with this soul. It didn't seem to fit any more." He sighed. "Look, if you don't want to go back to Aidan's, then let's go to your house. Your mom is probably worried by now. It's pretty late."   
  
Buffy nodded. Home sounded good. And maybe there she could find some answers. And there was a little part of her that just wanted her mommy.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's House   
  
Aidan hung up the phone and turned to look at the others. Faith lounged in his desk chair, idly spinning it with one foot on the floor and the other hooked over the arm. Amy and Jenny were on the couch, looking through books. Rio had gotten home as well, and they'd filled him in on what had happened. The warlock was helping research as well. Sonya had called Oz, and the couple stood by the window whispering quietly. Cordelia was silent. She sat down in a chair by the door and looked on, as if unsure of what to do.   
  
"Well?" Jenny prompted. "Aidan, what did he say."   
  
"That was Angel, right?" Sonya asked.   
  
Aidan nodded. "He said he found her at some old mansion on the outskirts of town. He's taking her home."   
  
"We should call Joyce," Amy said. Her tears had dried, but her voice still trembled now and then. Aidan wanted to tell her this wasn't her fault. She was obviously torturing herself. But Aidan couldn't rid himself of a tiny feeling that maybe it was her fault. He hated that he felt that way, but he couldn't help it. He also couldn't allow her to know he felt that way.   
  
"Yes," Aidan agreed. "I'll do that." Quickly, he punched in the familiar phone number and waited for Joyce to pick up... 


	3. Chapter 3

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 3: Willow's House   
  
"D'you think it was my fault?"   
  
Oz looked at his girlfriend in surprise. "By what definition of fault?" He moved over next to the couch and smoothed her hair back from her face. She'd been quiet since they left the factory. Today had taken its toll on her. Running his fingers through his newly-died black hair, Oz knew that he would do anything to protect her. He loved her. No matter what.   
  
"I mean... if I hadn't let Anya talk me into that spell, none of this would have happened." Willow sat up on the couch. Oz sat down beside her and listened. "There would have been no evil me, Buffy wouldn't have had to bust up the spell to save me, and she wouldn't be... confused."   
  
Oz shrugged. "You know, I think we're not giving enough credit."   
  
Willow looked at him, a little worry-crinkle marring her forehead. "Giving enough credit to who?"   
  
"God. The gods. Fate... whatever makes it all work."   
  
"Well, none of those things have helped us much before. We always have to do all the work."   
  
"Is that what you think?" Oz asked. "After all the times the world almost ends, and we all came out of it OK?"   
  
"Kendra didn't," Willow corrected him. "Jenny didn't. Jesse didn't."   
  
"True." Oz nodded. "But you have. Xander has, and Giles, and Cordelia, and me... and Buffy herself. I don't know what's wrong with her now, but we need to give credit where credit is due, and not freak out until we know there's something wrong. Everything could be fine right now."   
  
"Maybe it is." Willow snuggled into Oz's embrace, and once again he marveled at the beauty of her being there. It had been hard to get back to this place, but now that they were here, Oz would be damned if he wasn't going to keep it this way.   
  
"I love you, Oz," she whispered.   
  
"I love you back."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Aidan's House   
  
"We just have to wait."   
  
"I can't stand waiting."   
  
Oz reached out his arms to his girlfriend, and Sonya threw herself into them. He smoothed her chestnut brown hair and enjoyed the feel of her in his arms. Even when things were bad, Oz always loved having Sonya nearby. It had taken them so long to get it together, and so many things had happened along the way, every day with her walking and talking beside him seemed like a miracle.   
  
"What are you thinking about?"   
  
He looked down into her deep, blue eyes. "You."   
  
That made her smile. "At a time like this?"   
  
"Hey," Oz said. "Give credit where credit is due. I think Fate, or God, or the gods... whatever. I think it's looking out for us. And I think this will all work out in the end. It always does." He ran his fingers through his spiky red hair.   
  
"What makes you so optimistic?"   
  
"Life."   
  
Sonya smiled a little and settled her head on his shoulder. "Thank you. I love you, you know."   
  
"I know." When he didn't say anything else, Sonya looked up and frowned at him. He smiled. "I love you back."   
  
Across the room, Aidan hung up the phone. "Joyce has been briefed. She's going to do her best to keep Buffy there until we can find out what's going on." He paused, and then said, "I think... I think maybe I should call Giles."   
  
"Hold that thought," Rio interrupted. "I found something." He held out the thick book he'd been pouring over to Jenny. "Look at this."   
  
Jenny read where he pointed, and nodded. Amy peered over Jenny's shoulder.   
  
"You know," Jenny said quietly, "you may be right, Rio."   
  
"There's a first time for everything," Faith said, rolling her eyes.   
  
"Bite me," Rio replied without even looking at his former commander. They might have a truce, but that didn't always extend to verbal barbs.   
  
"What is it?" Aidan asked, ignoring them both and focusing on Jenny.   
  
The witch waved him over. "Come here. I'll show you."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summers' Residence   
  
Xander and Giles took Buffy home in Giles's little car. None of them said a word on the ride. Much had been said before, and they all had only gotten more questions. Xander was squnched into the backseat. His legs were too long for the tiny bit of space, so his knees were almost up to his chin. He could glimpse Buffy's face in the rearview mirror. She had been quiet ever since Xander and Giles hadn't had answers to her questions. Giles had been fairly silent as well. Xander thought maybe it was because Buffy had mentioned Jenny. Giles had managed to move on, but the wound still hurt him.   
  
For his own part, Xander was dwelling on one thing. Well, there had been many things in her long story that didn't make sense. The part about Willow and Spike... that had hurt. It brought back memories of Jesse as a vampire and a hole in Xander's heart that had never quite filled in. But that was obviously not true. Willow was alive and well. But the one inexplicable thing in Xander's mind was the part where Buffy said she and he had been together. And if she meant what he thought she meant... Xander's mind was pretty much blown.   
  
For her part, Buffy didn't know what in the world was going on. And she was scared. Waking up in a strange place with people who were dead. And Angel had been hugging her. And Giles was here. And Xander... when he looked at her, she could almost see the real Xander there, but... but it was different. There were barriers there. Barriers that she didn't understand. How had the world changed? Where was she?   
  
Buffy wanted her mother.   
  
Giles had promised that's where they were going. They pulled into a driveway, and Giles said, "Here we are." He turned off the motor and opened his door.   
  
Buffy sat there, looking up at the house.   
  
"What's wrong?" Xander asked. He seemed to be asking that a lot lately.   
  
"This... this isn't my house," Buffy whispered.   
  
"Look," Xander said, "this is your house. Your mom is waiting inside. But if you want, I'll go up with you. And, if you don't feel safe we'll leave."   
  
Buffy turned in the seat and looked back at Xander. "Do you promise?"   
  
"I promise." He looked deep into her eyes. "I would never, ever let anything happen to you. Never." It was a promise he'd made to himself at night many times, though he hadn't thought Buffy realized that. Maybe now she would.   
  
Buffy believed him. Xander was Xander... even if life had suddenly exploded into confusing shadows and similarities. And when Xander said she would be safe, Buffy believed him. She got out of the car and joined Giles on the sidewalk. Xander followed, as quickly as he could squeeze out of the tiny backseat.   
  
Buffy felt her stomach sink as she looked at the doorway. Could this really be her house? Was this all some kind of trick?   
  
Then the door opened. A figure was silhouetted in the glow of light from inside the house. Buffy would recognized that silhouette anywhere.   
  
"Mom!"   
  
She ran the rest of the way up the stairs and fell into her mother's arms.   
  
"Buffy! What...?" Joyce looked at Giles and Xander in confusion. "Did someone die?"   
  
Giles shook his head. "If you'll let us come in, we'll explain what we know..."   
  
Joyce nodded and opened the door a little wider. Then she ushered them all into the living room, keeping her arm around Buffy the whole time.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Summers' Residence   
  
When Angel led Buffy to what he said was her home, she wasn't surprised to find a completely different house. They weren't even on Ravello Drive. This house was a little smaller, but it had cute window boxes full of fresh, spring flowers and a rose bush in the front yard.   
  
"How are you doing?" Angel asked.   
  
Buffy gave him a sidelong glance. "OK." She felt weird around him. It was like he didn't know what to make of her. No one here did, of course, but it was painful that Angel didn't know her. Wasn't he supposed to be her true love? Their romance had been tragic, shouldn't that mean it was real? Shouldn't he be hers forever?   
  
She had decided against the whole Angelus scenario. The more Buffy thought about it, the more this all seemed like some weird Hellmouthy thing as opposed to some conscious evil plot. Maybe something had gone wrong when she was in the spell. With magic there were so many possibilities for mistakes. Buffy didn't know what had happened, but her theories were getting more and more crazy.   
  
"Do you want me to come in with you?" Angel asked, distracting her from her thoughts.   
  
Buffy shook her head. "No thanks. I got it." If she had to spend one more second with this weird version of Angel... her heart just couldn't take it. The hard mask took over. "See ya." Then she walked up to the door. It was open. She strolled right into the house.   
  
"Sweetie! Aidan called me." Joyce hurried to embrace her daughter. "I was worried about you."   
  
Buffy frowned. "Boy, these guys really call a lot. Faith called Angel, had him track me down."   
  
"They were worried, honey," Joyce said. She looked at Buffy consideringly. "Are you all right? You look a little strange. They were vague about what happened on the phone."   
  
"I'm fine. I wish everyone would quit asking me that." Buffy turned toward the stairs. "I'm going to my room."   
  
Joyce's brow furrowed. "But... I fixed us dinner."   
  
"I'm not hungry."   
  
With that, Buffy walked upstairs, leaving her mother down below. Buffy felt a little bad about that, but she had to be alone, right now. This was getting worse and worse, and she didn't know what to do about it.   
  
When she got upstairs, Buffy realized that she didn't know which room was hers. [Great.] She sighed and opened the first door she came to. It was her mom's room. She recognized the quilt on the bed, though the drapes on the windows were new. [At least a couple of things are still the same.]   
  
The next room she peeked into was the bathroom. [Useful information, but not what I'm looking for. A bath would be soothing, though...]   
  
Buffy wondered if she should be worried that she wasn't more scared. She was freaked out, and, yes, there was fear lurking below, as always. However, there was something about this place that touched a chord within her. She could actually imagine living here. There was a faint whiff of her mother's favorite perfume on the air, and in the bathroom she'd spotted some of her favorite cosmetics.   
  
Finally, Buffy came to her room. She knew it instantly. It was different but the same. The bed was the same, with the same comforter on it. Her stuffed pig sat on the shelf, and her vanity sat along one wall, strewn with hair ties, make-up and other things.   
  
She walked closer. There were pictures along the mirror. Buffy leaned in to look at them. None of the scenes were familiar. There were photos of her with the girls from the bedroom -- several shots of her, Amy and the other girl, Sonya. There was a picture of Sonya and Oz together. But most of the shots... Buffy's eyes widened as she kept looking. Yes, most of the shots were of Xander. Or Buffy and Xander. Buffy's jaw dropped when she found a picture of her and Xander kissing in front of what looked like Big Ben.   
  
"Now I know I've been dropped into bizzarro world!" Buffy exclaimed, pulling the picture from the mirror for a closer look. But no, it wasn't one of those magical 3-D things where the picture changes when you squint your eyes. She set the picture on the vanity, face down and stared at herself in the mirror. "OK, Buffy. You need... you need to relax for a little while. Try and figure things out... Try and figure out why you've been zapped to bizzarro world and your hair suddenly has a blunt cut..."   
  
Shaking her head, Buffy decided that that bath really sounded good. She turned away from the mirror and traded her clothes -- worn jeans and a sweater... not one of her normal choices -- for a faded, pink bath robe. Then she padded into the bathroom and turned on the faucets.   
  
While waiting for the tub to fill, Buffy noticed a rip in the hem of the bathrobe. She leaned down to see how bad it was... and then she began to scream at the top of her lungs!   
  
Seconds later, Joyce burst into the steamy bathroom. "What is it, honey?"   
  
Buffy looked up, tears in her eyes. "My legs! What happened to my legs, Mom?" 


	4. Chapter 4

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 4:   
  
Summers' Residence   
  
"Your legs?" Joyce winced at the horrified look on her daughter's face. Steam floated around both women as Joyce leaned around Buffy to turn off the water flowing into the bathtub.   
  
Buffy put one leg up on the edge of the bathtub. Old, pink scars laced the otherwise perfect, creamy skin. "What happened to me, Mom?"   
  
Joyce reached out and touched Buffy's knee. Buffy jerked her leg away, hiding it as well as she could under the robe.   
  
"You don't remember the accident, do you?" It was more a statement than a question.   
  
Buffy sank down on top of the lid of the closed toilet. She shook her head. "No." Her fingers found a scar on one knee. "It must have happened a long time ago."   
  
"1996." Joyce could remember it like it was yesterday. It had been the scariest moment in her whole life. The phone call telling her that her baby was in the hospital and might never walk again. The doctors telling her nothing. Being helpless to help her child. It had been even worse than the life-threatening situations she'd faced since Buffy became the Slayer. Even worse that knowing Buffy faced life-threatening situations. Because, at least now, Buffy had an edge against the evil. Then, she could have just as easily been dead. Or crippled for life.   
  
"I don't remember it," Buffy said quietly, "because it never happened. I became the Slayer in 1996, and then we moved to Sunnydale after I burned down a nest of vampires in the Hemery High gym."   
  
Joyce frowned. "The gym at Hemery? That never happened. We moved here because of my job. You didn't become the Slayer until late in 1997. After your legs healed. After Sonya was Slayer."   
  
A strange look passed over Buffy's face. "That's why she seemed so familiar to me."   
  
"You know her. She's one of your best friends."   
  
"No. She used to be a Slayer. I recognized her... well... maybe aura is the best word. I just couldn't figure out why." Buffy frowned. "Of course, how she's still alive and yet not the Slayer is a mystery, but that's not important right now."   
  
Joyce had been scrutinizing her daughter carefully. Studying her facial expressions, her reactions, everything that was uniquely Buffy. "You're not my Buffy."   
  
Buffy looked up in confusion. "Huh?"   
  
Joyce said it with more conviction this time. "I don't know how this can be, because you are Buffy, but in my heart... in my heart I know that you aren't *my* Buffy."   
  
"Back home," Buffy said slowly, "we were casting a spell to send... someone back home. Anya described it as an alternate dimension, sort of." Buffy's memories of Anya's words were hazy. Buffy had blocked most of them out because Anya had a tendency to babble about "when she got her powers back." Aloud, she continued her thought, "When I fell into the spell, do you think...?"   
  
"You got switched?" Joyce finished for her. Even if this wasn't Joyce's Buffy, she was still her daughter. Joyce still knew her. And still loved her.   
  
"It doesn't seem possible, unless..." Buffy looked up at Joyce. "Did you know Willow? Was she... a vampire here? And Xander..." [Did he become a badass vampire, too?]   
  
Joyce frowned. "You told me about Willow. You all killed her two years ago." Joyce smiled. "But don't worry. Xander is fine..." A bad feeling came over Joyce's heart. Xander! He would be home in a few hours.   
  
Buffy frowned, too, but not for the same reasons. "Then the Evil Willow we were trying to send back didn't belong to this world... I don't know how the spell could have sent me here."   
  
Getting her worries under control, Joyce said hesitantly, "Maybe we should call Aidan."   
  
Buffy sighed deeply. "Do we have to call him?" There was a plaintive quality to her voice that she didn't like, but she couldn't stop it.   
  
"He's your... he's my Buffy's Watcher. He's completely trustworthy."   
  
"I don't trust Watcher's I don't know. Actually, I only trust Giles. Watchers are horrible liars. They... they hurt people."   
  
Joyce nodded. "There were problems last year with the Watchers. You and Giles were on trial." It felt weird to explain events Buffy had been present for, but Joyce did it anyway. She knew the truth in her heart, though it was inexplicable. It was just her head that was having difficulties. "Anyway, it took a lot, but we helped the Watchers clean house. Giles stayed on in England to train new Watchers, and Aidan came here. But, I promise, you can trust Aidan. Actually, you can trust any Watcher now that Chamberlain is dead."   
  
Buffy tried to let all that sink in. Finally, she said, "OK, you can call him."   
  
"Good." Joyce went to the door. "If you still want to, a good soak might make you feel better, sweetie."   
  
"Thanks, Mom."   
  
A bittersweet pang filled Joyce's heart as she exited the bathroom. That's when she knew the truth. Really knew it. Buffy would always be her little girl... any Buffy, from any life, she would always be in Joyce's heart.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summers' Residence   
  
Giles and Xander waited in the living room while Joyce comforted Buffy in the kitchen. They waited in fairly awkward silence. Xander fidgeted nervously on his side of the couch. One knee bounced involuntarily. Xander wasn't always completely comfortable with Giles. Xander counted Giles as one of the only adult men he could trust, and he knew that Giles knew he could trust Xander, but that didn't automatically make them compatible. Xander admired the older man for his talent and his intelligence, but Giles was not necessarily an easy man to get to know. Sometimes Xander thought that Giles thought his life would have been much easier without Xander in it. Other times, Xander told himself that couldn't possibly be true, but he always had that nagging little voice ready to create doubt whenever Giles made a sarcastic comment -- even if Xander laughed on the outside.   
  
Finally, unable to stand the silence any more, Xander asked, "So, Giles, any ideas about what happened?"   
  
"Er... not completely." Giles pulled himself out of his thoughts with an effort. "Of course, I believe it had something to do with the unfinished spell... dealing with different dimensions can be tricky, but we hadn't even gotten to that part of the spell yet. The blue powder was never spilled. What eludes me is why that caused her memories to be altered."   
  
"Guess it will be a long night with the books," Xander commented.   
  
"Quite," Giles agreed.   
  
Xander glanced at the dark TV screen for a moment, and then back at Giles. "I could help if you want to."   
  
Giles looked surprised.   
  
"I know, I know. Research duty is not my favorite... but... it's Buffy. We've got to figure this out, even if I have to chain myself to the library table."   
  
"Thank you, Xander. I may take you up on that offer."   
  
Xander thought that Giles actually looked pleased. Maybe the man thought Xander could be useful after all.   
  
"Hello, Xander... Giles." Joyce came out of the kitchen with Buffy in tow. "Sorry we took so long."   
  
"It's fine," Giles assured her. His eyes met Joyce's for a moment, and then both quickly looked away. Xander frowned, wondering what that was all about. Then his gaze found Buffy, and he had much more important things to wonder about. Namely, the new enigma that Buffy had become. His heart thumped when she looked at him. He'd never seen such a gaze out of her familiar green eyes before tonight.   
  
"How are you feeling?" Xander asked gently.   
  
Buffy smiled tremulously. "OK. Better."   
  
"Mom's make things better. It's our job," Joyce said, giving her daughter a quick hug. "Now... tell me what you've figured out."   
  
Giles looked as uncomfortable as Xander had ever seen him. "Well... er... I'm not quite sure. Make no mistake, I will find out, though."   
  
Joyce suddenly frowned. She opened her mouth, and then shut it again. "This may sound kind of strange, but... do you think Buffy could have been switched? Maybe... maybe this is not our Buffy."   
  
As one, Giles, Xander and Buffy turned to stare at Joyce.   
  
After a moment of silence, Xander raised his hand and said, "Um... can I be the first to say, huh?"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's House   
  
"Dimensional switches are possible," Jenny told the group huddled in Aidan's study. "There are many dimensions out there to choose from as well. And, it stands to reason, if there is more than one dimension, then there could be duplicates of us in some of them."   
  
Sonya raised her hand. "But how does that tie in here? We weren't casting a dimension spell. It was a future spell. And it's not like Buffy vanished or reappeared in different clothes or anything. She was just unconscious for a few minutes."   
  
"The key is in the Latin of the future spell," Jenny explained. She pointed to a passage in the spell book Rio had handed her. "Part of the future spell invokes alternate dimensions as a way to see what might become. Divination of the future is a sketchy art at best. It calls on too many variables."   
  
"And the dimension thing... it was hidden in the translation," Rio added. "The meaning of the words depend on how you translate them."   
  
"Do you think it would be possible for Buffy to be switched with a duplicate of herself without her physical body switching?" Aidan asked Jenny seriously.   
  
She nodded. "Anything is possible. Even this. Possession is not unheard of. It would only be easier if the possessing force were close to the original occupant of the body. And what could be closer than another version of the same essence?"   
  
Silence reigned in the room for a moment. Sonya reached out and clasped Oz's hand.   
  
"Intense," Oz whispered.   
  
They all jumped -- Cordelia even yelped a little from her chair by the door -- when the phone started to ring. 


	5. Chapter 5

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 5:   
  
Summer's Residence   
  
"Er... Joyce, how did you come up with this theory?" Giles asked. Buffy and Xander were also looking at Buffy's mother with confused expressions.   
  
Joyce blushed a little. "I'm actually not quite sure. I was thinking about the strangeness of my daughter and I having such different memories of the last several years, and then the idea suddenly came to me. It was like someone whispered the idea in my ear, and it just popped out of my mouth."   
  
"Do you think it's possible?" Buffy asked Giles. "I mean... it would explain why everything is *so* different."   
  
Giles nodded slowly. "We were working with a dimensional spell on this end..." His voice trailed off as his mind went into research mode.   
  
Xander grinned. "I think we've got a winner. Let's get this man to his books!" Then he turned to Buffy. "You'll be OK here, right?"   
  
"Yeah," she said. "It's strange, but in a weird way, it still feels like home."   
  
Giles stood up, and the foursome began walking toward the front door. Buffy touched Xander's arm, and the teenagers came to a stop a few feet behind the other two.   
  
"Xander?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Could you come over tomorrow? I'd... I'd like to talk about stuff, find out more about this world, or dimension, or whatever."   
  
"Sure," Xander agreed easily. "I'd love to."   
  
Buffy's face lighted in a smile, and Xander felt his heart pitter-pat violently.   
  
"Thanks," she said, and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek.   
  
Xander swallowed a couple of times, but his throat was still dry.   
  
"It's time to go," Giles called impatiently from the doorway.   
  
Finally, Xander managed to croak, "Good night, Buffy." And then he followed the former-Watcher out to the car.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's House   
  
"Yes, yes... yes. I see."   
  
The room was silent as Aidan talked on the phone.   
  
"Thank you for calling, Joyce. You have confirmed the theory Rio and Jenny just discovered in the magic books. Yes. Yes. Quite right. Tomorrow will give us plenty of time to rest. Ah, I had forgotten about that. Yes, you and Buffy take care of that and meet us afterward. Fine. Good night."   
  
He hung up and looked around the room.   
  
"Things that Joyce found out from talking with Buffy confirm the dimensional switch theory. Somehow our Buffy got switched with another Buffy."   
  
Cordelia raised her hand.   
  
Hiding a smile at the school girlishness of the action, Aidan said, "Yes, Cordelia?"   
  
"What are the odds of two Buffys who look just alike? I mean, she still had the same clothes on and everything."   
  
"The body is just a vessel, Cordelia," Jenny explained. "Of course, there are cases where people have crossed dimensional boundaries, however, those cases didn't have anything to do with switching. I've done a little reading on this subject in the past. People who travel to other dimensions through portals, etc., do it like traveling any place. But this... this is an entirely different situation. What must have happened is that the future spell caused some strange reaction and the Buffys from two different dimensions were switched. Their innate Buffyness. Their souls, if you will. Another Buffy is now inside our Buffy's body, and vice versa."   
  
"Like astral projection?" Oz asked.   
  
"That's the form of travel where you leave your body behind, right?" Sonya asked.   
  
Oz nodded.   
  
"It could be somewhat like astral projection," Jenny agreed. "This sort of thing hasn't been documented before, as far as I know. But it is possible that it's happened."   
  
"And if it has, we will find out about it," Aidan said positively. "We will figure out a way to get the Buffys switched back.   
  
"I hope so," Amy whispered. Rio put his arm around her, and she leaned into him, grateful for his support.   
  
"We will," Aidan vowed. "No matter how long it takes."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summer's Residence   
  
Buffy woke up slowly the next morning. The bed was so comfortable, she didn't want to stir a single toe out from under the covers.   
  
"Buffy! It's time to get up. We've got things to do today."   
  
"It's Saturday," Buffy groaned. She rolled over and clutched her pillow to her chest.   
  
"Yes, and we've got things scheduled."   
  
Buffy opened her eyes and was immediately confronted with her mother's smiley, early-morning face and the weirdness of a room that wasn't quite her own. She sighed. She'd been having such a great dream. She and Angel had been walking side-by-side on the beach. He'd been holding her hand, and they'd just been enjoying each other. Something that would never happen in any dimension where Angel was a soul-cursed vampire.   
  
"I'm up."   
  
"Good. When you're ready, come downstairs. I've got bagels from that shop you like..." Joyce faltered. "Um... from this really good bagel shop near the gallery."   
  
Buffy nodded. "Sounds good."   
  
It didn't take long for her to shower and dry her hair. It took her a little longer to pick out something to wear. As she flipped through a closet full of practical, serviceable clothes (lots of denim, lots of practical shirts, pieces her mother would call "lovely," but only a few splurges from the cutting edge of fashion), Buffy muttered, "What kind of unstylish person am I on this world? I don't even own any good minis or tank tops!"   
  
Finally, she decided on a pair of jeans she pulled from the back of the closet. They were probably there because they were tight. But Buffy liked her jeans tight, if she had to wear jeans. Then, buried in a dresser drawer under a mound of opaque tights and knit leggings, she found a yellow baby-T with the word "princess" written across the chest in script and pulled it over her head. She rounded the outfit off with a pair of boots (sturdy boots, fit for much slayage).   
  
After deciding to leave her hair down, Buffy began to rummage through the jewelry box on the vanity. Inside, she found a small, velvet box that she didn't recognize. Curious, Buffy opened it. Inside was a silver ring decorated with red stones in the shape of a heart. They almost looked like rubies, but Buffy was willing to wager that they were garnets. Who would put rubies on a silver ring? Rubies demanded a gold band. Buffy touched the heart gently and felt the roughness of the cut stones against her finger. She wondered who the ring had come from on this world. Not Angel. A Claudaugh ring, sure, but not silver and garnets in the shape of a heart. Not his style. Her eyes shot to the pictures tucked into the mirror. No... Xander wasn't a heart-shaped ring kind of guy... He was funny, reliable, goofy Xander, more interested in copping a feel than professing deeper sentiments. Suddenly feeling strange, Buffy closed the box with a resounding snap and went downstairs without any jewelry on.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summers' Residence   
  
Buffy didn't sleep well that night. Even though the bed in "her" room was comfortable, it just didn't feel like home. Just like this body. It didn't feel quite right to her. She felt familiar there, but it was like a dream. Familiar and yet wrong simultaneously. This body didn't look right, either, and it wasn't just the longer hair that troubled her. All through the night, her hands kept sneaking down to her strangely-scar-free legs, hoping to find rough ridges on the smooth, golden skin. Normally, Buffy hated her scars and felt they marred her appearance. That was why she shunned trendy, short, revealing clothes (unless they looked good with opaque tights) in favor of leg-covering garments. But now the fact that the scars weren't there just contributed to the alienness she felt in this strange world.   
  
About dawn, Buffy finally dozed off for a couple of hours of fitful sleep, and awoke around midmorning not feeling at all refreshed.   
  
After a quick shower she was more alert, and she headed back to her room to dress. She didn't expect such a mundane task to turn into an ordeal until she opened the closet to find rows of the kinds of clothes she used to love, but had given up after the accident. Minis, tank tops, halters, platform shoes, capri pants, etc. Eventually, toward the back of the closet, Buffy found some things she would consider wearing. Several long skirts and pairs of slacks. There was one pair of jeans hanging very far in the back of the closet. It still had the tags on it.   
  
[How does one slay without practical clothes?] Buffy wondered as she perused the wardrobe. [Give me jeans and a cute shirt that doesn't show vamp dust any night of the week!]   
  
She found some fingernail scissors on the dresser and cut the tags off the jeans. Then she slid them on, feeling the crispness of unwashed jeans against the smooth, unmarred skin of her legs. Once she had the jeans on, she finally decided on a brilliant orange halter with ties in the back and put it on. Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, Buffy had to smile a little. The orange did look good against her skin. [Maybe I ought to refurbish my wardrobe a little when I get home. Assuming, of course, that I *do* get home.]   
  
With a sigh, Buffy slid her feet into a pair of boots ([At least we like the same shoes! Sometimes.]) and was ready for whatever the day would bring. Her eyes fell on the bedside clock. It was after 10. She should have been in the car with her mom on the way to the airport to meet Xander. Xander! What was her Xander going to do when she wasn't there?   
  
"Now, Buffy," she told herself sternly, "don't freak out. Giles is on the case here, and I'm sure Aidan is on the case at home as well. This is all going to work out. Just don't freak."   
  
Downstairs, she heard the sound of a doorbell, followed by her mother's voice. "Buffy, Xander's here."   
  
Buffy felt the familiar flutter in her heart that she always got when she was about to see her boyfriend, and headed for the stairs. Intellectually, she knew this wasn't *her* Xander, but he was still Xander, and she wanted to spend some time with him. Also, Buffy had to admit to a healthy dose of curiosity. What in the world could have kept the Buffy of this world from being with Xander? It must have been something major.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
LAX   
  
Buffy trailed after her mother through the International terminal at the airport.   
  
"I still don't see why I had to come," Buffy grumbled. "I'm sure I could do more good trying to figure out what happened to me."   
  
"Xander was expecting to see you, Buffy," Joyce said. "It will be easier if we tell him what's going on right up front."   
  
Buffy couldn't quell a feeling of dread. As much as she tried to believe that the pictures of her alter-ego and Xander tucked into the bedroom mirror were faked or that she'd misinterpreted them, Buffy was worried that they were in fact what they looked like.   
  
[No] Buffy told herself for the millionth time. [Me and Xander? Never happen. That kissing picture, it must've been a joke. Yeah, Xander's like that. A laugh a minute. It would be just like him to kiss me right before a picture was taken, wouldn't it? I shouldn't worry.]   
  
They arrived at the proper gate just as the passengers started to disembark. Joyce scanned the crowd, looking for the familiar, brown head above the crowd. Xander was tall enough that spotting him wasn't usually a problem.   
  
When she saw him, Joyce began to smile. "There he is." Buffy followed her mother's gaze, and couldn't help but stare. That was Xander all right. She recognized his gleaming, fun-filled eyes, and his ready smile. But there was something different about him as well. His shoulders seemed broader in the suit he was wearing. Not tweed, but still a nice suit. With a tie! And there was a air about him, a confidence to his step. He didn't shuffle along like someone without a goal in life. He faced life, and the surrounding crowds, with eyes forward instead of a gaze that grazed the tops of his shoes.   
  
"Mom?" Buffy asked quietly. "Where has Xander been? Why does he look so... different?"   
  
"He's been training to be a Watcher," Joyce replied. "I knew he had it in him. Ever since that first night you brought him home..." She trailed off uncomfortably. Buffy looked back at Xander. That was when their eyes met.   
  
"Buffy!" He increased his pace and she quickly found him standing next to her. Before Buffy could even react, Xander dropped his sleek, black leather carry-on and took her in his arms.   
  
"I love you," he whispered, and then pressed his lips to hers. 


	6. Chapter 6

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 6:   
  
LAX   
  
An inner voice told her to struggle. If he kissed her... well, Xander Harris wasn't supposed to kiss Buffy Summers. It just wasn't supposed to happen. He was her friend, not her lover. But another part of her was frozen in place, waiting to see what would happen.   
  
Then it was happening. He was kissing her. Buffy felt the warmth and softness of Xander's lips with a tiny gasp of surprise. The kiss was totally different than any she'd experienced before. Passion, she'd felt that. And love... she'd felt that, too. But in Xander's kiss, Buffy felt cherished. And she could feel the assurance that Xander felt loved and cherished in return.   
  
That was what broke the spell.   
  
Buffy pushed against his shoulders and tore her lips from his. "Stop!"   
  
He staggered a little under the force of her push. Buffy wobbled when she suddenly had to stand on her own power again. Xander reached out to steady her, a concerned expression in his eyes. The expression swiftly changed to a hurt look as Buffy jerked away from his touch.   
  
"What... what's wrong, Buffy?" Xander's gaze moved from her face to Joyce. "Something's happened." His tone became clipped and business-like. "Tell me."   
  
Buffy opened her mouth, but Joyce answered first. "You're right, Xander. Something has happened. Something unexpected." She paused, obviously searching for the right words.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summer's Residence   
  
Buffy hurried downstairs to find Xander and her mother talking in the entry hall.   
  
"Hi," she said shyly as she came up to them. It was Xander, but not her Xander. A fact that made her both comfortable with him and shy around him at the same time. This whole... (what had her mother called it?) ... switch was confusing that way. It had been a multitude of conflicting feelings, of similarities and differences, of home and strange. It was hard.   
  
"Hey." Xander smiled at her, and she couldn't help but smile back. His grin was infectious.   
  
"Well," Joyce said, "I've got to run into the gallery for a bit."   
  
"But it's Saturday," Xander protested. "Surely they can get by without you."   
  
Joyce shook her head. "I promised to cover Glen's shift. He has a birthday party for his daughter to attend." She smiled at Buffy, but there were traces of sadness in it. "You see how I couldn't refuse. You'll be OK without me, right?"   
  
Buffy put on her strong face. She was the Slayer after all. She could handle time without her mommy in the house. "I'll be fine. Go."   
  
"Call me if you need me, promise?" Joyce wrapped Buffy in a tight hug. "I love you."   
  
"I love you, too," Buffy replied. And it was true. No matter if it was "her" mother or not, she still loved Joyce just the same.   
  
After Joyce had vanished out the front door, Buffy glanced at Xander. "So..."   
  
"So..." he replied. He shuffled his feet against the floor, obviously feeling awkward, too. "What do you want to do?"   
  
She decided to just say it. "Xander, I want you to tell me the story of my life. I want to know about this world and my place in it. It will help me adjust, for as long as I'm here anyway."   
  
Xander nodded. "The story of your life. I can help you there. Definitely."   
  
"You want to go into the kitchen?" Buffy asked. "I bet I could find something for us to eat. There might even be some Twinkies..."   
  
His face lit up. "Yum! You can't beat a Twinkie on a Saturday morning. Lead the way, Buff!"   
  
Buffy discovered she didn't like the nickname Buff. It sounded so... butch. Especially coming from lips that in another time and place called her sweetheart, darling, and my love. "Did you give me that nickname?" she asked, trying to cover her dislike.   
  
Xander shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I did. Habit. I call Willow, Will all the time, too."   
  
"Oh," Buffy replied. In the kitchen, she got down two glasses and poured them soda. "Root beer," she said as she handed Xander his glass. "Your favorite."   
  
He looked surprised. "Thanks."   
  
After rooting around in the cabinets for a couple of minutes, Buffy hopped down to the floor with her arms full of goodies. She might not know how this particular kitchen was organized, but she knew her mother. As she put the packages down on the table, she said, "There weren't actually any Twinkies. Sorry to lead you on."   
  
Xander grabbed his heart. "Alas, I mourn for the Twinkies that never were."   
  
Buffy couldn't help but giggle. "Well, I hope these things will make up for it. I picked out what you like -- cheesy chips, Ho-Hos, and Crunchberries."   
  
"I think I'm in junk food heaven," Xander quipped, tearing open the bag of cheesy chips. "Yum." He was several mouthfuls into the chips when he realized Buffy wasn't eating. "Aren't you gonna have some?" he mumbled through chip debris.   
  
"In a minute," Buffy said.   
  
Xander swallowed. "What are you doing?"   
  
She blushed. "Watching you."   
  
Xander couldn't remember ever seeing Buffy blush before. "You were watching the Xand-man?"   
  
"Yeah." He saw the muscles in her throat work as she swallowed a sip of soda. "I just wanted to try and understand what you're like here. What we're like here."   
  
"We're friends, Buffy. You, me, and Willow. Me and Willow are the original Slayerettes. We help you both on patrol and off, you know? You save our lives, we make your life more fun and help out with the research stuff." Xander paused. "We're almost like... like a family."   
  
"Oh."   
  
His gaze focused on her, cheesy chips forgotten. "What's wrong, Buffy?"   
  
"Well, it's just... this is hard for me."   
  
"Because we're 'together' on your world? Dimension? Whatever?" She's said something like that before, but she'd been under stress. Xander felt himself stop breathing as he waited for her answer.   
  
"Yes."   
  
It was barely more than a whisper, but Xander heard it and his heart began to pound. Him and Buffy! Just the thought that *somewhere* it had happened was enough to make him want to do the Snoopy dance. But he refrained. He didn't want to look too much like an idiot. It was only this Buffy's first day.   
  
Then she surprised him by continuing to speak. "I fell in love with him when I read his Haiku in English class. I sat in front of him on my first day here. Then... then he saved my life."   
  
"I... he... I saved you?" Xander stumbled over his words in an attempt to make them come out right. "But... I mean... you're the... how?"   
  
"I wasn't the Slayer when my mom and I moved to Sunnydale."   
  
That was not the reply Xander had expected. Anything but. Luckily for him, she kept talking. At that point, he probably wouldn't have been able to form a question.   
  
"I found out later that I was supposed to be called when I lived in L.A., but before it happened I got hit by a car. My legs were broken. Not just once, but all over. It took a lot of surgery, and time in a wheelchair and then leg braces to get me walking again. But I did it. And then my mother found out about the gallery here, and she bought it, and we moved here."   
  
"That's when I saved your life?"   
  
"Yeah. From a vampire named Linus. He tried to make me dinner outside the Bronze. You were my hero that night, Xander. I'll never forget it. You were so brave. You had pretty much taken over patrol and stuff because Sonya..."   
  
"Who?"   
  
"Sonya, the Slayer called instead of me."   
  
"What about Kendra?"   
  
Buffy frowned. "I don't know a Kendra."   
  
"Weird." Xander decided not to dwell on that. Who was he to decipher who got chosen when? There were too many more important things to dwell on. Namely, 1) he saved Buffy's life, 2) he and Buffy were an item, and 3) he had been leading patrols! "Go on, Buffy. Please finish your story."   
  
"Well, Sonya got paralyzed while she was fighting the Master. There was this cave in. And, anyway, you were patrolling, and you saved me from Linus. After that, I was hopelessly in love with you. Of course, we had to hide it for a while. Sonya and Giles didn't want me involved. But eventually we proved them wrong, and I became the Slayer, and..." Buffy took a deep breath. "Well, there's a lot more to our story than that, but we'd be here all day if I kept going."   
  
"I don't care," Xander said. "I'll sit here as long as it takes."   
  
Buffy smiled a little. "But you were supposed to tell me about my life here. Not the other way around."   
  
Xander couldn't help but smile back at her. Suddenly, he was in a terrific mood. "How about this. We'll take turns. You can tell me about your life, and then I'll tell you about this one."   
  
"Deal," Buffy agreed. "But now it's your turn."   
  
Xander groaned. "I guess you got me there."   
  
"Darn tootin'!"   
  
Their eyes met, and they both dissolved into laughter.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Sunnydale City Hall   
  
"Mr. Mayor, something has happened."   
  
Mayor Wilkens looked up from some papers, and said, "Come in, Lindsey. Tell me all about it."   
  
Lindsey walked into the Mayor's office with a calm, lawyerly exterior. "I had a call from one of our informants."   
  
"What have you learned?"   
  
"Something big has happened. The whole Sunnydale magical community is talking about it." Lindsey shuffled through his papers. "There has been a convergence of magical energy in Sunnydale. A big convergence."   
  
"Considering we live on a Hellmouth, is that so unexpected?" Mayor Wilkens steepled his fingers under his chin and pondered the issue.   
  
"Normally, no," Lindsey agreed. "However, this wasn't normal Hellmouth energy. Supposedly, this was something else."   
  
"What was it?"   
  
"That's where the reports differ. Some say it was divine. Some say darkest evil. Some say human in origin. Some say demon. My informant even mentioned the Powers. But there is one point on which all stories agree."   
  
"And that is..." The Mayor cocked an eyebrow.   
  
"It has to do with the Slayer."   
  
Mayor Wilkens smiled. "Does it indeed? That is very interesting to know, Lindsey. Thank you."   
  
"You're welcome," Lindsey replied. He wasn't used to such overt gestures of politeness, but The Mayor insisted on them. Lindsey stood up to leave.   
  
"One more thing, Lindsey."   
  
"Yes, sir?"   
  
"Call Lyanna for me. Tell her to put Phase One into effect. Tonight. We must take advantage of whatever this was, before the Slayer and her cohorts figure things out."   
  
"Yes, sir. I'll get right on that."   
  
"Thank you, Lindsey." The Mayor giggled. "This is going to be fun."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
LAX   
  
"You're right, Xander. Something has happened. Something unexpected."   
  
As Joyce paused in her explanation, Xander focused in on Buffy and really looked at her for the first time since he'd stepped off the plane. Sure, he'd looked at her before swooping her into that kiss, but he hadn't really *looked* at her. He'd been waiting for that first kiss for hours on the plane, and he'd been more focused on that than examining his girlfriend to make sure she was still... normal. It wasn't like one normally thought, "Gee, I hope my significant other is still herself today" -- not even on the Hellmouth. But, if he had been really looking, he realized now, he would have known something was off. It was obvious from her uncharacteristic outfit; to the stiff, brittle way she held herself; to the hard glint in her green eyes. But, even more, he'd felt it in the kiss. He had been so wrapped up in holding her and kissing her that he hadn't realized at first that she wasn't into it as well. She'd been so still, and then so harsh. Something was really, really wrong here. If he didn't know better, Xander would say Buffy didn't love him anymore. But he knew that couldn't be true. He'd just talked to her last night and everything had been normal... Had he said something to piss her off? Xander really hoped there were no druidic sorcerers involved this time!   
  
"This isn't our Buffy."   
  
Xander moved his gaze to Joyce uncomprehendingly. "Um... can you try that again? I don't think I heard you right. This isn't Buffy?"   
  
"I know it sounds weird," Joyce said, "but Buffy was helping Amy and the other girls with a spell last night and somehow it got mixed up. This Buffy was helping her friends with a spell as well. And... they got switched."   
  
"It's an alternate dimension thing," Buffy explained tersely. "We were sending Willow's evil doppelganger back to where she came from and when the chick tried to put the bite on Will I stopped her but ended up in the spell. Then I woke up here."   
  
"But..." Xander's mind was reeling, and he hadn't even stopped to contemplate the Willow part yet. "You... she... looks just the same." He glanced at her outfit again. "Mostly."   
  
"I talked to Aidan again this morning," Joyce said quietly. "He said it's kind of like astral projection. This Buffy and our Buffy... their souls, their essences were somehow switched. Not their physical bodies."   
  
For once in his life, Xander couldn't think of anything to say. He sank down on one of the plastic airport chairs and buried his head in his hands. Then he just sat there for a minute, trying to digest this news.   
  
Joyce sat down next to him and put her arm around his broad shoulders. "Don't worry, Xander. Aidan assured me that they were looking for a way to re-create the spell. He thinks it can be done."   
  
Xander turned his head and looked Joyce in the eyes. "We'll get her back?"   
  
"Yes."   
  
"I can't lose her."   
  
"Neither can I."   
  
The two exchanged a silent vow of solidarity, and in that moment Xander felt a surge of gladness. How many times had Joyce been there for him? It was impossible to count. He just knew that without her he wouldn't be able to do this.   
  
"I know," she whispered, pulling him into a hug. "But it's going to be OK. I know it will. We'll get her back."   
  
The moment was interrupted by Buffy clearing her throat. Joyce and Xander looked over at her, surprised. She stood with her arms crossed over the word "princess" on her baby-T.   
  
"Look, guys, I don't mean to be rude here. And... Xander, I'm... I'm sorry about before, but shouldn't we get back to Sunnydale? I know you guys want your Buffy back, and... honestly, I want to go home. Maybe we should go see this Aidan guy." 


	7. Chapter 7

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 7:   
  
Summers' Residence   
  
"No way!"   
  
"Yes way!"   
  
"You had a crush on a substitute teacher who turned out to be a huge insect that wanted virgins to fertilize her eggs before she cut off their heads?" Buffy could hardly keep a straight face. "That's just so... so..."   
  
"Typical of my love life." Xander heaved a huge sigh. "Bug women, mummies, and head cases."   
  
"You can't stop there," Buffy exclaimed. "You have to fill me in on the rest."   
  
Xander couldn't refuse her. She looked so happy. She'd smiled and laughed more this morning than she had since the switch had occurred. Xander liked it when she smiled. It made him happy, too. And listing to the stories she told about her life and her Xander... that felt good, too.   
  
"OK, well, the mummy was sucking people's life force so she could pose as a high school student. Of course, I fell for her. She was staying here as an exchange student."   
  
"In my house?"   
  
"Yup."   
  
"Ug."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Next?" Buffy cocked an eyebrow at Xander. "The head case."   
  
Xander's smile faltered for a second. It was still hard to talk about Cordelia. "Well, once I finally realized you were never going to like me *that* way, someone else came into my life. Someone almost normal... except for the fact that she didn't want to be seen with me. She liked me though. I think she even loved me for a while."   
  
"What was her name?"   
  
Xander hesitated.   
  
"Come on, tell me," Buffy urged. "Whoever it is, I promise I won't freak out." When he still hesitated, she added, "Come on! I told you about that stupid fight we... my Xander and I had last summer when I visited him in England. What could be worse than me freaking out because he went to buy me a present?"   
  
"Cordelia."   
  
Buffy opened her mouth, and nothing came out. Finally, she repeated, "Cordelia? Cordelia Chase? You were with Cordelia Chase?"   
  
"I take it you have one, too."   
  
"Yeah... she's... not a bad person. In fact, she and Oz helped us rid the Watchers Council of vampiric influences by taking some of my powers for a while, but... I just can't see the two of you together. My Xander kind of hates her. He was the treasurer of this club..."   
  
"Cordelia had Slayer powers?" Xander interrupted.   
  
Buffy shrugged. "Only for the afternoon. It was kind of a necessity. You, Sonya and Doyle had been kidnapped, and I had to do this test thing... there wasn't really anyone else to do it except them or my mom." She'd gotten a handle on her shock by this point. "You know, Xander, I guess I can see what you saw in her. She is beautiful, and I think she has a human core. Buried deeply, of course, but there. And it's obvious what she saw in you."   
  
"Is it?"   
  
"Well... I mean, you're... you. You're sweet and cute and loyal and helpful and strong and..." Buffy's voice trailed off.   
  
"Don't stop there!" Xander protested.   
  
Buffy smiled. "It's just... talking about this makes me miss him more." She glanced at the clock. "Mom and I were supposed to pick him up from the airport today. He was coming home to finish his Watcher training with Aidan in the field. We'd be driving home right about now."   
  
Xander still wasn't used to the idea of him as a Watcher, so he overlooked that part. Instead he stood up and walked over to Buffy. Then he enfolded her in a comforting hug. "Don't worry, Buffy. We'll find a way to get you back there. You two should be together. And, until then, you have me. I... I'll be here for you whenever you need me. I promise."   
  
"Thanks. That means a lot to me," Buffy whispered, returning his hug. After a moment, she forced herself to pull away. After all, this wasn't *her* Xander, even if they wore the same cologne. "So... if you and Cordelia were so in love, how come you broke up?"   
  
Xander blanched. "Um... maybe I should tell you about the bug woman again..."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
A Hidden Lair   
  
A phone seemed out of place in the cavernous, underground room. Stone walls covered with tapestries muffled the ringing noise, as did the billowing, gauzy curtains around the canopied bed. A languid hand reached out beyond the curtains and plucked the state-of-the-art cellular phone from the nightstand.   
  
"Yes?" Her voice rippled around the room with voluminous power.   
  
"Lyanna, it's Lindsey McDonald. I'm calling for Mayor Wilkens."   
  
The lithe, blonde vampire in a white, silk nightgown reclined gently against her fluffy, white, goosedown pillows. "Yes, Mr. McDonald?"   
  
"The Mayor wanted me to inform you that recent signs point to the perfect time to begin Phase One."   
  
"Signs?"   
  
"There has been a convergence of power in Sunnydale, and it seems to be centered around the Slayer."   
  
Lyanna laughed. "Lovely."   
  
Lindsey cleared his throat. "If you don't mind my asking... what exactly is Phase One?"   
  
Her laugh tinkled around the room again. "The death of the Slayer, of course."   
  
"Of course." Lindsey was silent for a moment, then he asked, "I assume you know the identity of the Slayer..."   
  
"My children discovered that moons ago, Mr. McDonald."   
  
"Ah, yes. Well..."   
  
"Did The Mayor have any further messages?" Lyanna's beautiful, resonant voice took on a sharp tone.   
  
"No, ma'am."   
  
Lyanna clicked a button on the phone and cut him off before he could utter another word. She remained in her supine position for a few lucious moments, glorying in her eventual triumph. Then she reached out toward the nightstand and traded the phone for a large, silver handbell. Before the tones had finished echoing through the room, the door burst open and a slavering, feral vampire with a permanently ridged face and golden eyes scurried into the room.   
  
"Ah, Jaques," Lyanna whispered. "Come, I must tell you something."   
  
Jaques moved closer to the bed. He whimpered with pleasure when Lyanna ran her long, white fingers through his greasy, dark hair.   
  
"My pet, I have a secret for you. The time is coming. Soon we will make our move upon the Slayer. And when we succeed in draining her dry, even Mayor Wilkens won't be able to stand against us."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
On the Road   
  
Buffy sat in the front seat of her mother's van (When had she gotten a *van*? The Explorer had been much more hip...) staring out the window at the passing cars. Xander was behind her, and every time she moved she could feel him watching her. She didn't know if it was reality, or if recent events had put her imagination into overdrive. Buffy couldn't decide whether to apologize for not being the Buffy Xander and Joyce wanted her to be, or to get angry at them for not understanding what she was going through.   
  
For her part, Joyce could sense the tension in the car, and just didn't know how to alleviate it. She was hurting herself, wondering where her baby was and what was happening to her. But she also hurt for Xander, who found himself suddenly alone, and Joyce also felt for Buffy. Buffy was still, in some part, Joyce's daughter, and nothing would ever change that, not even the big switch-a-roo. And, another thought kept popping into Joyce's mind. If Joyce felt anxiety, worry, and loss for her baby, there was another mother out there in the cosmos feeling the exact same way.   
  
In the back seat, Xander felt like if anyone looked at him or spoke to him, he would explode into a million angst-ridden pieces. His eyes locked on the back of the seat in front of him, trying to will Buffy to look at him. But he didn't know what he would do if she did, so the logical part of his mind realized he was lucky that she refused to look at him. He still couldn't get his mind around the concept that his Buffy was gone, and another Buffy was in the body he knew so intimately. It just didn't seem possible. But it had happened. Right now, Xander was living for the moment in which Aidan and Jenny said they'd found a way to reverse the switch...   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Oz's Van   
  
"Do you think this is really a good idea?"   
  
"I think you need to see her."   
  
"But... what if she still doesn't remember me? I'm her best friend. I just can't believe this is happening..."   
  
"Willow!" Oz turned his eyes from the road for a brief instant, just long enough to give his girlfriend a stern, yet loving look. The color of his eyes stood out against the new midnight black of his hair. "If what Giles said is true, Buffy will need someone to help her. You can do that better than anybody."   
  
Willow tucked a strand of red hair behind an ear. "Yeah... she does have to keep up with the bad guys while she's here."   
  
"Don't worry. It will all work out."   
  
"It was just the way she looked at me, and that stuff she said... It... scared me a little."   
  
"Buffy is your friend. In any dimension. I'm sure she'll remember that."   
  
Willow sank down in the passenger seat until her feet touched the end of the floorboard. "I really hope you're right, Oz."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Oz's Van   
  
"This isn't going to work, Oz. I just know it."   
  
"You know you're the only one who can do this, Sonya."   
  
"I think Faith should do it. Or Angel. Psycho-Buffy and I really did not hit it off."   
  
Oz turned to give his girlfriend a stern, yet loving look. "Buffy is your friend. In any dimension. I'm sure she'll remember that."   
  
Sonya gave him a dirty look, but they both knew she didn't really mean it. "Thanks for the Hallmark moment there."   
  
Oz looked puzzled for a second. "It's weird. Suddenly that phrase just popped into my mind."   
  
With a laugh, Sonya said, "That's some cranium you've got there, Bubba."   
  
Oz couldn't help but laugh back. "Hey, I'm not taking that Bubba crap from you, babe."   
  
"Babe?" Sonya's eyebrows rose, and when Oz looked satisfied, she realized she given him just the reaction he wanted. Then she looked around to see them pulling into the Summers' driveway. He'd manage to distract her for almost the whole drive. She gave him a thankful look. Then she realized something. "They aren't here."   
  
Oz sat back in his seat. "We'll wait." 


	8. Chapter 8

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 8:   
  
Summers' Residence   
  
"You think I'm a jerk now, don't you?" Xander felt like hiding under the table after telling Buffy the truth about his break up with Cordelia. He'd always felt bad about what had happened between himself and Willow, but it had never been this hard to admit it before, at least not to someone who wasn't Cordelia. There was something on her face that he couldn't describe. But it wasn't good.   
  
Buffy shook her head slightly. "I don't have the right to say that."   
  
"How about if I give you the right to say it?" Xander suggested. "I still feel like a jerk for doing that to Cor."   
  
"If it had been the real thing, she would have found it in herself to forgive you," Buffy replied, quietly.   
  
Xander's eyes narrowed. "Why do I get the feeling that you've had personal experience with this." He groaned. "Don't tell me that I'm a cheat on your world, too!"   
  
"It wasn't your fault," Buffy hastened to assure him. "You... he... My Xander was under a brainwashing spell that made him in love with Sonya."   
  
"Too bad I didn't have that excuse here," Xander muttered. "Things might have worked out better. Now I'm alone. No Cordelia. No Willow. No nothing. Willow, at least, got Oz back."   
  
Buffy reached out and covered his hand with her own. "I... I can't condone what you did. I know how it feels to be the one cheated on, and it hurts like hell. But, you're not a bad person, Xander. I'm sure you'll find someone, the real someone here who was meant for you." She squeezed his fingers. "Besides, I think Cordelia and Willow are both crazy to let a great guy like you slip away."   
  
Xander blushed. "Th... thanks."   
  
Just then the doorbell rang, interrupting their conversation.   
  
"I wonder who that is?" Buffy said nervously as she got to her feet.   
  
"I'll get it," Xander said. "If it's someone you don't want to see, I'll run 'em off."   
  
"Always my knight in shining armor," Buffy replied with a smile as she followed him to the front door.   
  
Hearing about how Xander had cheated on Cordelia with Willow had been a shock to Buffy, but she was trying to deal with it. And she'd meant what she said to him. She still thought he was a good guy. Besides, Buffy told herself, who was she to pass any judgment on what this Xander had done? He'd been living in drastically different circumstances than her Xander. She couldn't begin to know him like she knew the Xander back on her world. The fact that it had been Willow Xander had kissed had also bothered Buffy. Maybe more than it should have, but Buffy just couldn't get the picture of Spike's paramour -- the vampire queen who'd tried to kill them all, including her vampire lover -- out of her mind. Willow had always given Buffy the creeps. Probably because the effect Xander's childhood friend had always had on him.   
  
Buffy snapped out of her thoughts and back into reality when Xander opened the door. The voice Buffy heard from outside made her shiver involuntarily.   
  
"Hey, Xander. Is Buffy here?"   
  
Xander opened the door wider and looked back at Buffy. Buffy had a clear view of Willow standing there in the sunlight. Definitely not a vampire. Oz stood a few steps behind her. Buffy felt a smile spread across her lips at the sight of Oz. But the dark hair was a dramatic reminder that this was not her friend Oz. This was some strange, alternate Oz who was dating Willow, of all people.   
  
"Hey, Buffy? How do you feel?"   
  
Buffy's eyes moved over to Willow and she felt her face tighten. The girl didn't look evil, but Buffy couldn't help it. The sight of Willow was just unnerving.   
  
Willow stepped across the threshold, followed by Oz. Xander shut the door behind them.   
  
"Fine," Buffy replied, unable to meet Willow's eyes. The fact that she'd walked in without an invitation was more proof that the girl wasn't a vampire, but how was she supposed to relate to someone in this world who, in her world, had been an enemy?   
  
There was an awkward silence as the four teenagers stood in the entry hall. Finally, Xander suggested, "Let's go sit down in the living room."   
  
"Comfy," Oz replied approvingly. When the guys walked in that direction, the girls had no other choice but to follow or be left alone together. Xander plopped down in one chair, and Oz and Willow sat next to each other on the couch. Buffy perched uneasily on the edge of another chair.   
  
"So," Willow said when they were seated, "Giles filled us in on what happened."   
  
"OK," Buffy replied. "No explanations then."   
  
"Yeah," Xander agreed. "We've had enough of those this morning." He met Buffy's eyes, and immediately she felt a little more calm.   
  
Willow glanced from Xander to Buffy, a frown wrinkle creasing her forehead. "How come you're over here so early anyway, Xander?"   
  
He shrugged. "Buffy asked me to come fill her in on a few things, help her figure out what she needs to know while she's here."   
  
"Giles suggested I come over and do the same thing," Willow replied. "You know, on a patrolling level."   
  
"That's the man we all know and love," Xander said, shaking his head. "Focus on the work, not the personal stuff."   
  
"He's probably right," Buffy said. "I mean, I can't just stop patrolling because of all this."   
  
"Evil doesn't stop for our benefit," Willow chirped. "If you want, we can all go together tonight. Xander, Oz and I can show you some of the hotspots."   
  
Buffy sighed, suddenly starting to feel very lonely. She didn't know Willow at all, and she just couldn't bring herself to like her, though she wished she could. And Oz... he was just sitting there being silent. They hadn't had any friendly banter at all. Not that her Oz talked a lot, but today she and this Oz hadn't even exchanged a smile. And Xander... Buffy felt very comfortable with Xander, but all the time she had to hold on to the knowledge that he wasn't *her* Xander.   
  
"What's wrong?" Xander asked.   
  
"I was wondering," Buffy said. "Before we do the patrolling stuff, could someone take me to see Amy Madison? I... I need to talk to her." [The Amy on this world can't be *that* different from the Amy I know] Buffy thought. [And... it would be really good to talk to her right now. Really good.]   
  
A funny look flashed over Willow's face. "Um... Buffy..." Willow, Oz, and Xander exchanged glances.   
  
"What's wrong?" Buffy asked.   
  
"We should take her to see Amy," Oz said suddenly.   
  
"Yes, please take me," Buffy said, trying not to beg too much.   
  
Willow and Xander didn't look thrilled, but finally Willow agreed. "All right, Oz. Are we taking your van?"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Faith's Apartment   
  
Faith still couldn't believe her luck. Killing that guy had been the best thing that had ever happened to her. Now she had this great place, and a great guy to buy things for her. Well, not a "guy" in that sense of the word. He'd made it perfectly clear that sex wasn't an option between them. But he'd gotten her this place, and it was so beautiful. Better than the sucky motel where she'd been living! Even better than Saint Buffy's All-American house. For the first time in a long time, Faith finally felt like she had a home. And she had The Mayor to thank for it.   
  
"I brought cookies!" Mayor Wilkens stood in her kitchenette with a plate of delicious-smelling cookies in one hand.   
  
"Yum," Faith said in spite of herself. She didn't usually like sweet stuff, but those seemed extra-good. She took one and bit into it, letting the chocolate chips melt on her tongue.   
  
"So, how's my girl doing today?" The Mayor asked with a smile just for Faith. "Do you like your new place?"   
  
"I love it here," Faith answered honestly.   
  
"Good," he replied. "You deserve it."   
  
After finishing her cookie, she asked, "So, what brings you down here, Mayor? I'm sure it wasn't just for a cookie break..."   
  
"No," he answered. "But I do have some exciting news for you, though. Remember that matter we discussed yesterday?"   
  
"Turning Angel back into Angelus?"   
  
"Yes, indeed! I've called in a favor or two, and I think we've got a foolproof method. Unless, of course..."   
  
A lascivious smile curved her lips. "Unless I succeed in boffing the soul out of him myself."   
  
"Yes." He smiled in return. "Unless you succeed in that."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Summers' Front Lawn   
  
"I think they're here."   
  
Sonya groaned and buried her face into her boyfriend's shoulder. "Let's just stay here and keep kissing. It would be much more fun."   
  
Oz smiled. "Granted. But you've got work to do."   
  
"All right." Sonya sighed, and then gave her reflection a quick glance in the rearview mirror. Once she smoothed her hair down into some semblance of order, she looked normal. "Ready?"   
  
"I'm right behind you."   
  
Sonya took a deep breath and then exited the van. She reached the driveway just as Buffy, Joyce and Xander were getting out of the van.   
  
"Harris!" Sonya yelled, and ran to give her best friend a big hug. "You're really back!"   
  
Xander returned the hug just as tightly. "Hey, Parker. It's good to see that some things haven't changed."   
  
Sonya squeezed him a little harder, trying to comfort her friend. "Don't worry. We'll make this right."   
  
"That's what people keep telling me." His whisper was hoarse.   
  
"Have I ever lied to you?" She stepped back a little and gave him an arch look.   
  
That made him chuckle. "You don't really want to ask me that, do you?"   
  
They both laughed a little, mostly just enjoying the fact that they could talk about the past now without so many harsh feelings muddling everything up.   
  
"Xander."   
  
Xander reached out and gave Oz a hearty handshake. "Oz. Good to see you, man."   
  
"Likewise."   
  
A door slammed behind them, and Sonya, Oz and Xander turned to look at Buffy. Her glanced passed right over them, and then she turned toward the house. "I'll be in my room."   
  
Oz touched Sonya on the shoulder. "I know," she hissed. "I'm working up to it."   
  
Finally, realizing that it wasn't going to get any easier, Sonya followed Buffy up the front steps and into the house. She could hear the others following them, but she didn't focus on that. Instead she kept all of her focus on the blonde Slayer. "Buffy."   
  
The Slayer turned. "What?"   
  
"Aidan wanted me to come over here and fill you in on stuff for tonight."   
  
Buffy's eyes narrowed. "What stuff? Is there some apocalypse going on that I don't know about? That would be just my luck."   
  
"No, but there is patrol, and we've got some things we're investigating. Aidan wanted me to fill you in."   
  
"It's OK," Buffy interrupted. "I've been patrolling Sunnydale for almost three years. I don't think I need anyone to show me where the danger spots are. It can't have changed that much. Graveyards, playgrounds, the Bronze..."   
  
"Well, actually," Sonya said, doing her best not to sound smug, "things are somewhat different. Graveyards and playgrounds, definitely on the list, but we don't have a Bronze anymore. It burned down over a year ago. We've got some other areas, though..."   
  
Buffy had looked taken aback for an instant at the news about the Bronze, but she quickly recovered her attitude. "Don't worry. I can handle it. I'm used to doing things on my own."   
  
Sonya glared at Buffy. She couldn't stop herself. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned her head to see Oz standing there. Meeting his eyes, Sonya took a breath to calm down, then she said, "Look, Buffy, I don't know how things worked where you're from, but here we have a schedule. We all help patrol, and it makes things easier on everyone. Aidan asked me to come fill you in on your part of the schedule."   
  
Buffy was speechless for the moment.   
  
Turning to Xander, Sonya added, "And he said, if you're ready, you can go on patrol tonight as well."   
  
Xander nodded. "I'm more than ready. I haven't been on a good patrol since I left Sunnydale."   
  
"Are you crazy?" Buffy burst out. "You're... you're normal, Xander! You're human. You don't have special skills. Sure, you can help, and you're even good at it sometimes, but you're also vulnerable."   
  
Xander frowned at Buffy, and she actually stopped talking. "Giles trained me to fight, Buffy. I know you don't remember all this, but when Sonya was paralyzed, Angel and I were the only people who could help with patrolling. Granted, I don't have super strength or anything, but I can hold my own against more types of creepy-crawly than you might think."   
  
"And now he's a trained graduate of the Watcher's Academy," Sonya added, pride evident in her voice. "If anyone is skilled enough to go on patrol, it's him."   
  
Buffy looked from one to the other in surprise. It took a while for all that information to sink in. "OK," she finally said, "I'm sorry that I don't know what's going on here, but where I'm from... let's just say that I have people to help me, but when it comes to the actual rough stuff, I have to be in charge. I don't know if I'm going to fit in well with your schedules."   
  
"Do you think you can try?" Xander asked point blank.   
  
She hesitated for a moment, and then said, "I'll try. But right now, I need a break from all this. I... I can't handle all of you looking at me and not seeing what you want to see." With that, Buffy turned and fled up the stairs toward her room.   
  
Joyce chose that moment to walk in from the kitchen. "Lunch is ready. Come and get it, kids!"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Willow's House   
  
The van ride had been eerily silent. Buffy didn't know how to break the silence, and part of her was glad not to. It was nice not to have to talk for a while. Quiet time could be a very good thing, especially when one's universe was all screwy.   
  
When Oz pulled the van to a stop, Buffy looked out the window in surprise. "Amy moved?" Buffy asked. "Strange. That house had been in her family so long..."   
  
"This is my house, Buffy," Willow said.   
  
Buffy gave Willow a confused look. "Why did you bring me here?"   
  
"You'll... you'll see." Willow looked nervous, and, as usual when she was nervous, she began to bound with nervous energy. She hopped out of the van and headed for the front door at a quick clip.   
  
As Buffy slid out of the backseat, she patted the van on its side and said, "Thanks for the ride, Shelia."   
  
Oz, who'd just come around the back of the van, looked at Buffy in surprise. "How did you know her name was Shelia?"   
  
Buffy smiled a little sadly. "Back home, my home, you and I are really good friends."   
  
"Hmmm," was Oz's response, but a thoughtful look had entered his eyes.   
  
"Come on!" Willow called from the front porch. "My parents will be home in a little while. We should do this before they get here."   
  
Buffy frowned and headed up the sidewalk to the front door. She chuckled a little when she heard Xander behind her say, "You named your van SHELIA?"   
  
Once inside the house, Buffy followed Willow back to her bedroom.   
  
"I really don't understand what we're doing here," Buffy said as she followed Willow into the bedroom. It was a pretty typical bedroom for a teenaged girl. There were a lot of books around and a computer, a bed and some posters on the walls. There was a fish tank in one corner, but it was empty. In the other corner was a cage. In the cage was a furry, brown mouse.   
  
Buffy stepped over to peer inside the aquarium. "What happened to your fish?"   
  
Willow bit her lip and glanced at Xander and Oz who had just walked in the door. "Angelus killed them."   
  
"Angelus?" Buffy was confused. "Isn't that...?"   
  
"Angel," Xander told her. "Angel had a moment of pure happiness with you, and it cost him his soul. He tried to kill us all."   
  
Buffy's mouth opened and shut several times before she could say anything. Skipping over the fact that somehow it was her double's fault, she said, "He never told me that could happen..."   
  
"No one knew until it actually happened," Xander replied, bitterness not completely hidden in his voice. "But Willow was able to do a spell and get his soul back." He decided to leave out the part about Acathla and Hell for now. It was too long a story, and that wasn't why they were here anyway.   
  
"Willow can do magic?" Buffy asked Xander.   
  
"I'm working on it," Willow said, a little pride evident in her tone. "I can do lots of stuff, more every day."   
  
Buffy turned to Willow. "Did you bring me here to tell me this? What about Amy?"   
  
"Oh, you're upset. That's not good." Willow clasped her hands nervously in front of her body. "Um... I guess I might as well just do this. It's not going to get any better."   
  
"Do what?" Buffy growled. This was all getting to be too much for her.   
  
Willow looked faintly scared, but she stood her ground. "Um, Buffy... this is Amy." Willow pointed to the mouse cage.   
  
"What?" Buffy felt tears well up in her eyes and overflow. It was just one thing too many. She couldn't take it. Going down on her knees in front of the mouse cage, Buffy began to sob as if her heart would break. "No! No. No..."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summers' House   
  
"Do you think we should go talk to her?" Sonya asked Xander, Oz, and Joyce.   
  
"Maybe she needs time alone," Oz suggested.   
  
"I'll go see if she wants any lunch," Joyce decided. "Maybe she'll tell me what's bothering her."   
  
"Oh, she made no secret of that," Sonya grumbled, but she stopped when Oz glanced at her reproachfully.   
  
Before Joyce could go, though, Xander reached out and touched her arm. "Do you mind if I go?"   
  
"Really?" Joyce was surprised. But maybe it would be a good thing. "Go ahead."   
  
"Thanks."   
  
Xander took a deep breath and then headed for the stairs. He'd climbed those stairs hundreds of times before, but this time they didn't seem nearly long enough. [Why am I doing this?] he asked himself as he climbed. [It's not like she cares about you at all.] But that didn't matter. What mattered was that, no matter what, she was still Buffy, and she was hurting. Xander had to try and help.   
  
When he reached her bedroom door, Xander knocked softly. "Buffy?"   
  
He heard something thump, but she didn't invite him in.   
  
"Look," Xander said, "I know this is hard. Believe me. It's hard for me, too. It's hard for all of us. I just wondered if there was anything I could do to help you..."   
  
He almost fell in when the door he'd been leaning against opened. It took some dramatic arm flailing, but Xander managed to stay on his feet.   
  
"That's more like the Xander I know."   
  
He looked up to see Buffy standing there staring at him. "So, the Xander in your dimension is a klutz?"   
  
"Sometimes." Buffy smiled softly. "And he's a blabbermouth. But he's funny, too. He can always make me laugh." She turned and went to sit on the edge of her bed.   
  
Xander took that as an invitation, and entered the room. He paced around the room, glancing at all the familiar items. Presents he'd bought Buffy, pictures of them, dried flowers she'd preserved from the bouquet he'd sent on her last birthday... To distract himself, he finally said, "So, you and your Xander are just friends?"   
  
"Definitely just friends!" She watched him for a minute, and then added, "Don't get me wrong. He's a really good guy. I'd trust him with my life, but... we just never clicked like that."   
  
Xander's smile didn't reach his eyes. "It's hard for me to imagine not loving you in any dimension, under any circumstances."   
  
Buffy looked away, embarrassed.   
  
"What?" He walked over and knelt in front of her.   
  
"He, uh, he liked me that way from the beginning. I... I don't think he does anymore, but he did."   
  
"There was someone else, wasn't there?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Tell me who."   
  
She looked up, surprised at the firm tone in his voice. "You don't want..."   
  
"I do."   
  
"Angel."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Angel's Apartment   
  
The lights were off, keeping the whole apartment blanketed in a dusky aura. Only the tiny, diffused glow from beyond the sturdy window shades illuminated the place. Angel pulled Faith closer, enjoying the feel of her warm body next to his skin. He tightened his arms around her waist, and she shifted provocatively against him.   
  
"So soon?" Angel asked, unable to keep a smile from his lips.   
  
Faith turned toward him, a wicked gleam in her deep, brown eyes. "I figured, as long as we're here..."   
  
Angel liked the way his crimson bedspread set off the warmth of Faith's coloring. It was like the color had been made for her. A fairer girl would have looked washed out against it. Angel had an eye for beautiful things. Darla had taught him that, at least.   
  
Then Faith crushed her lips to his, and Angel could do nothing else but respond. Her touch opened doors deep inside him that had been closed for so long. When they were together, sometimes Angel felt almost free. Never completely free. There was always guilt. And if there wasn't omnipresent old guilt in the back of his mind, there was his new guilt. Guilt that he could never love her the way she deserved to be loved, coupled with guilt that he loved her too much, a fact that conflicted with a vow he'd made a long time ago, before the dark-haired beauty had entered his life.   
  
A long time later, they lay spent, again, cuddled under the blankets. It had taken a long time for Angel to get Faith comfortable enough to stay after they found their pleasure in each other. Intimacy freaked her out.   
  
Her head rested on his chest, spilling dark hair over his pale skin. Her eyes were closed and her breathing even.   
  
Taking a deep breath, Angel whispered, "I think I love you, Faith."   
  
Her eyes snapped open and she sat up straight. "What?" The covers pooled at her waist.   
  
"You're awake." His tone wasn't quite accusatory. "I thought you were asleep."   
  
"Obviously. Now, what did you mean by that?"   
  
Realizing that he couldn't take it back, Angel said, "It's true, Faith. It snuck up on me, but I think I love you."   
  
Faith glared at him, and got out of the bed. She began dressing as fast as she could find her scattered garments.   
  
"You don't feel the same way," Angel said quietly.   
  
As she shoved her feet into her black boots, Faith said, "I didn't sign on for love."   
  
Angel shrugged into his black, silk robe and stood up. "What do you mean?" When she didn't answer, Angel grabbed her arm and forced her to stop messing with the buttons on her shirt. "Stay here and talk to me, damn it!"   
  
Faith pulled her arm out of his grip and snarled, "Love is for pansies and losers." She turned toward the door, oblivious to any more buttons. When she got to the door, she turned back and gave Angel one last glare. "You had to go and ruin this, didn't you."   
  
Angel sighed, and she left, slamming the door behind her. He wanted to go after her, but she knew he couldn't. Not for several hours yet. Faith had run again, and he was stuck here alone.   
  
"And the pattern repeats itself," he whispered. "Again." 


	9. Chapter 9

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 9:   
  
Willow's House   
  
It was all too much. Buffy couldn't stop the tears from flowing as she watched the little, brown rat run cheerfully around and around in his wire, hamster wheel. For a split-second, she'd tried to deny that it was true, but how could she do that? This world was a wrong, crazy, freaked-out place, so of course her best friend was rat!   
  
"Buffy?"   
  
A light touch on her shoulder caused Buffy to look up. Willow stared down, concerned.   
  
"How long has she been like this?" Buffy asked with a sniffle.   
  
Willow glanced back at Oz uncertainly. "Two months?"   
  
Oz nodded. "About that."   
  
Something clicked in Buffy's mind, and her tears stopped. "You're a witch, Willow? Like Amy?"   
  
Willow nodded. "Yeah, I'm working on it."   
  
"Willow has done some pretty advanced stuff," Xander offered helpfully.   
  
Buffy reached up and grabbed the collar of Willow's shirt and growled, "If you're a witch, then why haven't you been able to reverse the spell?"   
  
With wide eyes, Willow clutched at Buffy's hand. "I... I've tried. I couldn't find the counter spell, and Giles has been so busy with the Mayor stuff..."   
  
"I... I tried. I'm not good enough to do it alone."   
  
"Then why didn't you get help?"   
  
"Giles, all of us... we've all been busy with the whole Mayor thing. And Faith. And... lots of stuff." Willow's voice rose to a squeak as Buffy clutched harder.   
  
Buffy's hand clenched tighter. "So, because you don't know the spell, you just let her stay like that? You didn't go to the magic shop and ask for help from another witch or anything?"   
  
"Buffy?" Xander moved closer to the two girls, followed by Oz.   
  
The Slayer glared at them both. "Don't. This is between me and her." She turned back to Willow.   
  
"I... I should have," Willow admitted. "I just... I thought I could figure it out alone, without help."   
  
Something snapped inside Buffy. She let go of Willow's collar and pulled back her fist. Her only thought was to smash it through Willow's selfish face.   
  
"Buffy!" Hands grabbed her arm before she could go through with the action. They were Xander's. On the other side, Oz pulled Willow away from Buffy and put himself between them. Buffy could have followed through with the punch despite their grips, but clarity began to sink in again. She'd just been about to use her powers against a human. A human who, in this bizarre reality, was supposed to be her friend. Buffy yanked her arm out of Xander's grasp and fled from the room.   
  
Silence reigned for a moment, and then Xander said, "I'll go after her." He ran out of the room as well.   
  
Willow and Oz looked at each other. Willow's face was mottled with silent tears. "Do you think she was right?"   
  
"To attack you, no."   
  
"But what about the rest? Maybe I should have done more. I... maybe I was being egotistical in not getting help with this because if I couldn't turn her back myself, then I thought subconsciously that she was a better witch than me because she can do it alone... when she's not in rat form, anyway."   
  
Oz enfolded Willow into a hug. "All I know, Will, is that what matters is what you do now."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summer's Residence   
  
"Angel?" Xander couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You... and Angel?"   
  
Buffy nodded.   
  
"You fell in love with a vampire?"   
  
Her eyes narrowed. "I didn't know he was a vampire when I fell in love with him. He was this mysterious stranger who always showed up to rescue me when I needed help. He also showed up to give me warnings about vampire activity in town."   
  
Xander's whole world had just been spun again. Intellectually, he knew that what this Buffy had done in her life was really none of his concern, but in a way this was one of his secret nightmares. While he was in the hospital after Sonya had thrown him into a wall -- after the Nathan mystery had been solved and dealt with -- Angel had admitted to having feelings for Buffy. It had taken Xander and Buffy a long time to heal the breach Nathan's spell (and Xander's subsequent involvement with Sonya) had caused, and in that time, Xander had been afraid she might turn to his best friend for comfort. It hadn't happened. In fact, Xander had hardly even seen Angel and Buffy exchange more than a few sentences at a time, but that didn't mean he hadn't thought about it.   
  
"What... what happened with your Xander and Angel?" Xander choked out.   
  
"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, confused. "You've... they've never gotten along. Ever." When she saw Xander's expression, she asked, "Is that different here, too?"   
  
"Yeah. Angel and I... we've been through thick and thin together. He's like a brother to me, almost."   
  
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. "Weird."   
  
Xander slumped down so he was sitting on the floor and leaning with his back against her bed. His head was at Buffy's knee-level. "I'm glad I'm not the one who got switched. Your world must really suck."   
  
"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed. "Who are you to question me or my life?"   
  
"Apparently nobody."   
  
They sat in silence for a minute. What more was there to say, really? Finally, Xander hauled himself to his feet and headed for the door.   
  
"Where are you going?"   
  
"Somewhere that's else." He opened the door.   
  
"Xander? For what it's worth, as my friend you do have the right to question me. I've never really said this, but even though you really piss me off sometimes, later I appreciate that you're willing to stand up to me. Not many people are willing to incur a Slayer's wrath."   
  
Shaking his head, he said, "You may respect that about your Xander, but the real question is, do you ever listen to him." He sighed. "I've got to go check in with Aidan. Bye."   
  
When he got downstairs, Joyce, Sonya, and Oz were eating lunch.   
  
"Hungry?" Joyce asked him, holding out a plate. "I made your favorite sandwich. Salami and Swiss."   
  
"Thanks, Joyce, but I'm not really hungry right now."   
  
Sonya's glance went from Xander's depressed expression to the door that led to the stairway. "What did psycho-Buffy do to you? I oughta kick her sorry behind right..."   
  
"No!" Xander interrupted. "It's not her fault."   
  
"Then what happened?"   
  
"I don't want to talk about it. I've got to go see Aidan, so I'll see you guys later."   
  
Joyce followed Xander into the entry hall. Before he could leave, she touched his arm. Then she folded him into a hug. "Where are you going to stay tonight? You don't have a car anymore either, do you?"   
  
Xander returned the hug gratefully. "Don't worry, Joyce. I've got it covered. The Council is sending me a great allowance. I'll be able to rent an apartment, and my Uncle Rory will probably be able to find me a good deal on a car."   
  
She let him go and said, "Well, if you need anything, let me know. I'm not about to let one of my kids go hungry or homeless or anything else. You can even borrow the van if you need to."   
  
Xander smiled his first smile in a long while. "You really think of me as one of your kids?"   
  
Joyce nodded. "You're all my kids. Sonya, Oz, Amy, Doyle... even Aidan and Cordelia, to an extent. But especially you, Xander."   
  
He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "That's really good to hear. My relationship with my mom, well, nonexistent pretty much sums it up."   
  
"You can come to me anytime, Xander. Remember that."   
  
"I will."   
  
Joyce ruffled his hair a little, and then let him go. Xander went out the front door, waved to Joyce, and then made his way out into the bright, Sunnydale afternoon.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Chase Mansion   
  
Cordelia was alone in the house again. Her father was on one of his many business trips -- he spent more time abroad than he did at home these days -- and her mother was... Cordelia honestly couldn't remember where her mother was. At some spa, on a weeklong jaunt with her horrid friends, or on her way to some charity thing in New York or San Francisco, probably. Saturday loomed long and empty before her. She was tired, but she couldn't sleep. Something about this whole Buffy-switch thing had really wigged her out. She'd hardly gotten a wink of sleep the night before.   
  
She found herself on the bench in front of the Chase's grand piano. It lived in a corner of the parlor, and was seldom used. Cordelia lifted the lid and her fingers found their place on the keyboard surprisingly easily. She hadn't practiced in years -- not since giving up her weekly piano lessons -- but she still remembered a few things. Her fingers caressed the keys -- plastic, not ivory, but that was OK -- and soft notes emerged to fill the room. A song that she used to love slowly began to come back to her. Her fingers moved faster and with more determination as she remembered the song clearly. She could feel the highs and lows of the music the way she always did. And when she messed up and missed a note, it didn't matter. The music forgave. She didn't have to be perfect, especially when no one else was around to hear. She felt herself become carried away on the notes to some other place.   
  
A place without vampires and demons and magic spells with bad consequences. Cordelia had given up the piano because it wasn't "cool" to have to practice an instrument ever day, but sometimes, deep in her core, she really regretted the decision.   
  
"Tha's beautiful, lass. What's is called?"   
  
Cordelia jumped at the unexpected voice and turned around angrily to see Doyle standing in the parlor. "What are you doing here?"   
  
He shrugged. "I came ta see if ye needed any more help with that pesky chemistry chapter. Yer maid let me in."   
  
"I'll have to speak with her about announcing guests!"   
  
Doyle's smile vanished for an instant, but he quickly found it again. "If ye want me ta go, lass, just say the word."   
  
Cordelia sighed. "You don't have to go. But I'm not doing any chemistry today. My brain just can't hold anymore formulas right now."   
  
"What do ye want ta do then?"   
  
"You in the mood for a movie?" Seconds after she uttered the words, Cordelia didn't know what had possessed her, but they were out there and, to her surprise, she found that she didn't completely want to take them back.   
  
For his part, Doyle took the invitation in stride, even though part of him wanted to jump up and down and whoop and holler. What he actually said was, "A movie sounds good. There's a retro showin' of 'An Affair to Remember' at the theater downtown. Sonya told me about it yesterday."   
  
"The old version, not the remake, right?" Cordelia questioned.   
  
"Right."   
  
She stood up and headed for the entry hall. Doyle followed her. "That sounds actually OK, but, if we see anyone I know, we're *not* together."   
  
"Aye, lass. Whatever ye say."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets of Sunnydale   
  
After almost punching Willow in the face, Buffy couldn't get out of there fast enough. She ran down the stairs and out of Willow's house. She passed Shelia without a second glance, and poured all of her extra strength into running. The pavement pounded under her boots as if there'd never been a time when she couldn't do this. She ran until her heart pounded from exertion rather than anger and guilt. She ran until, suddenly, she stopped. Buffy found herself in a playground. No kids were around, even though it was a beautiful, sunny Saturday. She recognized this park. It was one of the regular spots on Aidan's patrol charts. Usually it was night when she was here, but it didn't look too different, even in this dimension.   
  
Buffy took a couple of deep breaths, then walked over to the swing set. She sat down in one of the rubber seats and began to pump her legs back and forth. The swing started to move. Buffy could feel the wind in her hair. She closed her eyes, and let her mind drift.   
  
[Xander?] It was like he was there in front of her. She could see him there in his Watchers suit, the jacket slung over his shoulder. [Oh, Xander! I need you!]   
  
[I'm here, Buffy.]   
  
[I've been so alone here.]   
  
[You're not alone now.]   
  
He wanted toward her and began to push her swing. [I'll always be here for you. All you have to do is look. I love you.]   
  
[I love you, too! Oh, Xander...]   
  
"Buffy."   
  
She opened her eyes and saw Xander standing in front of her moving swing, just far away enough not to be hit. But he was wearing a baggy T-shirt and jeans, not a suit. She closed her eyes again, clinging to the fantasy, but it wasn't real. She opened her eyes again and slowed the swing by dragging her feet on the ground. It kicked up a cloud of dust. Xander coughed.   
  
"Sorry," she muttered.   
  
When the cloud of dust died down, Xander sat down on the swing next to her and moved it back and forth with a sneaker-clad toe. "No biggie. You run fast, you know that?"   
  
"It's in the genes," Buffy replied. "How did you find me, anyway?" She knew he couldn't keep up with her. Even her Xander, with tons more training time under his belt, couldn't keep up with her when she ran full tilt.   
  
"Somehow, I just knew you would be here. I don't know how." Xander shrugged. "Feminine intuition? As in, intuition about someone who's feminine."   
  
That got a small smile out of Buffy.   
  
He noticed. "Good. That's better. Now, Buffy, can I ask what happened back there? That... that didn't seem like you to try and use your powers on someone who can't defend against them. I know I haven't known you that long, but it wasn't right."   
  
Buffy sighed deeply. "I'm going to have to apologize to Willow, huh?"   
  
"That might be to the good."   
  
She rolled her eyes. "Ug. I really don't like her."   
  
"Why not?" Xander asked, genuinely puzzled.   
  
"She just gets under my skin," Buffy admitted. "I guess it's because on my world I knew her as this evil, manipulative vamp queen. She turned on *everybody* and tried to kill all of us. It was pretty bad. She used to torture Xander. He couldn't bring himself to kill her because she had the face of his childhood friend. And then I get here, and she's alive, and she's part of the gang, and she let Amy stay a rat for two months when all she had to do was ask someone more experienced for help... I just snapped."   
  
Xander reached out and put his hand on Buffy's shoulder. She shivered at the feeling that was familiar and yet unfamiliar.   
  
"Willow's not evil," Xander told Buffy. "She's a good person with a good heart. She's not perfect, but I don't think she was keeping Amy a rat on purpose. Willow is just not like that."   
  
"I'll apologize to her," Buffy said softly.   
  
"Thanks." For some reason, Xander didn't want to move his hand away. Buffy looked up and he could see his face reflected in her beautiful eyes. Repressed tears only made her eyes sparkle more. Xander cleared his throat and quickly dropped his hand. "So... do you want to go home?"   
  
Buffy licked her lips, and then began to pump her swing again. "Let's stay here. Just for a little while?"   
  
Xander smiled. "OK." He began to pump his swing as well, and soon they were racing to see who could reach the sky first. 


	10. Chapter 10

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 10:   
  
Aidan's House   
  
The research party had lasted well into the night before Aidan finally sent them all home and/or to bed. Then he'd logged several more hours to the cause before drifting off on top of an ancient tome with several vague references to dimensional portals. He'd roused early, and given Sonya and Oz their mission. Then he'd gone straight back into research mode.   
  
A knock on his door in the middle of the afternoon made him jump. "Yes?"   
  
"Hey." Rio walked in holding a plate and a steaming mug. "I thought you might need this."   
  
Aidan found a rather sad looking sandwich (bologna and wilted lettuce) and a pile of chips on the plate and hot water with one of those coffee tea bag things submerged in it.   
  
Rio shrugged and set them down on Aidan's desk. "I would have let someone else be on food detail, but there's no one else here."   
  
Aidan smiled at the boy, grateful that he'd at least tried. "Thank you."   
  
Rio waved off the thanks. "So, how's it going?"   
  
"Slowly," Aidan admitted. "Much too slowly, in my opinion."   
  
"Can I help?"   
  
"No training today?"   
  
"Jenny's researching as well. She called and cancelled."   
  
"Ah." Aidan thought for a minute. "Well then, why don't you call her for me. Ask her to bring her materials over here, and then come back and help me. Research in a group is bound to be better. We can all bounce ideas off of each other."   
  
"Right," Rio agreed, turning toward the door. "I'll be back then."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summer's Residence   
  
Buffy just wanted to go home. All she wanted was to be in the library again with Giles, Willow, Oz, and her Xander. And Angel. Her Angel. This place was too hard and too different. She had to be hard and unbending. If she didn't, she would just start crying, and Buffy hated to cry. Sometimes she cried anyway, but she hated to do it. And the memory of this Xander's face when she'd told him about Angel. For some reason, that made her want to cry, too. He didn't have any right to make her feel that way.   
  
She sighed. It was still too early to find vampires. They wouldn't be out until the afternoon sun had set. The Slayer inside her craved that moment. It really needed to bestow a good beating on someone who deserved it. Buffy craved the release, as well. Desperately.   
  
Hoping to avoid these thoughts that were getting her nowhere, Buffy closed her eyes and willed herself to go to sleep.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Park   
  
"Feel better now?" Xander gave Buffy his most engaging grin as their swings passed each other.   
  
"Yeah!" Buffy called back. The wind blew through her hair, sending it behind her like a banner as she pumped her swing back and forth for all she was worth.   
  
"Good," Xander replied, "'Cause I'm pooped." He dropped his feet and drug them against the dirt to slow his swing. The dirt was loose from many kids over the years doing that exact same thing. A cloud of dust rose up, and Xander started to cough.   
  
To avoid the dust, Buffy jumped out of her swing, something she hadn't done in years, since before she got her powers. With her momentum, Buffy was able to tuck her knees up and turn the jump into a flip. She landed easily.   
  
Xander looked up at her from his position on the dusty swing. "Wow. Neat trick."   
  
Buffy blushed a little. "I wasn't trying to show off."   
  
"I know." Xander stood up. "It was cool, though."   
  
"Well, thanks."   
  
"So, what do you want to do now? I've got the whole afternoon to be at your disposal." Xander scuffed his foot against the loose dirt and peeked up at Buffy.   
  
She pondered his question. "Whatever we do, can it just be us? No Willow, no Giles, nothing painful like that?"   
  
"Sure. In fact, I think I know just the place to take your mind off of everything. You game?"   
  
Buffy grinned. "Sounds great."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Out and About   
  
Xander cruised slowly down the streets of Sunnydale in the almost-new Explorer Uncle Rory had found on his used car lot an hour earlier. Xander liked the car. It had plenty of room for slaying equipment and personnel, and it drove well. He felt safe in the Explorer, but part of him missed his decrepit, old Jeep. The one his parents had sold the minute he left Sunnydale. Luckily, Uncle Rory was a good guy, and he was willing to help his sister's son. He'd given Xander a very reasonable down payment and monthly fee, very affordable on the money Xander would get from the Council, even considering that he would have to pay rent and related bills as well.   
  
It took him awhile to find the object of his search, once he had wheels. Xander had heard all about Aidan's house, of course. He knew Sonya, Faith, and Rio lived there along with the young Watcher, and Buffy spent lots of time there as well. He'd even seen pictures of the place. But he'd never been given great directions. Xander drove up and down several streets before finally spotting the place.   
  
Xander parked along the curb and hopped out of his new vehicle. Somehow, having a shiny, new car took the edge off what had been a very crappy morning. He walked up to the front door and was about to knock when he felt chills at the nape of his neck. Those chills meant that he was being watched. He'd learned to head them like a sixth sense in his time as Pseudo-Slayer, and later during tests at the Academy.   
  
He turned slowly, his hand automatically going for the stake he kept at the small of his back.   
  
"Ease down. It's just me."   
  
Xander turned to see Faith sitting on the porch swing. She'd draped herself over the whole thing, and pushed herself back and forth with one boot-clad toe. Xander found himself smiling. "Hey, Petunia. Long time, no see."   
  
Faith glared at him. "I told you at Christmas, quit with the Petunia thing."   
  
"Oh, come on," Xander urged. "I think it's *so* fitting! You are quite the flower, Petunia."   
  
Rolling her eyes, Faith said, "You're the one who thought of Petunia. I just had to pretend it was my name to keep you interested. I was undercover!"   
  
Xander walked over to the swing and plopped down beside her, forcing her to scoot over a little to make room. "I have fond memories of Petunia."   
  
"I don't." Faith crossed her arms over her black, curve-hugging T-shirt. "So, what are you doing here, anyway?"   
  
"Reporting to my mentor."   
  
"A Watcher's duty is never done?"   
  
"Something like that."   
  
Faith stared at him openly. "So, what did you think of the new Buffy."   
  
Xander's smile vanished. "Not much, actually."   
  
"Me neither."   
  
"So, how's Angel?" He tried to cover up the sudden edge in his tone.   
  
"Same old, same old," Faith replied with a careful casualness. "He may give good tail, but he gets so attached."   
  
"And you're not? Attached, I mean?"   
  
Faith arched an eyebrow. "To a vampire? Come on."   
  
"Oh, so you just sleep with vampires?" Xander challenged.   
  
"Get out of my face, Watcher. I don't need your moral compass."   
  
Xander stood up and headed back for the front door. "I wouldn't try to give you a moral compass even if I had one to spare. I just think you and Angel are good for each other, that's all." Before Faith could say anything else derogatory, Xander disappeared inside the house.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Mall   
  
"Woo-hoo! Shoot 'em up, Buff!" Xander cried in the middle of the mall arcade.   
  
Buffy laughed as she pointed a plastic gun at an animated screen and tried to shoot the bad guys. She got several of them, before their superior numbers finally overwhelmed her video-game-self. Holstering the plastic gun, Buffy wiped her forehead and said, "Whew! That was amazing."   
  
Xander grinned. "Glad you liked it. I find the arcade a great place to work off one's frustrations. Just pretend that the bad guys are vamps, or mean friends, or anal retentive librarians and then blow their brains out. Very therapeutic."   
  
"Definitely," Buffy agreed. She glanced longingly at the game.   
  
"Wanna play again?"   
  
She frowned. "I'm out of tokens."   
  
Xander pulled a handful of tokens out and set them on top of the holster. "I've got'cha covered."   
  
Her frown dissolved into a smile. "OK, but only if you play with me."   
  
"I'm sure you'd get a better score on your own," Xander said. "You've got amazing aim, even if it is a video game. I've never gotten so far on one token."   
  
"But together," Buffy said, "we could get farther. I know you've got it in you, Xander."   
  
Xander plunked two tokens in the machine for each of them. "OK, you talked me into it."   
  
Buffy unholstered her plastic gun. "Good."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summer's Residence   
  
Buffy opened her eyes. Everything looked different again. She wasn't in her bed. She was in a large, white room. Brilliant light flowed from a source she couldn't see. She glanced down. Instead of normal clothes, she was wearing a long, white robe.   
  
[I must be dreaming] Buffy decided [but it feels so real.]   
  
She took a step forward, and then another. The white room stretched out in front of her, but in the distance she could see something golden. Her footsteps sped up, but the object didn't get any closer. Soon Buffy was at a full out run. Her heart pumped faster, and she strained for breath. Nothing happened for a long time, and then she was there.   
  
"Howdy!"   
  
Buffy stared up at a tall, chunky woman. The woman had red hair in a huge, bouffant hairdo and wore a hideous, cotton-candy-pink dress covered by a white apron. Her cheeks were pink, her lashes long and lush, and her eyes an unbelievable shade of purple.   
  
"Where am I?" Buffy asked.   
  
The woman frowned. She was doing something with her hands, but Buffy couldn't tell what. There was a screen in the way. The woman's nametag read "Betty."   
  
"You ain't supposed to be here yet."   
  
"Well, I am here," Buffy said. "Now tell me where here is."   
  
Betty raised a hand in protest. She was wearing pink, rubber gloves covered in suds. "Things got an order to 'em, Buffy. You cain't be here yet." Buffy could smell the sudden, strong scent of her favorite brand of shampoo.   
  
Another woman popped up from behind the screen. This one was extra skinny with long, white-blonde, ironed-flat hair and tons of blue eye shadow that clashed with her brilliant green eyes. Her nametag read "Donna."   
  
"How did she get here, Betty?" the second woman asked.   
  
Betty shrugged. "I ain't in charge o' this, Donna. Don't ask me."   
  
Donna was holding a can of hairspray. She pointed with the bottle back the way Buffy had come. "Go back."   
  
Buffy sighed. "Can I just wake up now? Would that be OK with you gals?"   
  
Betty and Donna exchanged knowing looks.   
  
"She is a Slayer," Donna said.   
  
"Look, child," Betty said. "You just go back thatta way. You'll find yerself again."   
  
A tight, vise-like grip tightened around Buffy's arm. Buffy gasped and turned to find herself being drug backwards by a stoop-shouldered woman in black robes.   
  
"Let me go!" Buffy cried. She tried to pull free, but the woman's grip was immobile. "Please?" she whispered.   
  
When Betty, Donna and their screen were pinpoints in the distance, the woman finally let Buffy's arm go. Buffy rubbed it as the places where her claw-like fingers had gripped began to ache. Then woman turned and stared at Buffy with black eyes. Buffy gasped. It wasn't just the irises or the pupils that were black. It was the whole eye!   
  
"What are you?" Buffy asked.   
  
"Wake up." The woman shook her hand at Buffy. Buffy stepped backwards. The woman was brandishing a pair of small, but very sharp, silver scissors. "Wake up."   
  
Buffy felt herself falling backwards...   
  
...And then she opened her eyes to find herself back in her bed room. Or, rather, back in her double's bedroom. And for once, she was very glad to be there.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's House   
  
Xander found Aidan, Jenny, and Rio hard at work in Aidan's study. Xander didn't remember much about Rio from personal experience, but Buffy had told him Rio was a good guy underneath. Xander was willing to give the young warlock a chance.   
  
"Hi, guys!" he said from the threshold, announcing his presence.   
  
"Xander!" Aidan exclaimed. He stood up and walked over to give the boy a hearty handshake. "You're here. Wonderful."   
  
Jenny stood as well. "Welcome back, Xander."   
  
"Hey," Rio said from his chair.   
  
Xander returned the warlock's nod and gave Jenny a quick hug.   
  
Aidan led Xander to a chair, and then returned to his own. "So, have you..."   
  
"Heard the news?" Xander supplied. "Yeah, and then some."   
  
"Don't worry," Aidan hastened to say. "We're going to find something to make this right."   
  
"I'm not worried," Xander lied. "I came to help."   
  
"Splendid." Aidan handed Xander a thick book. "Extra eyes should make this go much faster. Thank you."   
  
"No problem." Xander opened the book and stared blankly at the table of contents. The deja vu was almost overwhelming, but, in actuality, even though he was researching something for Slayer activities, everything was really so much different than it used to be. He was a Watcher now, though still technically in training. And of the people in the room with him, Jenny was the only "regular" he knew very well.   
  
"How are you doing, Xander?" Jenny whispered from her seat on the couch.   
  
He shrugged. "OK, I guess."   
  
"Not the homecoming you were expecting?"   
  
"Not by a long shot."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Movie Theater   
  
"I just love that film. Movies were so much better back then," Cordelia gushed as she followed Doyle out the back entrance of the theater. "The men were more gallant, the women were more beautiful..."   
  
Doyle let the door fall shut behind them. "It was a good film, I'll grant ye, but it was a bit slow. A nice car chase would have liven things up a wee bit, don' ye think?"   
  
Cordelia gasped indignantly and turned to berate him for his lack of class. "Car chase! How can you think..." Then she saw Doyle's wicked grin. Cordelia slugged him on the shoulder. "You just said that to annoy me."   
  
"I cannae help it, lass. It's so much fun to make ye squeal."   
  
The friendly banter stopped suddenly when they heard something definitely out of place. A low growling. Cordelia suddenly realized that they were alone in the back alley. Because of the position of the buildings and the lowness of the sun, the alley was free of direct sunlight. Though it was closer to the edge of the parking lot where they'd left her car, suddenly, coming out the back way seemed like a really bad idea.   
  
Doyle reached back and tugged on the door, but it was one of the "Exit Only" varieties. No getting back in that way. He shook his head. They heard the growl again. Cordelia tracked the sound, and froze when she saw two golden eyes staring at them from underneath a pile of trash. She jerked her head, and Doyle pinpointed the danger as well.   
  
"Can ye make the car?" Doyle whispered out of the side of his mouth. "I'll hold it off until ye get out here."   
  
A year ago, something like this would have scared Cordelia. Well, she was still scared, but she'd been through enough that she could act in spite of that. Her main concern right now, besides the growly, scary thing, was Doyle. "Are you sure?"   
  
"Aye, lass." He didn't take his eyes of the creature. "But hurry."   
  
Cordelia started to back away as the thing sprang out from the darkest shadows with a loud growl. It's eyes were fixed on her. Cordelia swallowed a scream, turned, and began to run. She was doing well at first. Years of aerobics paid off. Even in platforms, she could make good time.   
  
Then Doyle shouted. Cordelia looked back for just an instant to see him charge the beast to keep it away from her. She recognized their foe then. A feral vampire! But she'd looked back an instant too long. Her foot brushed something wet, and she started to slide. She pinwheeled her arms, but couldn't keep her balance. Cordelia landed hard. She couldn't breathe.   
  
The feral vampire yelped, and then Doyle shouted, but they sounded so far away. Cordelia wanted to turn over, to see what was happening, but she couldn't move. Her body heaved, screaming for air. Her lungs burned as she tried to gasp air back into them. The seconds before her lungs filled with air again seemed like an eternity. Then, suddenly, she could breathe again! All the noises in the alley -- growling, grunts of pain, yelps, clanking Dumpsters, breaking bottles -- slammed back into her ears and she rolled over and tried to sit up.   
  
Just as she moved, something wet and slimy hit her leg. Cordelia's eye focused just in time to see the feral looming over her. It licked its chops and drooled. Something red glistened on it's lips and tongue.   
  
"Doyle?" Cordelia squeaked, but she couldn't hear him. She couldn't look -- all her attention was taken by the vampire in front of her. What was the rule? The first to break eye contact lost dominance? Cordelia couldn't break the thing's gaze. Keeping her eyes, it leaned down toward the exposed skin of her thigh. Her skirt had ridden up in the fall. She knew there was a large vein in the thigh. Cordelia began to scoot backwards, looking for a weapon.   
  
The feral broke eye contact. Cordelia reached behind her and found something large and heavy. Her hands clasped the makeshift weapon just as the feral's fangs bit deeply into her leg... 


	11. Chapter 11

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 11:   
  
Behind the Movie Theater   
  
Cordelia screamed as the feral vampire bit into her thigh. Fangs ripped tender, tanned skin as they searched for a vein from which to feed. A calm, normal vampire bite to the neck began to look like a pleasure compared to what the wild, uncontrolled feral was doing to her leg. Her heart raced as the pain blossomed. Tears spilled involuntarily down her cheeks. But her hand still closed around the weapon, a piece of iron piping.   
  
She swallowed her pain and focused on the creature knelt before her.   
  
"Get. Off. Of. Me!" She punctuated each word with blow to the head. The creature stopped biting, stunned. It fell on top of her legs, but at least it wasn't using her for lunch any more. Cordelia kept the blows coming as long as her arms could lift the pipe. The feral's head began to mush a little. The pain in her leg faded from agony to a plain old ache. But the tears kept coming.   
  
"Lass, ye can stop."   
  
Cordelia looked up to see Doyle -- a very battered Doyle -- standing over her. Her arms trembled and she dropped the pipe. Her shirt was spattered with bits of vampire gore. Her skirt oozed with blood, mostly hers.   
  
Doyle leaned down. The feral was still breathing. It would take the vampire a while to heal from a squashed skull, but the unnaturalness of the beast would allow it to eventually heal. For the moment, it was no longer a threat. Doyle picked up a jagged piece of a crate that had broken earlier in the fight and jabbed the pointiest edge through the feral's heart. It poofed into dust without even a whimper. Dust floated all around them. Some of it stuck to the blood covering Cordelia. Doyle knelt next to her and touched her shoulder. "How bad are ye hurt?"   
  
Mutely, she pushed her blood-soaked skirt up and showed him her leg. The flesh had been ripped, and it still oozed blood, though not as bad now that nothing was chewing on her.   
  
"You lost quite a bit o' blood," Doyle said. "Do ye feel light headed."   
  
"I want to go home," Cordelia replied. She wiped some tears away, leaving a smear of blood across one cheek.   
  
"Aye, I'll take ye there, lass, but first ye need a doctor."   
  
Her shoulders shook as she tried in vain not to sob. "I want to go home."   
  
"Are ye parents there?"   
  
She shook her head.   
  
Doyle pulled her into his arms, and she began to cry. Real, gut- wrenching sobs shook her whole body. Doyle had seen Cordelia go through some fairly serious stuff, without a tear, but this had finally broken her steel will.   
  
The sobbing suddenly stopped, and he looked down. Her eyes were closed. She was still breathing, but she was definitely unconscious. Had she lost even more blood than he'd originally thought? When she didn't say she felt light headed, Doyle had figured they had time before he had to move her.   
  
He scooped the girl up, and winced when his shoulder hurt. He limped them both out to the car, parked several yards away in the bright sunlight. Doyle had attacked the thing to give Cordelia a chance to get away, and the feral had taken him down. But, Cordelia had fallen, and the feral had left Doyle to bite on the pretty young lady instead. Inside, Doyle still berated himself on how he could have been faster or better.   
  
After situating Cordelia in the passenger seat and making sure her seatbelt was fastened, Doyle began to drive as fast as possible toward Sunnydale Memorial Hospital.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Summer's Residence   
  
Buffy lay in her double's room staring at the ceiling. Her heart had finally slowed down after the strange, disturbing dream she'd had. She controlled her breathing, keeping it slow and even. After a few minutes of this, she sat up and swung her feet over the edge of the bed.   
  
She still didn't know what that dream was about. Betty, Donna, and the freaky woman with black eyes and a wicked, but tiny, pair of scissors to brandish. And the scariest part of the dream was how real it felt. It felt almost like one of her Slayer dreams. Not quite. There was enough vagueness and such that she questioned the feeling. But... it seemed like more than your average nightmare.   
  
Finally, Buffy got out of bed and walked over to the mirror. She ran a comb through her hair -- actually, her double's hair, not hers -- until it looked pretty normal. Then she pulled it up in a ponytail. Her double had the same hope chest that Buffy did back home. The one with the false bottom full of stakes, holy water, and crosses. There were some other toys in here, too.   
  
"Nice," Buffy said approvingly as she pulled out a wicked knife. It had a handy leg sheath that fit nicely under the jeans she wore. Buffy stowed a cross and a couple of vials of holy water in her pockets and thrust a stake through her waistband. Then she glanced at the window. The sun was definitely going down.   
  
"Vampires of the Hellmouth, here I come."   
  
Buffy went downstairs quietly. She knew she was supposed to patrol on a schedule, but she was not in the mood for that right now.   
  
"Buffy!" Joyce called, walking out from the kitchen. "Aidan wants you over at his house before patrol. Sonya and Oz are coming by to pick you up in a little while."   
  
The Slayer shook her head. "No thanks. I'm going out on my own."   
  
"But, Buffy..."   
  
"No!" Instantly, Buffy regretted her harsh tone. "Look, I'm sorry, Mo... Joy... Mom, but I need some time by myself. I've got a little pent up aggression I need to work out."   
  
"But, they're already on their way. They're bringing the schedule and everything."   
  
"Tell them I'll talk to them, and the rest of the crew tomorrow. Tonight, they'd better just stay out of my way."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Mall   
  
Before Buffy realized it, the afternoon was over. She and Xander had wasted several hours -- and about a million tokens -- on the shoot- 'em-up game, but it had been great therapy. She felt relaxed for the first time since waking up in this strange version of reality.   
  
"I guess we'd better get back," Xander said, looking at his watch. Buffy smiled when she noticed it was a Snoopy watch.   
  
"Yeah," she said. "It'll be time to patrol soon."   
  
They walked out of the mall and into the parking lot. Buffy looked up to see the sun sitting on the horizon.   
  
"Think we'll make it home before dark?" Xander asked.   
  
"Maybe not," Buffy admitted, "but don't worry."   
  
"I have a Slayer for my body guard," Xander replied with a grin. "Who am I to worry?"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's House   
  
"I think I found something!"   
  
Everyone in the room -- Aidan, Xander, Rio, and Amy, who'd shown up an hour after Xander had -- looked up at Jenny's exclamation.   
  
"What did you find?" Xander demanded.   
  
"This spell," Jenny replied, holding the book up so they call could see. "It is supposed to help guide spirits back to their rightful bodies. It is meant to be used with astral projection, but I think I can adapt it for use in this situation. I just have to add a dimensional element, which I can adapt from Amy's future spell."   
  
"Is that possible?" Aidan questioned.   
  
"Very possible," Jenny said.   
  
"What's the downside?" Rio asked. With magic, they all knew, there was always consequences.   
  
Jenny looked down at the spell for a moment before speaking. "There shouldn't be any big after-effects from the spell. It's not a powerful enough undertaking to form a demon or result in a spontaneous rain of toads or anything like that. However, the spell is intended to help spirits back into their vacant bodies. Even if this Buffy gets back to her old body, I can't say for sure if she'll be able to get into it. Then again, the astral cord may just take over at that point. It may pull this Buffy into her own body, forcing our Buffy out. Then, our Buffy's astral cord will pull her back into her own body. There is some risk involved, definitely, but I think we can work with this." Jenny sighed. "It's all we have."   
  
"Could a Buffy get lost?" Xander asked after a moment. "A spirit without a body can't be a good thing."   
  
"It's not," Rio contributed. "Two or three days, maybe a week for a really strong spirit, and then it vanishes from this plain of existence without a body to inhabit. And, without a spirit to inhabit it, a body will be no more than a shell. It can be kept alive on machines, of course, but what would be the point?" Rio had done much research about spirits and bodies in the past, while working with his former associates, Terrance and Nicole.   
  
"That's all true," Jenny conceded, "but don't forget about the astral cord. It is a spiritual cord -- usually seen as a silver band connecting the spirit to it's body. It is very strong, and it will aid us in the quest by helping the both girls find their own bodies. If we send this Buffy, and she finds her dimension and her body, our Buffy should be able to feel the cord tugging at the spirit-Buffy, if this Buffy can't take control of the body on her own. Also, we can so a different spell to link this Buffy to our Buffy's body, just in case something goes wrong and she has to come back. Create a cord of our own. One that will fade within a prescribed time period."   
  
"It sounds quite risky," Aidan said, "however, you're right, it's all we have at this point. It might be worth a try, especially if we can ensure this Buffy will be able to find her way back if something goes wrong."   
  
Xander looked at the others with a clouded expression. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Aidan. If we keep researching, maybe we'll find something else. Something with less risk involved."   
  
Aidan walked over to Xander's side and spoke softly. "I know it's hard. Things like this are one reason why love, any kind of love, between a Watcher and a Slayer was forbidden. Luckily, Mr. Giles doesn't believe in that hogwash, but it does make it more difficult to see past the risk."   
  
"I don't want to lose our Buffy," Xander said, his expression haunted. "If we can't get her back in one spiritual piece, then I'd rather that she stays where she is. Then at least she would have a chance to live."   
  
Aidan nodded. To the whole group, he said, "Jenny, I want you to prepare what you need to do to use the plan you suggested. The rest of us will keep researching here, looking for a less risky way to go about switching this Buffy for our Buffy. After those scheduled for patrol tonight get back, we'll talk to Buffy about all this, ask her opinion." Aidan glanced down at Xander. "If anyone is going to have a say about the risk, it should be her."   
  
Just then, they all heard the front door slam open. Seconds later, Sonya and Oz came running into the study.   
  
"Buffy was gone when we got there!" Sonya said, annoyance audible in her voice. "Joyce said she left to patrol on her own."   
  
"Should we go after her?" Oz asked.   
  
Aidan sighed. "Yes, try and find her, please. She is the Slayer, so I'm not worried about her safety any more than I would be on any given patrol, but there is news she must hear. If you see Angel and Faith out there, tell them to look for her, too. Spread the word that we need Buffy here tonight, after patrol. Jenny discovered a way that, perhaps, we can use to send this Buffy home and get our Buffy back."   
  
Sonya and Oz both nodded and headed back outside.   
  
"If you don't mind," Xander spoke up, "I'm going to patrol, as well. It's been too long since I walked the streets of the Hellmouth. Unless you'd really rather I stayed..." He looked to Aidan for permission.   
  
"Go on," Aidan agreed. "We can handle the research here. Cordelia and Doyle also may be by later."   
  
Xander nodded and then headed for the door himself.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Library   
  
When Buffy and Xander walked into the SHS Library, Willow, Oz, and Giles were already there.   
  
Buffy took a deep breath and walked over to Willow. "Can I talk to you a minute?"   
  
"Sure." Willow practically knocked her chair over in her hurry to stand up. "What's wrong?"   
  
"I just wanted to apologize," Buffy told Willow. She spoke quickly, trying to get all the words out fast. "I have issues with you, and most of them aren't your fault. I don't know if Xander or Giles told you, but in my world you were this crazy vampire queen. You tormented my Xander all the time, and really hurt him. You... she shacked up with this vamp named Spike and tried to kill us all by hiring these Order of Teraka assassins..."   
  
Suddenly, Willow interrupted, "I was *with* Spike?"   
  
Oz reached out and took her hand. "It wasn't you."   
  
"That's what I'm trying to say," Buffy said. "I was confusing my... well... hatred of her with my feelings for you. And I'm sorry."   
  
"About the Amy thing..." Willow began.   
  
Buffy cut her off. "I don't want to talk about that."   
  
"I was just going to say that I'm going to fix it."   
  
"You should do that," Buffy replied. "It must suck being a rat."   
  
Just then, Giles walked into the room. He'd been in his small office. "Buffy. How are you feeling today."   
  
"All right," Buffy replied. She smiled at Xander. "Xander has been helping me get acclimatized. I'm ready to patrol, if you want to give me the schedule."   
  
Giles frowned. "Schedule?"   
  
Buffy bit her lip for a minute. "I guess that's another thing that's different here, huh? At home we have me, Angel, an ex-Slayer, a potential Slayer, a warlock, a witch, and Oz. A Watcher, too. Well, I guess they have two now, since my Xander must be home from England by this point." She looked sad for a moment, then she obviously pushed that aside and finished her explanation. "Anyway, we have so much help from both the supernaturally gifted like me down to the normal humans like Oz that we patrol in shifts. That way we all get some time off now and again."   
  
"Normal?"   
  
Buffy looked over at Oz. He seemed unnaturally pale beneath the black hair. "Huh?"   
  
"You called me a normal human."   
  
"Yeah." Buffy felt like she was missing something. Again. "What else would you be."   
  
Oz and Willow exchanged a long glance, then Willow said, "Oz is a werewolf. He was bitten by his cousin and... anyway, we have to cage him on the three nights around the full moon."   
  
"But otherwise, I'm cool," Oz added.   
  
"Well... uh... I'll have to tell my Oz not to let his cousin bite him if... *when* I get back," Buffy said.   
  
Oz nodded. "That would be cool. His name's Kevin."   
  
Bringing things back to the subject of patrolling, Giles said, "It sounds like your Watcher has managed his resources quite creatively. But, unfortunately, we don't have quite as many, as more of us are in the 'normal human' category."   
  
"So here, it's just me." She thought about that. "And Angel."   
  
"Will and I can patrol, too," Xander piped up. "We've done it before."   
  
"I know you're capable, Xander," Buffy said, "but... have you had any hand-to-hand training?"   
  
Xander shook his head.   
  
Buffy glanced at Giles. She didn't want to keep saying that her way was better, but, sometimes it just seemed to be that way. "My Xander started training early. Good training gives a good edge without superpowers."   
  
"Ah... yes, so it would," Giles stammered.   
  
Looking back at Oz, Buffy asked, "Does being a werewolf give you superpowers? Like extra strength and stuff?"   
  
Oz shook his head. "Negative on the strength, when I'm in human form anyway. And, when I'm not in human form, you really don't want to be around me."   
  
"Oh." Buffy looked disappointed.   
  
"There is a perk," Oz added. "Heightened senses. Good for tracking."   
  
"Could you sniff out vampires?" Buffy asked.   
  
Oz pondered that for a moment. "Never tried. But I can find Willow anywhere."   
  
Willow smiled and blushed.   
  
Buffy turned back to Giles. "I ought to head out, if I'm going to get it all done by myself."   
  
"Right," Giles answered. This whole conversation had non-plussed him. He wasn't used to not being the one with the answers. "Take Xander with you. He can help you find the local danger spots. The are probably relatively similar, but having someone's advice on your first night out would be a sound idea."   
  
"Sure, Giles," Buffy agreed. If he was surprised that she didn't put up a fight, Giles didn't show it. For her part, even though she would have to protect him, Buffy was glad to spend more time with Xander. He made her feel almost normal here, something no one else could do. And she knew she could look out for him. Also, with the whole Amy-rat discovery, Willow and Oz never had gotten around to acclimatizing her to patrolling areas.   
  
Xander, for his part, looked pleased with himself. "Well then," he said, "shall we go?"   
  
"Yes," Buffy agreed. "Let's."   
  
"We will continue researching how to send you back," Giles told the two teenagers as they headed out of the library. Buffy and Xander waved as the door swung shut behind them.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Sunnydale Memorial Hospital   
  
"Please open yer eyes, princess."   
  
Doyle smoothed Cordelia's dark hair away from her forehead. Her normally tanned skin looked faded and wan from lack of blood. The hospital staff hadn't questioned his story of a wild dog attack. With the amount of attacks attributed in this way, it would seem that people would expect Sunnydale to be crawling with packs and packs of wild dogs, but the excuse continued to work.   
  
The resident on duty in the Emergency Room had typed Cordelia's blood and set her up for a transfusion. Now Doyle waited inside her curtained-off cubical for her to wake up as the red liquid slowly dripped into her veins. The resident has also stitched and bandaged Cordelia's led wounds and thoroughly examined her, then he'd left Doyle alone with her.   
  
The rickety, plastic, hospital chair teetered as Doyle shifted his weight. He laid his hand on Cordelia's still one and waited.   
  
"I cannae live wi' out ye, lass. Even if ye never love me like I love ye. I'd rather have ye insultin' me forever than not to have ye in my life."   
  
He waited, but even that impassioned plea brought no response. Doyle sighed. She didn't know or didn't care that he loved her when she was awake. What a fool he was for thinking that it would matter when she was asleep.   
  
Finally, he decided to go out and find the nearest pay phone. Aidan and the others would worry when he and Cordelia didn't show up for research duty. He had to hunt, but eventually he found the break in the curtain and headed down the hall toward the waiting room, where he remembered seeing a cluster of pay phones.   
  
Back inside the cubical, Cordelia stirred and moaned. She shivered, as if cold, and slowly, her eyes began to flutter open. "Doyle?"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets of Sunnydale   
  
Angel patrolled quietly. His senses were alert as he scanned for the presence of other vampires, but his mind was focused on something else. Faith. He kept hoping to spot her somewhere out here so they could talk about what had happened. Angel didn't know how it had happened, but the feelings had crept up on him over the past few months. All this time that he'd thought he was in love with Buffy, destined to never have her love him back, his heart had been changing on him. Sure, he cared about Buffy, but he could honestly say that he wasn't in love with her any more. Faith had that position in his heart. But she didn't want it either. Or so she said. Angel didn't believe it yet. When they were together, he could feel that she loved him, too. They'd both been hiding for too long, and he wanted to make her face the truth. They deserved a moment or two of happiness in their dark, tortured existence.   
  
A thud in the distance alerted him to someone else's presence. It sounded like it was coming from the graveyard on the next block. He concentrated, drawing on his enhanced hearing. Yes, that was definitely a fight.   
  
He closed his fist around a stake and hurried to find out what was going on. If it was Faith...   
  
When Angel rounded a mausoleum, he saw a slender girl exchanging blows with a rather hefty vampire. At first, he thought it was Faith. There was something savage about the punching. The girl drove the vampire to the ground and kept pummeling it when she could have staked it. Then the girl's hair glistened blonde in the moonlight.   
  
Angel quickened his steps and arrived at the scene in time to hear the vampire beg, "Slayer, just stake me."   
  
Stone-faced, Buffy pulled back her hand for another blow. Angel beat her to it, and plunged his stake through the vamp's chest. Vampire dust swirled around them on the breeze, and Buffy glared at him.   
  
"That was my kill."   
  
"They why hadn't you killed him?"   
  
"I just needed to work out some aggression, OK? It's not easy living someone else's life. Every time I don't live up to what they expect from *her* I have to apologize or feel guilty or something. You guys never apologize for not living up to what I expect from you."   
  
"Still," Angel said, "you don't need to stoop to cruelty. He might deserve it, but you don't deserve what that would do to you. Believe me, I know."   
  
"You were cruel for centuries. You, Darla, Drusilla, and Spike were the scourge of Europe. Blah, blah, blah." Buffy slid her stake back into her waistband. "Believe me, I've heard it more times that I want to."   
  
Angel fell in step beside her. "I told you about it?" He couldn't help being surprised. He hated going into his past around the others on the team. Most of them just couldn't understand.   
  
Buffy shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it right now."   
  
"What do you want to talk about?" Angel asked, reluctantly moving on from a topic he would have liked to have explored further. "You can take some of that aggression out on me if you want to. Tell me, what are your expectations of me that I'm not living up to."   
  
A strange noise caught his attention, then he realized it was coming from Buffy. She was crying.   
  
"Hey!" Angel exclaimed. He gently tilted her face towards him with the tips of his fingers. "What is it?"   
  
"I miss you, Angel!"   
  
They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. Before Angel knew what was happening, Buffy stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed him. Her lips met his, and he felt her passion and desperation. For an instant, he relinquished himself to the moment. He'd wanted it for so many years. Then he stepped back. It was true. He loved Faith, and now he knew that more than ever. Kissing Buffy just felt wrong.   
  
"I'm sorry... I..."   
  
Buffy shook her head. "I know, I shouldn't have... I just keep messing up here!" She turned and fled.   
  
Angel thought about going after her, but he didn't. He didn't think he could help her, especially not with his mind still reeling. He needed to find Faith. 


	12. Chapter 12

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 12:   
  
In Oz's Van   
  
"Look!"   
  
Sonya leaned forward and pointed, blocking Oz's view of the road. Sheila swerved a little, and Sonya sank back into her seat, but she kept pointing. "It's Buffy."   
  
Oz looked over as well and saw Buffy running down the sidewalk, her blonde hair streaming after her. He revved Shelia, made a quick U- turn, and pulled alongside her.   
  
"Buffy!" Sonya had rolled down her window. "Stop!"   
  
"Just leave me alone," Buffy yelled.   
  
Oz let Sheila coast along next to Buffy. It was the only way to compete with Slayer speed.   
  
"You have to come back with us," Sonya told Buffy through the window. "Jenny found a way to send you home."   
  
Buffy stopped running, and Oz hit the brakes. When he looked at the Slayer head on, he could tell that she had been crying. He decided not to mention it. This Buffy was touchy.   
  
"There's a way to send me back?" Buffy demanded.   
  
"Yes," Sonya replied.   
  
"Get in," Oz suggested. "We'll take you to them."   
  
Without another word, Buffy got in the back of the van and sat down.   
  
The ride back to Aidan's house seemed long because no one spoke. Oz and Sonya took turns glancing back at Buffy, but she never moved. She just sat there, staring out the window.   
  
When they got to Aidan's, Sonya said, "They're probably still in the study. It opens up from the entry hall on your right. You can go on in. Tell them that Oz and I went to finish patrol for you. How far had you gotten?"   
  
"Holy Oaks Cemetary," Buffy replied. Then she got out of the van and strode toward the house with a purposeful step.   
  
Oz and Sonya watched until Buffy was inside the house, and then he began to drive back toward the cemetary district.   
  
"We're finishing patrol, huh?" He glanced over at his girlfriend.   
  
She smiled at him. "It sounds like she was almost done. I figured, after, we could have a little private time. It's not like they need us for spell stuff."   
  
Oz had an answering smile on his lips as he replied, "Private time is good."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets of Sunnydale   
  
Xander always had to work hard to keep up with Buffy. He had a foot on her in height and a lot of that could be found in leg-length, but she had the whole super-speed thing going for her.   
  
He liked to watch her when she didn't know he was looking. Times like now. He loved the way her forehead crinkled when she concentrated, and that just-try-it-sucker look in her eyes. Even so, though, he could tell that this wasn't his Buffy. There was just something a little different about the way she approached things and the way she moved. Xander couldn't put it into words, but he could sense it. He could see it, too, in the way she moved, in the way she tossed her hair, in her smile, in the depths of her eyes...   
  
When they rounded a corner, Xander nodded toward a row of hedges. "That's a hot spot. Cemetary on the other side."   
  
Buffy nodded once in reply and stopped. Xander stopped, too, wondering what she was about to do. She put a finger to her lips, and they both listened. Something scuffled. It could have been leaves dancing in the nighttime breeze, or a stray cat. Xander felt Buffy tense next to him. Then she sprang. She went up and over the hedges. He heard the thump of her boot heels when she landed on the other side. Then he heard something else. A thump of something falling and a snarl.   
  
Xander pulled out his cross and his stake and ran to the end of the hedges and around the corner, wishing he could get over them like Buffy had. When he got into the cemetary, he saw Buffy duking it out with a slim, dark-haired vampire chick. With her game face on, she reminded Xander a little of Drusilla, but he could tell it wasn't her.   
  
Without needing to be told, Xander crept over to the body the vamp had left abandoned on the ground. He leaned over the body and gently touched its neck. No pulse. It had been a guy. He was a little older than Xander, with blond hair. From his slacks and his burgundy shirt, the guy had had a fashion sense that would have pleased the finicky Cordelia Chase.   
  
Xander sighed. This was the bad part -- the not-getting-there-in-time part. He reached down and closed the guy's dead, staring eyes.   
  
"Sorry, buddy," Xander muttered.   
  
He looked up to check on Buffy. The vamp chick was giving her a good fight, but Xander's practised eye told him the Slayer would win in the end. Buffy hadn't even worked up a sweat, but the vampire looked to be a little desperate.   
  
Xander glanced back down at the body. It was staring up at him.   
  
His brow wrinkled in confusion. "Hey, didn't I..." That was when he realized that the body wasn't dead anymore. Now it was undead. The vamp must've been alone with this guy longer than Xander had first thought. This was a shady corner. They could have been here for hours.   
  
"Hey," Xander said, putting on a smile as the guy's face morphed to show his new demon side. "Look at that. You're alive. Kinda."   
  
Xander started to scoot away, wishing that he'd had some of that hand- to-hand combat training Buffy had been talking about. Sure, he could swing a punch, but he'd never had any formal training... except in his imaginary boot camp last Halloween.   
  
The guy snarled and sprang. Xander dodged, and the vamp went sprawling. Xander held out his cross. "Stay back."   
  
The new vampire was too hungry to fear crosses. It endured the pain and swatted the cross out of Xander's grasp. Then it lunged again. The vampire grabbed Xander and gave him several hard blows to the face. Xander saw a couple of stars, but forced himself out of it. Using the vampire's strength against him, Xander braced himself on the vampire's arms, jumped up, and kicked straight into the thing's stomach. It let him go. Xander scrambled to his feet.   
  
Xander swung more quickly this time, and his fist connected with the vampire. Since Xander didn't have super strength, he knew he had to finish the fight quick. The longer he had to fight, the better the odds that the vampire would overpower him.   
  
He followed up his first punch with a second and then a third. The vampire staggered a little and growled and charged.   
  
Squinting, Xander held out the stake, aimed for the heart, and then let the vampire run right into it.   
  
As the dust swirled around him, Xander shook his head. "Newbie."   
  
"Good job, Xander!"   
  
He turned to see Buffy grinning at him, her vamp now nothing more than ash in the wind. "Hey, I try."   
  
"You have good instincts," Buffy praised him. "You knew just how to trick the new one. They're so young and stupid when they first wake up. Not too mention too hungry to think straight."   
  
"I was pretty scared," Xander admitted.   
  
Buffy shrugged. "They're vampires. We all have reason to be scared. But you did good, Xander. I knew you had it in you. Maybe tomorrow I could help you start some training exercises to maximize that potential."   
  
Xander felt his trademark grin return. "That would be great, Buffy. Thanks."   
  
She blushed and looked away. "No problem."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Docks   
  
Angel had finished the patrol and stopped by all of Faith's favorite vampire-bashing locations, but he hadn't been able to find her. A carefully worded phone call to Aidan had revealed that she wasn't at home. Angel was pretty much out of places to look, until he remembered where his relationship with Faith had begun.   
  
The seedy, water-front bar was just like he remembered. Ratty, run- down, and full of hard-drinking sailors. Almost a cliche, really, but no one in the place cared about that.   
  
Angel walked inside and began scanning the room.   
  
"Yo, mister!"   
  
Angel looked over at the bar tender. "Yeah?"   
  
"You gotta order somethin' ta be in here. This ain't no peep show."   
  
Angel rolled his eyes, but he tossed the man a five dollar bill.   
  
"Whaddya want?" the bartender asked, pocketing the fiver.   
  
"I don't care," Angel replied. Then he added, "Just not tequila."   
  
A few minutes later, armed with a shot of whiskey, Angel began to wander through the dim room. He'd hoped Faith would be at the bar. She liked to be the center of attention. But she hadn't been there. The bar wasn't that crowded. Angel didn't have a problem scanning the main room. No Faith. Lots of guys and their ladies, but not the lady he was looking for.   
  
He was just about to give up when he heard raccous laughter coming from the back of the bar. Angel peered into a cramped hallway that he'd thought led to the bathrooms. Instead, it went on several feet and then opened into another room. The room held several green-felt- covered pool tables, some dart boards, and another bar. Angel lurked just inside the doorway, scanning the room. For obvious reasons, this room was more crowded than the first.   
  
Another loud burst of laughter caused Angel to look toward one of the pool tables just in time to see Faith take a pool cue from a man with a black beard and wiggle her bottom seductivly as she made her shot. The bearded guy made no pretense about staring at her ass. Angel felt himself start to growl. He had to forcibly stop himself from changing. He paused for a minute, trying to calm down. By the time he had himself under control, Faith's shot was good -- the eight ball rolled quietly into its designated corner.   
  
Her opponent, a burly man in blue plaid, glared at her, while the rest of the crowd cheered.   
  
"Good goin', girlie. You showed him," an enthusiastic man yelled, sneering at the loser.   
  
Faith took a pile of bills from the corner of the table and earned more cat calls as she stuffed it down her black-leather bustier.   
  
"Thanks, bud," Faith told Blue Plaid. "It's been a real thrill."   
  
"Congrats, babe," the bearded guy said, sliding a hand around Faith's tiny waist. "Tiny was the champeen 'round here." He leaned in to kiss her.   
  
Angel froze, staring. Faith grabbed a handful of the man's greasy hair and kissed him back.   
  
He couldn't take it any longer. Angel threw his drink down on the floor. Glass shattered. Angel stalked over to the couple, grabbed the guy's shirt collar and ripped them apart.   
  
The bearded guy didn't say anything. He just threw a punch. Angel blocked it, and punched him back, sending the guy flying across the room. Bystanders who'd been contemplating taking on the pretty boy, backed off.   
  
Angel turned to Faith. "What the hell are you doing?"   
  
Faith glared right back at Angel. "Trying to hook up! Apparently, you *still* don't know the meaning of casual sex." She turned around and began to walk away, tossing a few words over her shoulder at him. "Why don't you find some other chick to stalk?"   
  
Before he knew what he was doing, Angel had gone after her, picked her up, and thrown her over his shoulder. Faith kicked, but she couldn't get free when he held her with all of his strength. Some of the guys whistled.   
  
"Careful, guy! She's a fiesty one," someone yelled.   
  
"Don't I know it," Angel replied. As they walked passed the guy Angel had punched, Angel dropped a few twenties on his chest, enough to cover a doctor's appointment, or whatever. Then he carried Faith out of the bar and into the night.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's House   
  
"You found a way to send me back?"   
  
Everyone in the study looked up in surprise to see Buffy standing in the doorway, arms folded across her chest.   
  
"Buffy," Jenny said with a breathless laugh. "You scared me."   
  
Buffy slanted a look at the computer teacher. "Sorry." The tone of her voice indicated that she wasn't sorry at all.   
  
Aidan frowned. "Buffy..."   
  
"No, Aidan," Jenny replied, "it's all right. I'm sure we'd all be testy if we found ourselves in a strange dimension."   
  
Buffy chuckled dryly. "Yeah, that's it, Ms. Calendar. Go with that." Before anyone could give her a lecture in etiquette, Buffy said, "So, like I said, you've found a way to send me back? Let's do it. Now."   
  
"It's not quite that easy, Buffy," Aidan replied. "There are risks..."   
  
"I don't care." Buffy sat down in one of Aidan's leather-covered wing chairs and crossed her legs. "I'm going home."   
  
Amy and Rio, who had been helping prepare the ingredients, watched the proceedings silently. Amy looked close to tears again as she watched the new Buffy. Rio slid an arm around her shoulders for support, and she smiled at him gratefully.   
  
"Basically," Jenny said, "we're going to do an astral projection spell. It should force your soul out of this body and back through the dimensions to your own body. However, we can't be sure what will happen. In case something doesn't work, or you can't get into your own body when you find it, we will anchor you to this body, as well. There are risks, though. The anchoring spell could be too weak to pull you back through dimensional boundaries, you could be trapped too long outside a body, something that would eventually cause your soul to fade out of this existance... a whole host of things could theoretically go wrong." Jenny paused. "But, I don't think they will. We have planned this out carefully."   
  
"Are there any other options?" Buffy asked.   
  
Jenny and Aidan exchanged a glance.   
  
"No," Aidan replied. "This is all we've been able to come up with."   
  
Buffy stared Aidan down. "Then we're doing it."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
A Playground   
  
"So, this place is a hot spot in your world, too?" Buffy asked Xander as they checked a small, neighborhood park for vampires. It wasn't the same park where they'd swung earlier that afternoon, but Buffy remembered helping Angel with a vampire that had tried to eat some kids making out on the merry-go-round at this park in her own dimension.   
  
"Yup," Xander answered. "Kids playing here after dark. Very bad."   
  
Buffy twitched some low-hanging brush up and peered beneath it.   
  
Xander frowned curiously. "You think a vamp might be hiding under there?"   
  
"You guys don't have ferals here, I guess." Buffy let the brush drop and straightened up. "At home, we've been fighting these feral vampires for a while now. If a vampire doesn't feed soon enough after it wakes up the first time, it goes feral. It's pretty much like a rabid dog or something. It tends to move on all-fours a lot of the time, and it will always be ridgy and ugly. They're pretty indescriminent about who and what they kill."   
  
"Like normal vampires are the most discriminating," Xander threw in, rolling his eyes.   
  
"Right," Buffy agreed, "but at least they try not to make a big scene about it most of the time. It depends on the vamp, of course. But ferals... well, they'll charge into the middle of Jack In The Box if they're hungry enough. And, when they aren't hungry, they like to hide in small, dark places."   
  
"How often does a vampire become feral?" Xander asked.   
  
"Not often," Buffy replied. "Except, this queen vampire back home... she's breeding them."   
  
"A vampire is purposefully making new vampires and then not feeding them so they can be her pets?" Xander asked.   
  
"Yep." Buffy nodded. "Sick, isn't it?"   
  
"Vampires just keep sinking to new lows." Xander shook his head.   
  
"Well," Buffy said as they finished walking around the park. "I guess we're about done."   
  
"We haven't gone by the Bronze yet," Xander told her. "I saved it for last, since it's the only part of patrol that has a live music and dancing factor."   
  
"Oh yeah!" A little excitement entered Buffy's voice. "I'd forgotten about the Bronze."   
  
"How could you forget about the Bronze?" Xander asked. "It's only the most happening place in town."   
  
Buffy wrinkled her nose. "Ours kind of... burned down."   
  
Xander's eyebrows shot up. "Burned down?"   
  
"Yep. We were pretty broken up about it, but then we found this cool place in Calvin. It's a little bit of a drive, but worth it."   
  
Reaching out to take Buffy's arm, Xander said, "Well, come on. You're about due for some Bronze time."   
  
Buffy slid her arm into his grasp and followed him eagerly. "Sounds great."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Sunnydale Memorial Hospital   
  
"Are you Doyle?"   
  
Doyle turned to see a nurse standing behind him. "Yes, ma'am. Is somethin' wrong?"   
  
"The girl you brought in, she's asking for you."   
  
It took Doyle seconds to replace the payphone receiver on its hook -- Aidan and the others had been very concerned, but it had also sounded like they were in the middle of something with the new Buffy -- and run back to Cordelia's cubical. When he burst through the curtains, he saw her sitting up in bed. Her skin had a little more of its natural bronzed color and her eyes were open.   
  
"Yer awake," Doyle said, unnecessarily.   
  
"You saved my life," Cordelia replied, simply.   
  
Doyle shook his head. "No." He checked to make sure none of the hospital staff was nearby, and then added, "Ye beat the beast's head to a bloody pulp wit'out any help from me."   
  
"But you brought me here," Cordelia replied. "And you sacrificed yourself so that I could get out of the alley."   
  
"Aye," Doyle replied. "But, ye saved me, too, by killin' that thing."   
  
"Come down here," Cordelia ordered.   
  
Confused, Doyle did what she asked. Then, before he could move, Cordelia pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. Doyle froze for an instant, hardly able to believe what was happening. Then he kissed her back, gently, almost afraid she would break. When they broke apart, they were both breathing rapidly.   
  
"Thank you, Doyle," Cordelia whispered.   
  
"Thank ye, princess," Doyle replied.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets of Sunnydale   
  
Angel was on the hunt. He wanted something he could hit. A lot.   
  
He couldn't stand the way Buffy looked at him now. It was like the connection they'd always had was just... gone. Poof. He knew what had happened to her, but wasn't their love supposed to transcend things like dimensions? A few days ago, Angel had been concerned with how the power of their love and the fact that they could never act on that love was ruining Buffy's life. He'd even toyed with the idea of leaving Sunnydale for good, so Buffy move on and have a happy, semi- normal life. Now he wouldn't have to do that. But it hurt to be around her like this. He prefered the other pain -- the pain of being around her and not being able to touch her or act on his feelings, except through words.   
  
The damn gypsies had planned their torment well, and Angel knew it. To be doomed to this life without any moments of pure happiness. Considering the hell that this world was, it seemed almost cruel and unusual torture. Of course, who was he to deny someone their torture?   
  
Sadly for Angel, he found nothing untoward on the streets that night. Not even a rogue vampire. Either Buffy was doing very well, or it was a slow night.   
  
Finally, Angel decided to go to the Bronze. If a vampire wanted a quick bite, that was one of the best places.   
  
The doorman knew Angel, and always let him in without cover. All it had taken was saving the guy's life. It was a good thing. Money was not something Angel had a lot of.   
  
The souled vampire entered the club and began to scan for any trouble. Then he began a perimeter search.   
  
That was when he saw them out on the dance floor. Buffy and Xander. Xander of all people! It was like they were joined at the hip these days.   
  
Silently, Angel settled in the wait until he could speak to Buffy alone.   
  
Meanwhile, on the dance floor, Buffy was having the time of her life. The only times she felt normal in this dimension were when she was slaying vampires and when she was with Xander. Sometimes it was hard to remember that this Xander wasn't her Xander. He was so cute and funny. If he was a little more immature, well, her Xander had that streak, too, he just didn't have as many chances to show it.   
  
Buffy shrieked with laughter when Xander pulled her into an impromptu dip. Then he pulled her back up and spun her around several times. When the song ended, they exited the floor, both gasping for air.   
  
"Drink?" Xander asked, cheeks flushed.   
  
"Water," Buffy replied. "Cold."   
  
"Cold H2O coming right up." Xander left her by an empty table and headed toward the bar.   
  
Buffy was about to sit down, when she felt a presence. She turned and saw Angel standing behind her. He had that intense look in his eyes again.   
  
She'd never had the best of luck getting along with Angel. He'd proven himself a true ally, but until he and Faith started their relationship, she never felt at ease around him. Now, she really didn't feel at ease around him.   
  
"Buffy."   
  
"Yes?" She met his gaze evenly.   
  
"Can we talk for a second?"   
  
"I guess so," Buffy replied. "Xander is at the bar."   
  
"I know."   
  
"Would you like to sit down?" Bufy asked. She sat in one of the small chairs.   
  
Angel pulled a chair right next to hers and sat down. "I know this is crazy, but I... I need to know about us."   
  
"Us?" Buffy asked. "There is no us."   
  
"That's what I don't understand," Angel replied. "I can't imagine a reality where I don't love you. I just need to know why..." He leaned closer, and, before Buffy realized what he was going to do, he kissed her.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's Study   
  
Buffy sat cross legged in the middle of a circle. Aidan, Amy, and Rio were there in the background, but Jenny was the one preparing for the spell.   
  
"Are you ready?" Jenny asked, tucking a strand of short, dark hair behind her ear.   
  
Buffy pinned Jenny with a narrow gaze. In a soft voice, she said, "Ms. Calendar, these people all seem to trust you. I don't want to rock another boat while I'm here, but I just want to tell you something. *I* know why you're here and where you come from." Her voice dropped to a harsh whisper as Jenny's face paled. "If you try any of that gypsy crap on me... well, let's just say that when it got you killed in my world, the only person I felt bad for was your boyfriend."   
  
Jenny swallowed, hard. "If you know why I'm here, you know that I'm not here to hurt anyone. I'm just here to watch."   
  
"You might not want to hurt anyone, but that won't stop people from getting hurt when the truth comes out. You should think about that."   
  
Jenny looked at Buffy for a long moment. "I can tell that you were hurt by whatever happened."   
  
"Not just me," Buffy replied bitterly. "However, I don't want to talk about that any more. I just wanted you to know that I know. Now, let's just do this."   
  
"All right." Jenny took a deep breath and tried to focus. After several moments and a few more calming breaths, she began the spell...   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Outside the Bronze   
  
Faith waited in a dark alley. She'd always wanted to try and get Angel into the sack, and now she had the Mayor's approval to do so. And she had a foolproof method to rid Angel of his soul, if his virtuous side proved too strong.   
  
She'd followed him here easily enough. When he headed home, he would be a prime target. She licked her lips. This was going to be fun.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Astral Plane   
  
Buffy closed her eyes after Jenny began the words of the spell. She waited for a feeling of lightness or bouyancy or... something, but nothing happened.   
  
[I think you're doing it wrong] Buffy began to say, but she couldn't hear her own voice. She opened her eyes, and she found herself staring at the ceiling of Aidan's study. She looked down and saw her double's body lying in the middle of the circle. A bright, green cord ran between the body and her spirit, floating high above the ground, the anchor spell they had described to her. The cord gleamed so brightly, Buffy wondered that no one else seemed to see it.   
  
Jenny, Aidan, Rio, and Amy stood near the circle, talking.   
  
"Do you think it worked?" Amy asked.   
  
"She has begun her out of body journey," Jenny replied. "Now it's up to her what happens."   
  
"Do you think she can do it?" Rio asked. Buffy frowned at the boy she didn't know. Like he had the right to question her!   
  
"If anyone can, I'm sure Buffy can," Aidan replied. "If nothing else, this Buffy has strength."   
  
Buffy looked away from the group, satisfied that her little talk with Jenny had prompted the woman to do her best. After everything that had happened, Buffy just couldn't trust Jenny. True, at home she had given Giles permission to date her again, but that hadn't been for Jenny, it had been for Giles.   
  
[Now what?] Buffy asked herself. The room was just a room. She didn't know how to open any dimensional portals or anything like that.   
  
She allowed herself to sink down a little. Then she saw it, a gleam of silver. It ran from the body's heart up through the ceiling. Buffy looked down at her own chest. She could see it in a shadowy type of way. She could see the outline of her body, but she could see through it as well. But now she finally saw what she was looking for. A faint, silvery gleam exuding from her own heart. That cord, too, vanished through the ceiling.   
  
Buffy raised her arms a la Superman and began to float higher. She passed through the ceiling, the second floor, the attic, and finally the roof. In the night sky, the two silver cords gleamed more brightly. They rose higher and higher into the atmosphere. Buffy followed them for a while, but she didn't seem to be getting anywhere.   
  
[I wonder...] she thought. Slowly, she reached out both hands and grasped the cords. The sky around her flashed silver and suddenly she felt herself moving fast. Stars and clouds blurred around her until she couldn't see anything. She felt like she was riding Space Mountain, only without a cart or a safetly harness. If she had a heart right now, it would be in her throat. She just hung on to the cords for all she was worth, and hoped it was over soon.   
  
Suddenly, there was another flash, but this one was blue. And red. And purple. Even though she was in spirit form, Buffy could suddenly smell honeysuckle.   
  
And then all the motion stopped. Buffy looked at the cords in her shadowy grasp. The one belonging to her double was still faint. Like a string. But hers... it was much bigger. Now the green cord was thin and stringlike, but the silvery cord was thick and pulsed with energy.   
  
Buffy floated along the cord until she saw a flash of blonde hair. She looked up. There she was! That was her body. And the tiny silver cord vanished inside of it.   
  
She paused, floating next to herself. She looked at her body, talking and moving without her and felt a sharp pang of sadness. Then she saw who was sitting next to her.   
  
[Angel!] Buffy tried to shout, but he didn't hear her. She moved closer to her love and kissed him. She felt a tiny jolt as her shadowy lips touched his.   
  
Then he moved. She felt his body rushing toward hers. She floated out of the way and turned to see Angel kiss her. But it wasn't her! Didn't he know it wasn't her?   
  
Buffy charged her body and felt it slide past her.   
  
[Let me in!] she yelled. She could feel the astral cord tugging at her. It wanted to let her in, but it couldn't. The body was already filled. Buffy couldn't get in! And that girl, that stupid girl, didn't know that she only had to let go right now and they would switch back!   
  
Suddenly, the green cord tightened and began the pull. The world around her flashed as she began travelling back the way she had come.   
  
[Nooooooooooo!] Buffy screamed to the cosmos, but there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it. 


	13. Chapter 13

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 13   
  
Parts Unknown   
  
"Things are gettin' tangled."   
  
"It is not our concern yet."   
  
"But it's gettin' worse. Body jumpin', soul searchin'... we should do somethin'."   
  
"When the time is right, things will be done. Who are we to say when that is?"   
  
"Why, we're the most important ones, we're..."   
  
"Hush. The time will come, but it is not now."   
  
There was a deep sigh -- three mouths, one sigh.   
  
"I just hope they can take it."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Bronze   
  
"Stop it!" Buffy pulled herself away from Angel and reached out and slapped him across his pale, broody face. "You had no right to do that. I'm not your Buffy!"   
  
"I... I..." Angel sat back in his chair. At the confused look on his face, Buffy almost wanted to forgive him. She scrubbed her lips with the back of her hand.   
  
"I don't know what came over me," Angel said quietly. "I just... at that moment I just had to kiss her... you... her..."   
  
"Well, I'm not her, and I don't want you kissing me."   
  
"Did you... did you feel anything?"   
  
Buffy glared at him, her wish to forgive rapidly vanishing. "I felt violated. Angel, I don't love you. I'm sorry, but I don't. I know this must be hard for you. It's hard for all of us. But we just have to deal until somebody finds a way to switch us back."   
  
Angel stared at her. "For a minute, it felt like you were her. I could feel her all around me."   
  
Buffy thought back to the insanity of that kiss. Her heart had started to beat so quickly, but not from passion. She'd felt something inside... the only word to describe it was tugging. Her hand went up to her chest at the spot nearest the tugging. And she'd smelled... had that been honey suckle?   
  
"Hey, what's going on?"   
  
Angel and Buffy turned to see Xander standing next to the table, holding two bottles of water.   
  
"Angel was just leaving," Buffy replied firmly.   
  
Angel stood. Buffy looked away from him.   
  
Xander looked from one to the other. "Is everything OK?"   
  
Before Buffy could answer, Angel was gone.   
  
"That is so typical," Xander grumbled, taking Angel's vacated seat. "Look away for one second, and he's gone. I've said it before, but we ought to put a bell on that guy!" He handed Buffy her water. "So, what really happened?"   
  
"It was strange," Buffy told him. She decided not to tell Xander about the kiss. She didn't want to make things worse for Angel, even though she was still unhappy about what had happened. However, she did want Xander's opinion about the other weirdness. "For a moment, I felt like... like something inside of me was tugging on something. Something was trying to get in."   
  
Xander stared at her. "Tugging?"   
  
"Tugging on my soul," Buffy whispered. Suddenly, she jumped up out of the chair. "We've got to go back to the library. I have to talk to Giles!"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Outside the Bronze   
  
When Buffy slapped Angel, Faith couldn't stop the chuckle that rose to her lips. Whatever problems B and her pet vampire were having, they could only work to Faith's advantage. She made it back out to the alley seconds before Angel came storming out of the Bronze.   
  
She waited in the shadow of a dumpster until he passed by. Her hand shot out and grabbed him. She pulled him to the ground and straddled him, fitting herself easily over his more sensitive areas.   
  
"Hey, Angel. How's it hanging." She felt something instinctively tighten. "Never mind. Got it."   
  
"Get off of me, Faith," Angel growled.   
  
She wiggled her hips. "C'mon. That's not what you really want."   
  
A few feet away, the doors to the Bronze swung open again and Buffy came out, followed by her little puppy, Xander. They didn't even look toward the dumpster. Faith rolled her eyes.   
  
Focusing on Angel again, Faith hissed, "Look, she didn't see us. We're safe. You know f*cking me would be the perfect way to get back at her."   
  
Angel grabbed Faith's waist.   
  
"Yeah, baby," she urged.   
  
Using his greater height and weight to his advantage, Angel managed to push Faith off of him. "Grow up," he said, and then stalked away.   
  
Faith glared after him. "You want this the hard way, buster, you got it."   
  
Angel was on his way back to the mansion when Faith and the demon in the turban appeared...   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Angel's Apartment   
  
He carried her all the way back from the bar. Angel knew if he let Faith go, she would run, and that would be it. She'd be gone from his life forever. About halfway there, she finally gave up struggling. He knew that meant she was planning something else. He knew the way her mind worked.   
  
When he had to stop to unlock his door, she made her move. She tensed and kicked out, trying to make him lose his balance. But, Angel was prepared for such a tactic. Barely a sway, and he was steady again. And the door was unlocked.   
  
Angel carried her inside, slid the deadbolt into place, carried her into the bedroom, and, finally, dumped her onto the bed.   
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Faith demanded.   
  
With her hair tousled and her cheeks pink from being held upside-down, sitting there looking so sexy in the middle of his bed, Angel wanted to kiss her. His body ached for it. But he couldn't. That would ruin everything.   
  
"You have to face this."   
  
"What?" She cocked an eyebrow at him. "You?"   
  
He shook his head. "Us."   
  
Faith rose to her knees. "When are you gonna get it through your wicked-stupid brain that there is no us. A vampire and a human in love? What the hell is that? It's insane is what it is, and I'm not gonna do it."   
  
"Why are you so afraid of love?" Angel asked her. "We were built for more than casual sex. We were built to find our mates. You and I, we connect. We belong together, despite what we are. You know better than anyone else that it doesn't make us any less... compatible." He leaned closer. "I've never fought for love before. I never thought I deserved that. But you deserve that, and you deserve to know that I love you. I don't know if I can have a real relationship. I don't even know if you can have a real relationship. But I think that we should try. Together."   
  
"You love me more than you love Buffy?"   
  
Her question came out so softly that Angel almost didn't hear it. But he did hear it. And it shocked him. He didn't think anyone knew about that. Except for Xander... and apparently this new Buffy. He sat down next to Faith on the bed. "I was in love with Buffy," he told her honestly. "She was bright and beautiful, and she needed help. And then she became the Slayer, and she needed help in a different way. The love was real, but it was different than how I feel for you. Those feelings stayed at a distance, she was up on a pedestal, whereas everything with you is right in my face. That's the way love is supposed to be. It's supposed to be right there, everyday, waiting for you."   
  
He looked straight at her, into her deep, brown eyes. "Faith, tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that a human and a vampire can't make it work, and I'll believe you. Tell me that I'm damaged, that I can't give you what you want. Because I can't give you a white picket fence, a sun room, and dozens of little rugrats. If you tell me this is over, then you can leave, right now, and I won't chase after you again. I've said what I needed to say, and now it's up to you."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's Apartment   
  
"How much longer?" Amy looked at the clock. It had been almost an hour since they sent Buffy on her astral journey.   
  
"Not much." Rio put his hand on her shoulder. She covered it with her own hand. Amy was grateful for Rio's friendship more now than ever before. Before, she'd still had Buffy, her best friend. In life without Buffy -- though it had only been a couple of days -- Rio was her rock. Something she never would have believed last Spring Break when he had her tied up on a table to sacrifice her to his life-force-sucking teammates.   
  
Jenny had been leaning against the leg of the couch watching Buffy's body, motionless except for a deep, rhythmic breathing. Suddenly, Jenny straightened up and crouched near to the body. "The energy's changed. She's coming back."   
  
"Can you tell which one it is?"   
  
Amy instinctively crossed her fingers. Her senses, attuned to the magic in the room around them, began to tingle. Magic crackled in the air, though non-magic-users wouldn't be able to tell. [Please be the real Buffy] she chanted silently. [Please come back to us.] The unspoken part of her chant was the part she wouldn't allow herself to concentrate on. The part where, if the real Buffy didn't return, didn't ever return, it was all Amy's fault.   
  
"No." Jenny shook her head. "We'll have to ask her when she wakes up."   
  
Buffy's body arched and her eyes opened. She gasped for air.   
  
"Can you hear me, Buffy?" Jenny called, leaning over the body.   
  
Buffy still gasped for air, harder and faster, as if she couldn't fill her lungs fast enough.   
  
"She's hyperventilating," Jenny said crisply. "Amy, the bag."   
  
Amy handed Jenny a brown, paper bag. Now Amy knew why Jenny had insisted they have one ready.   
  
It took two hands for Jenny to hold the bag over Buffy's mouth. The Slayer writhed and fought, but she was weak. Jenny took a blow, but it didn't phase her. Finally, the bag had the desired effect. Buffy began to breath more calmly. She settled back into herself. Then she looked around the room.   
  
Jenny slowly removed the bag. "Can you hear me now?"   
  
"Are you all right?" Aidan asked, leaning in closer. The unspoken question hung in the room. [Which Buffy are you?]   
  
Tears welled up in Buffy's eyes. "I couldn't get in. That stupid b*tch wouldn't let me back into my own body!" The words came out as more of a wail. Buffy curled herself up into a ball and lay in the middle of the floor crying. It was the first time any of them had ever seen this Buffy be anything less than strong, in control, and defensive. None of them quite knew how to react. But, one thing they knew for sure. The spell had failed.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets of Sunnydale   
  
Jaques and his mistress walked the streets as if they had every right to be there. Well, Jaques scuttled a bit, but his mistress glided with the confidence of a queen. The glow of the street lights lit her golden hair like a halo. Her white gown frothed about her body, silk whispering against her pale, dead skin. She looked like a bride on her way to marry the man of her dreams. Except when one saw the gleam in her eyes. Not love. Nothing near. Excitement. Excitement laced with deadly hunger.   
  
The feral at her side, her loyal companion, whined. He knew he belonged in the shadows.   
  
"Hush, my pet," she told him, caressing the top of his head with her hand, her finger tips scratching the sensitive ridges on his face. Ridges she only had to show when she chose. "Tonight is our night, Jaques. Enjoy your moment in the light."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Library   
  
When Buffy and Xander reached the library, Giles, Oz, and Willow were still at the books. Some of the piles had shifted. The discard pile was higher than when they'd left. But, the only sound in the large room was the occasional crinkle of a page turning.   
  
The slamming of the door as Buffy burst through, followed by Xander, startled all the researchers. Giles dropped his book to the table. The thick tome made a heavy thud.   
  
"What's wrong?" Willow asked, her brow pinching with worry.   
  
"The other Buffy," Buffy told them, "she tried to contact me."   
  
Giles was on his feet immediately. "How do you know?"   
  
Quickly, Buffy related what had happened in the Bronze ending with, "So it must have been her. Her spirit was there. That's why Angel suddenly kissed me, and that's why something inside was... tugging." When no one said anything for a moment, she added a little defensively, "I know it sounds weird, but it was her. This body recognized her. I could feel it. But... before I could do anything, she was gone again."   
  
Xander stepped closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I saw their faces. Something weird was definitely going on." She gave him a small smile, grateful for the support, and glad the kissing thing hadn't bothered him.   
  
"What could this mean, Giles?" Willow asked.   
  
Giles took off his glasses and began to clean them with a handkerchief. "Actually, it sounds like astral projection. The astral cord that connects our Buffy to this body reacted to the nearness of her spirit. All the books say that when a spirit leaves the body for an astral journey, it stays connected to the body by a spiritual cord so the spirit can always find its way back home." He frowned. "I had ruled astral projection out as a theory because, well, there are no records of it being used transdimentionally."   
  
"If we could figure out how she did the astral thingie," Buffy said, "maybe we could figure out how, if she does it again, I could get out of the way."   
  
"If the Buffys were out of their bodies at the same time, then maybe the cords would pull them back to the right bodies!" Willow exclaimed. "I mean, it sounds like, this time it would have worked if this body hadn't already had a spirit inside of it."   
  
Giles looked at the clock. Almost 2 a.m. "It is rather late. Why don't you all head home and get some sleep. I will find the volumes we need for the astral research, and tomorrow we will start a concerted effort to find out about it."   
  
Buffy wanted to start right then. She didn't want to rest until she knew how to get home. But, the logical part of her brain knew that Giles was right. He, Oz, and Willow had been researching all night, and she and Xander had exerted a lot of energy with the vampires. Sleep would do them all good.   
  
"OK," she agreed. "Tomorrow it is."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Aidan's House   
  
Oz parked Sheila in front of the house and turned off the motor. Lights still gleamed from the study windows. "Looks like they're still working."   
  
"I wonder how things are going," Sonya said, also looking at the windows. "A year and a half ago, I never would have thought that trading our Buffy for a strong, independent version would be a bad thing. Now I just want our Buffy back."   
  
"She's your friend." Oz smiled at his girlfriend.   
  
Sonya smiled back. "Who'd'a thunk it?"   
  
Oz looked thoughtful. "That long ago, who would have thought any of this would happen?"   
  
"Yeah." Sonya leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder. "I was an anti-social Slayer trapped in a wheelchair, who thought she was in love with her best friend. Xander was burning the candle at both ends to pick up my slack, as was Giles. You were some musician that I didn't even know. Buffy was a blonde bimbo. Aidan worked at the British Museum and didn't know the leader of the Council was a vampire... The list goes on and on."   
  
"Fate is a crazy thing. You don't see the plan until it's way over." Oz began to trace circles on Sonya's bare arm with is fingers. She shivered, which made Oz smile.   
  
"You really believe in Fate and all that stuff?" Sonya asked. "I was thinking about it one day, and I don't know if I do believe in Fate. I mean, just think how different everything would have been if one little thing in our lives had been different. Like, what if Buffy hadn't come to Sunnydale? None of this would be like it is. Or... what if she hadn't been hit by the car? Maybe then she'd be like the Buffy we've got now. One little thing makes all the difference."   
  
"But maybe Fate is what has control of all the one little things." Gently, Oz pushed Sonya to a sitting position. "Before we go in, let's take that alone time."   
  
"In the van?" Sonya asked.   
  
"Let's get in back."   
  
She grinned at her boyfriend. "Are you planning to take advantage of me?"   
  
Oz didn't say anything. He just crawled into the back of the van. Normally, he had another row of seats back there, and the rest of the room was full of Dingoes equipment. When Sonya followed him into the back, she realized that, except for the one seat near the door -- the one Buffy had sat in on their way back here earlier -- the back was empty. All the equipment was gone, too. There was a small pile of stuff behind the driver's seat, and that was it.   
  
"Just a second," Oz said. He rustled around for a minute and then leaned back in the front to flip a switch. Soft, multi-colored light illuminated the back. Sonya looked up and saw that the roof of the van had been strung with Christmas lights. She looked down and saw that Oz had spread several chenille throws and some patched pillows over the van floor. And he had a picnic basket. In it was a bottle of sparkling grape juice and two glasses.   
  
"I know you don't drink," Oz said.   
  
Sonya realized he looked nervous. "How long have you been planning this?"   
  
He held out his hand and drew her down onto the blankets with him. "Ever since the first time I saw you."   
  
"You mean that night at the Bronze when Buffy had given me a makeover?"   
  
He shook his head. "No. You looked great that night, don't get me wrong, but I'd seen you before. We had Bio together the first semester you came here. You always looked so sad, even before the accident. I wanted to help you, to make you smile, but you never gave me the time of day."   
  
Tears crystallized in Sonya's eyes.   
  
Oz gestured to the pillows and blankets. "Don't think this means we have to... you know. I mean, I want to, yeah, but I don't need to. I'd be happy just holding you, fully clothed, and talking. I just wanted to give you a little romance..."   
  
Sonya interrupted her nervously chatty boyfriend by putting a finger over his mouth. "Oz, shut up." Then she leaned in and kissed him.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Xander's House   
  
After their conference with Giles in the library, Buffy walked Xander home. He'd told her that she didn't have to, but she insisted, telling him that personal protection from the Slayer wasn't offered very often. Of course, he accepted.   
  
He paused awkwardly when they got to the porch. "I'd... I'd invite you in, but..."   
  
"I understand. Your dad's car is here." The look in her eyes spoke volumes.   
  
He was silent for a minute. "It's the same in your world, too? He told you?"   
  
She nodded. "He told me. That was one of the best things about him going to school in England -- he got to get out of this house. He used to spend the night on my couch a lot. If... if you need to, you're welcome. I'm sure this Mom would understand, too."   
  
Xander reached over and gave Buffy a tight hug. Normally, he wouldn't feel comfortable doing such a thing, but things with this Buffy were different.   
  
"You never stop amazing me," he whispered. "I wish..."   
  
Buffy pulled back a little to look him in the eye. "What do you wish?"   
  
He shook his head. "It's... wrong. I shouldn't." He stared at her, and that's when she knew what he wished. This Xander would be happy if she stayed here in this world. He would love her and cherish her, if she would let him. For a moment, she was tempted. All she had to do was stretch up a little, and their lips would touch. She wouldn't be so alone.   
  
But she couldn't do it. He was right, and she knew it. It was wrong. She wasn't his Buffy, and he wasn't her Xander. No matter how lonely she was, she couldn't take advantage of him. It would be cruel. And she loved them both too much to hurt them. Because she did love this Xander, though not quite in the same way she loved her Xander. Being with this Xander was a little like being with her Xander two years ago, though her Xander had always had more of an edge than this one, an edge that came from being the one out there fighting, the one the fight depended on.   
  
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, Xander. And I understand. Don't worry." She smiled at him.   
  
He smiled back. "Thanks, Buff."   
  
They let go of each other and stepped back. Buffy turned toward the porch stairs. "Remember, come over any time you need to. My couch is your couch."   
  
Xander nodded. "I'll remember that. I promise."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets of Sunnydale   
  
Xander ached for a kill. He'd been wandering the streets alone for... he'd totally lost track of time, but it had been for a while. Stake in one hand, cross in the other. A few other weapons stashed in jacket pockets. Years of training -- both as the Pseudo-Slayer and as a Watcher -- at his fingertips.   
  
And no damn vampires in sight!   
  
He needed the release. He needed to pound something until he forgot that right now the spell might be going wrong and Buffy, one of them, both of them, could be lost in the astral plane forever.   
  
"What good is learning to speak three languages in a record amount of time if no one listens when you say NO!" Xander scooped up a stone from the sidewalk and threw it. It hit a tree dead-on with a satisfying thunk.   
  
"Why, darling, look what we have here."   
  
Xander looked up at the ethereal, blonde woman in the flowing white gown standing just a few feet in front of him. She hadn't been there seconds before. That meant one thing. Vampire. His eyes traveled down and stopped on the thing huddled next to her. A feral. The feral growled protectively, moving a bit in front of her. Xander realized that this must be the mistress of the ferals. He hadn't heard much about her, but he'd gleaned enough from Buffy's letters and what Giles had told him from Aidan's reports. She'd eluded them all for over a year. He instinctively moved into a fighting stance and gripped his stake more securely.   
  
The woman laughed. It sounded like wind chimes tinkling on the night breeze. "It thinks it stands a chance against us. How utterly amusing." She raised fingers to her lips and whistled.   
  
Growls from behind made him turn. Xander saw three more ferals approaching from the rear. He looked back at the mistress.   
  
"I've brought you some playmates, Mr. Harris." She smiled at his surprise. "Yes, I know all about you." Addressing her minions, she said, "Don't kill him, darlings. Just make it so he cannot walk or run away. We need him as bait for his lover." She kept her hand on the head of the one by her side. "Not you yet, Jaques. We'll let the new ones try out their fangs on him first." Jaques howled in disappointment, but Xander couldn't spare a minute to think about that.   
  
He turned to face the three new threats. Adrenaline began to flow. He could do this. And, if not, he was damn sure going to try anyway. Xander Harris was no one's bait. He'd grown past that years ago. He'd force them to kill him first.   
  
One of the ferals ran for him with a howl. Xander readied his stake and jumped into the fight mind, body, and soul.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
Aidan's House   
  
Buffy seemed to have cried herself to sleep. Aidan had sent Rio to bed and Amy home. Only Jenny refused to leave.   
  
"Why do you want to stay? She doesn't like you very much," Aidan asked. His casual tone belied his interest in why this version of his Slayer hated one of their best allies.   
  
Jenny sighed. "I get the impression that in her dimension, I allowed something to happen which caused her much pain."   
  
"That's not you," Aidan said with certainty. If she'd proven one thing over the years they'd known her, Jenny was loyal and on their side.   
  
She smiled at him. "That you for saying so, Aidan, but we all have secrets that we cannot reveal."   
  
He straightened up in his chair and met her gaze evenly. "We all have secrets, but are these secrets something that will hurt us in the end?"   
  
Jenny paused for a minute, thinking. "I don't think so. If anything were to happen... I..." She swallowed nervously. She'd never admitted this before. "I think I would tell you."   
  
"Tell me now," Aidan replied simply.   
  
She stood up quickly. "I have to go."   
  
"Please?" Aidan asked.   
  
Jenny walked quickly toward the front door. "I'm sorry. I have to go. My uncle is in town visiting. I can't leave him to fend for himself all night." Moments later, the door closed behind her and he heard her start her car and drive away.   
  
Aidan slumped back in his chair. First, they couldn't trust the new Buffy. Now, it looked like they might not be able to trust Jenny Calendar, as well. He looked down at Buffy on the floor. Her eyes were open.   
  
Somehow, it didn't surprise him. "Why don't you tell me her secret? You obviously know it."   
  
Buffy sat up and began methodically pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "She isn't what she seems. Her people sent her here. She doesn't think there's anything wrong with not telling that. She didn't mean to hurt anyone, but if she'd only told us the truth..." She shivered. "Everything might have been different."   
  
Aidan stared at her in frustration. "But what is the bloody secret?"   
  
Buffy stood. Her gaze was a little glassy. "I've got to go. Don't worry about me. Find a way to fix the spell, and I'll be back to try again."   
  
Before Aidan could do or say anything else, Buffy was out the door at a hard run. He followed her to try and talk some sense into her, but by the time he reached the front door she had disappeared into the night. 


	14. Chapter 14

In the Space of a Lifetime  
  
Part 14   
  
Angel's Apartment   
  
Silence reigned after Angel dropped his bombshell. He had to consider that a good thing. At least Faith hadn't gotten up and run out of the room, which was pretty much what he had expected. He wanted to speak again, to reassure her or something, anything, but he couldn't. She had to take this into her own hands. It had to be her decision.   
  
"Angel, I..." Faith started to speak, but she didn't look up at him.   
  
"What?" Angel allowed himself to ask after she felt silent again. He reached out to her. Laying a finger against her chin, he guided her face so that she had to look him in the eye.   
  
"I love you, too." She said it all in a rush, and then stopped, as if unable to believe she'd actually said that.   
  
He couldn't kiss her and say everything would be all right. Not yet. Not until she dealt with the rest of it.   
  
"But, is love enough, Faith?"   
  
"I... I'm not sure." She took a deep breath. "Munchkins and a white picket fence, that's wicked boring. I want thrills and excitement. I want to be in the moment. I don't think about the future. I don't wanna plan the next five minutes, let alone the rest of my life. Aidan's got me back in school. He thinks I should go to college and plan for a career. He won't believe that none of that is me. All I wanna do is work for the Council, clearing out the bad guys right and left. I ain't no Slayer, but I'm the next best thing. I've got more vampire kills than any other special operative."   
  
"Where does that leave us?" Angel asked quietly. "Do you want to kill me?"   
  
"No!" Faith paused and lowered her voice. "No. When I think about the future... the future that I don't want to think about... I can see you there. I can see us fighting side-by-side. Council rules be damned. We could work together. I don't... I don't want to be without you, Angel, but that's all I can say right now. I don't know about next week or next month or next year, and I don't care. But, I know that I want you." She shrugged defensively. "That's all I can give you. If it ain't enough, maybe I'm the one who'd better let you go."   
  
A smile broke out on Angel's normally somber face. "Don't do that. You said exactly what I wanted to hear." His mind started to spin. Visions of him and Faith traveling, seeking out the evil and destroying it. She was human, but she could take care of herself. She was the first human, since Xander, that Angel thought that about.   
  
"You ever think about leaving Sunnydale?"   
  
Angel looked at Faith in surprise. "I thought you didn't like to plan ahead."   
  
She rolled her eyes at him. "Not a plan, an idea. There's a big diff."   
  
"If you say so." Angel suppressed laughter and let her continue, trying not to think about how close she hit on his exact thoughts.   
  
"Anyway, what about you and me goin' somewhere else. Some place where we don't know anyone. The others can handle things here. We could go on special ops. Rio was the only thing keeping me here, and I think he's pretty much got the rehabilitation and restitution thing covered."   
  
"I think that's a brilliant idea!" Angel said, then he leaned in to give her a kiss. The light kiss quickly flamed into passion, but this was new, different, no holds barred. For the first time since he and Faith had started down this road, Angel didn't have to feel guilty. He wasn't keeping her from something better. And he wasn't using her. He loved her, and she loved him. He couldn't believe it, and he didn't know if he deserved it, but he wasn't about to let it go!   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Library   
  
Though he'd encouraged the kids to go home and rest, Giles couldn't bring himself to follow his own advice. He sat in his private office within the library with a cup of tea next to him and a book about astral projection open in front of him. He'd gotten about halfway through the volume when the phone rang. Giles picked it up quickly.   
  
"Hello?"   
  
"It's started. I thought you told your friend to delay them."   
  
Giles closed his eyes for a minute. Just what they didn't need to deal with, on top of everything else!   
  
"I did," Giles said after collecting himself. "Apparently, Faith and whomever she is working for now, if our suspicions are correct, weren't willing to wait."   
  
"I can't talk long," Angel said. "I managed to lose Faith, but she'll find me again. She has to see if her plan worked."   
  
"Yes. You must be careful, Angel. We don't know what Faith is doing, or what her plan entails. You have to be convincing. Buffy wanted you to do... whatever it takes to find out the truth."   
  
"What about Buffy? The new one?" Angel asked. "Are we going to tell her? If Faith goes after her, and you know that she will -- why else bring back Angelus -- Buffy will have to play her part."   
  
"I'll tell her all she needs to know," Giles replied. "Can you keep Faith occupied tonight? I would prefer to let her have one night of rest."   
  
"Don't worry," Angel said wryly. "I think I can take care of it until sunrise, and then Faith will have to wait until sunset before she can take her new pet out for a walk."   
  
"That's all the time I need."   
  
Before Giles could say anything else, Angel hissed, "She's close." Then he hung up.   
  
Giles hung up the phone and sat still for a moment. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Why had it happened now? What was so crucial that his friend couldn't delay the plan? Apparently, they would find out soon enough. While Giles loathed to trust Angel again, for any reason, Buffy trusted him. Their Buffy. So Giles had gone along with it, albeit reluctantly. And now, without Buffy, Giles just hoped the plan yielded the same results.   
  
"Mr. Giles?"   
  
Giles turned and saw Wesley standing in the doorway. He had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "Yes?"   
  
Wesley strode into the room as if he owned the place. Glaring at Giles, Wesley said, "That shopkeeper in Sacramento had never heard of the volume you mentioned. I suspect something is going on here that I do not know about."   
  
Hiding a smirk beneath well-timed sip of tea, Giles swallowed and then said, "I don't know what you're talking about. I heard from a reliable source that shopkeeper had the volume. And that Slayer lore, and any relevant prophecies, would have done us good with these worries about Faith and her rehabilitation. However, you neglect to remember that I did not tell you about the volume. You overheard me talking about it on the telephone and insisted on going after it yourself."   
  
Of course, Giles had been talking to Willow on the phone, not the shopkeeper, as part of a plan to get Wesley out of the way for at least a day while they figured out what to do about the Buffy problem. Luckily, Wesley had fallen for the bait. Wesley was so predictable, and would never want such an important volume in the hands of someone fired by the Council. Unluckily, the ruse hadn't kept him away long enough.   
  
Before Wesley could puff up like an angry chicken, Giles said, "But, let's let bygones be bygones, shall we?"   
  
"Er... yes." Wesley had been distracted by something on the desk. His head was cocked so he could see the title of the book Giles had been reading. "Studying up on astral projection? Why?"   
  
Giles shut the book, put it in his briefcase, turned off his desk lamp, and stood up. "Just a little light reading. Always an interest of mine."   
  
Wesley frowned and seemed about to start another barrage of questions. Giles stopped him by practically pushing him out the door. "Time to head home and get a little sleep, old chap. Dawn comes early these days."   
  
With that, Giles headed out of the library, hoping against hope that he could find the answer to the Buffy switch before a) Wesley found out and b) the plan to find out the truth about Faith got much further under way.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets of Sunnydale   
  
Buffy found a crumb of satisfaction in leaving Aidan and the others to stew in their own juices and slamming the door behind her. But only a crumb. She couldn't get the thought of Angel kissing that imposter out of her mind!   
  
She began to run, trying to put that behind her. She ran past Oz's van without stopping to wonder why it was there. Her legs pumped and sweat began to trickle down her back and her neck. But, no matter how fast she ran, she couldn't get the image out of her mind. Salty tears mingled with beads of sweat on her face.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Elsewhere on the Streets   
  
Two ferals swarmed on Xander at the same time. Their mistress and her favorite pet stood back and watched avidly.   
  
Xander reached for the sheaths under his arms and pulled out two knives. Their blades glinted silvery in the moonlight. When the ferals leapt for him, he kicked the first one, sending it sprawling to the ground. In a move fluid after much practice, Xander twisted in the air and landed on his feet. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he slashed out with both knives. One raked across the other feral's face, the other slid into its chest and stuck there.   
  
"Monique!" the mistress screamed as the second feral went down. "Jaques, help her, darling."   
  
Down to one knife, Xander pulled a stake out of one of the inner pockets of his jacket. The first feral had regained its footing by now and began to charge. Xander planted his feet evenly in a fighting stance, and as soon as the feral was in range, he attacked. He spun out with another kick, followed by several thrusts with the knife. The knife caught on the feral's clothes and ripped them, but didn't draw blood. The feral growled and batted the knife out of Xander's hand.   
  
Several feet away, Jaques had pulled the other knife free from Monique's chest, and thrown it aside. Monique's chest wound was healing rapidly.   
  
"Good boy," the mistress called, and Jaques went running back to her side.   
  
Xander continued to tangle with the first feral. It was stronger than he was, but Xander had the advantage of not being mentally deficient and martial arts training. The feral tried to overpower Xander with supernatural strength alone. With normal humans, this tactic would work. But Xander kneed the creature in the stomach, and pulled out of it's grasp. Then, while the creature was still confused, Xander plunged the stake through its heart. It exploded into dust.   
  
A growl from behind caught Xander's attention. He spun. Monique was alive and well again, and hungry for more than just revenge.   
  
Xander calculated the distance between them, then turned and ran the other way.   
  
The mistress's laugh echoed around him.   
  
If he'd had breath to spare, Xander would have told her not to laugh so soon. But fighting ferals alone was draining his strength rapidly. One of the cardinal rules of being a normal human, as opposed to a Slayer, and trying to fight the demons was that the demons were stronger. Xander had to rely on tricks. The longer the demon drew out the fight, the more likely the demon could take him. It was Xander's job not to let that happen.   
  
A few feet away, a large oak tree grew, its branches overhanging the sidewalk. Xander leapt and managed to grab one of the branches. He locked his arms around the limb and hung there. The feral paused, and then decided that she could attack him just as well hanging as standing, and began building up her speed again. Xander slowly began to throw his weight back and forth, building up momentum of his own. When Monique sprang, Xander swung his legs out of her way, then he dropped onto her back. She hit the ground, cushioning his fall. Before she could move, Xander plunged his stake into her heart through the back.   
  
Brushing feral vampire dust off of his leather jacket, Xander stood up and looked back toward the mistress and her favorite pet. "You're gonna have to fish for some other bait, honey."   
  
The mistress looked angry. She didn't laugh this time. "No. I'm not." She pulled a small, silver bell from the folds of her dress and rang it.   
  
Ferals began to creep up all around them. Counting quickly, Xander saw at least five, maybe more.   
  
He was tired, sore, and he'd lost his favorite two knives.   
  
"Buffy wouldn't come for me anyway," Xander told the mistress, as he tried to pinpoint the position of all her little pets. "She doesn't care what happens to me."   
  
This time, the mistress did laugh, but she didn't answer him. Instead she spoke to the ferals. "Hurt him as much as you want, my children. Then take him back to the lair. Jaques and I have business elsewhere."   
  
Xander wanted to know what she meant by that. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. But he didn't have time to ask before the first of the new batch of ferals was upon him.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Xander's House   
  
After Buffy left, his house seemed cold and unappealing. Xander opened the front door as quietly as possible. The TV was on in the living room. With any luck, his dad was passed out in front of the boob tube.   
  
Xander headed for the stairs with the silent footsteps of someone who spent many years trying to be invisible in his own house. He knew where the broken floorboards were and which stairs creaked. He made it as far as the upstairs landing.   
  
The bathroom door swung open as Xander was creeping by.   
  
"What the hell are you doing coming home at this hour?" his father bellowed angrily. He stood there glaring at Xander, not even bothering to finish buttoning his pants.   
  
"I was out with Buffy," Xander answered defiantly.   
  
"Your Ma was cryin' all night. All you ever do is spend time with those friends of yours. We're your parents. You owe us some respect! And respect ain't comin' in at one in the morning after sleazing around town with some trouble-making blonde."   
  
"Buffy isn't a trouble maker!" Xander exclaimed. He regretted his quick tongue when his dad got that look in his eyes.   
  
"I know about that girl. She was wanted for murder."   
  
"They cleared her of those charges!"   
  
"Where there's smoke, there's fire, I always say. And that ain't the only weird thing about her."   
  
"Like you'd know anything," Xander muttered under his breath.   
  
In a quick move for someone so large, his father reached out and backhanded Xander across the face with a meaty fist. "That'll teach you to back talk your father!"   
  
Xander didn't move, though pain flared along his cheekbone. [Invisible] he told himself. Saying anything would only make it worse. Violence sated, Xander's dad turned and lumbered back down the stairs. Xander knew he was lucky. There must be something good on TV that his dad didn't want to miss.   
  
When he was alone, Xander went into his room and shut the door quietly. He sat down on his bed and stared at the door. He heard light footsteps outside.   
  
"Xander?" his mother called.   
  
"I'm fine, Mom," Xander replied. "Leave me alone."   
  
Not one to disobey, he heard her footsteps retreat back toward the bedroom she shared with her husband.   
  
Xander sat in the dark for a few minutes, then he stood and walked over to his window. He looked out over the neighborhood, lit only by streetlights and a silvery half-moon.   
  
[My couch is your couch.]   
  
When things got bad, he used to go spend the night at Willow's. Since Oz came into the picture, that had kinda changed. Especially after the whole formal wear = illicit smoochies thing. Not that Willow wouldn't let him stay... Xander just felt weird asking. And she never offered anymore.   
  
He grabbed his backpack and threw a change of clothes on top of his school books. Then he opened his window. With the ease of much practice, Xander dropped off the roof and slunk around the side of the house. He got to the sidewalk unnoticed. They probably would never know he was gone. There wouldn't be any reason to unless his dad got the urge to pound him some more.   
  
Conscious of the looming darkness and what else could be creeping around out in the night, Xander began to jog toward the one place he felt comfortable seeking solace.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Angel's Apartment   
  
Their loving was like nothing they had ever experienced before. Angel kept things slow, and Faith let him. They worshiped each other with their eyes and their lips. Angel gloried in the feel of her skin and the knowledge that she did, indeed, love him. It seemed so unreal. The part of him that had never believed he could ever have or deserve love was silent in shock.   
  
He nibbled her neck and Faith moaned with pleasure. Her fingernails raked up his back as he lowered himself on top of her, and his eyes closed involuntarily, letting him live in the moment and experience it to the fullest extent possible.   
  
Neither one of them heard the door to the apartment open...   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Buffy's House   
  
"Is that you, sweetie?"   
  
Buffy closed the door and followed the sound of her mother's voice into the living room. Joyce sat on the couch, a blanket over her legs and a book in her lap.   
  
"It's me."   
  
Joyce closed the book. "How are you doing? You look better."   
  
"I feel better. It was good to do my job."   
  
"Kill anything?" Joyce grimaced. "Never mind. I don't want to know." She smiled. "How about some hot chocolate?"   
  
Buffy nodded. "That would be nice."   
  
They went into the kitchen, and, as Joyce made them two mugs of Swiss Miss, Buffy could almost imagine that she was where she belonged. This, at least, was fully familiar.   
  
The mother and daughter had just finished their hot beverages when someone rang the doorbell.   
  
Joyce started to rise, but Buffy stopped her. "I'll get it."   
  
"It's a bit late for visitors, isn't it?"   
  
Buffy didn't answer, but silently she agreed. Visitors this late usually meant trouble, in one way or another. She had a stake stuck in her waistband from patrol. She eased it out into her hand, careful to keep that hand hidden behind the door as she opened it.   
  
She pulled the door open and found Xander standing there, backpack in hand, a bruise spreading over his left cheek.   
  
"Oh, Xander!" she cried. The stake fell to the floor, forgotten, as she pulled him into the house and into her arms. "I hate him," she whispered angrily. "Say the word, and he'll never bother you again."   
  
Xander didn't say anything. He just accepted her caring greedily, not many people knew the truth. Not even Willow, unless she'd figured it out and never told him. Every moment in Buffy's arms seemed to erase a moment of slight, a moment of battering, a moment of pain. The Xander in her dimension was one lucky guy!   
  
Finally, Xander stepped back, and Buffy let him go. She looked at him with a mix of emotions on her face.   
  
"So... can I take you up on the offer of your couch?"   
  
Buffy nodded and pointed into the living room. "Go get comfortable. I'll tell Mom."   
  
"You won't tell her everything, right?"   
  
"Not if you don't want me to."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Angel's Apartment   
  
Turning the doorknob to Angel's apartment felt, to Buffy, like opening a door back to another time. A time before a moment of pure happiness with her led to Angel losing his soul and her losing her lover forever. She still loved Angel, and he still loved her, but knowing they could never have a future... it made the years to come look so bleak and hopeless, though they were trying so hard to make it work anyway. She and Angel couldn't even kiss much anymore for fear of going too far. This apartment harkened back to the days of relative innocence, before they knew about the curse, before they knew they wouldn't have a future... It was, and always had been, the perfect place for Buffy to hide, to regroup. And after what had happened tonight, Buffy very much needed a place to regroup.   
  
The door swung open on silent hinges. Buffy froze in place. For an instant, she told herself that the noises were just Angel snoring or something. She'd never heard him snore, but this *was* an alternate dimension.   
  
Her eyes were drawn irrevocably to the bed. It was Angel, all right, but he wasn't alone. She caught a glimpse of a tangle of dark brown hair and a familiar profile. Faith! Angel was having sex with Faith?   
  
Buffy couldn't handle it. Tears sprang to her eyes and her throat threatened to close up. She tried to say something, to demand what the hell he was thinking risking his soul for a lying slut like Faith... But she couldn't make a sound. It was physically impossible. Her chest hurt and she couldn't breathe.   
  
She turned and began climbing the stairs to get back to ground level. Her feet moved faster and faster as she tried to outrun another image of Angel with someone else, this time someone who was probably her enemy in at least one dimension. She couldn't even form coherent thoughts. All she could see was Angel in bed with Faith, over and over in Technicolor.   
  
Buffy ran, again, as fast as her borrowed, scarred legs could take her.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Faith's Apartment   
  
Sultry music with a hard, base beat filled the room. Faith stood near the stereo, her hands resting on the top of it. She began to sway seductively to the beat. For a moment, she let the music sweep her away. Dancing and music could invade her body and take over. Soon, there was no more Faith. Just the music. Just the rhythm and the flow of her body.   
  
Angel lounged on Faith's bed, polishing a knife until its blade gleamed.   
  
"I hate a clean knife." He inspected the knife with a thoughtful air. "It really needs a good coating of blood to bring out it's natural beauty."   
  
His words broke through Faith's music haze. Her lips curled up in an eager smile. Angelus was even more fun than she anticipated. Sure, there was the danger that he might plunge that blade into her heart... or try to, at any rate. But, the danger just made it all the more fun.   
  
"We can do something about that."   
  
"Like what?"   
  
She swayed closer to the bed, keeping in time with the booming base, twitching her hips rhythmically. She arched her back with pleasure when she noticed his eyes linger on her hips appreciatively.   
  
"There's a slayer out there who really needs some of your love and attention."   
  
Angel rolled his eyes. "Been there. Done that. Over it."   
  
Faith pouted. "You aren't aching to see that B gets hers?"   
  
"Not really." Angel flipped the knife lazily in the air and caught it by the hilt. "Sure, it'd be great if someone tortured and offed the bitch, but why should I bother? I can be off the continent in hours. Before poor, little Buffy knows what happened, I'll be back on some of my old stomping grounds. The Hellmouth's not going to let up any time soon, so I'll have it made. All of Europe as my slayer-less playground."   
  
"You should care because I want you to." Her pout morphed into a frown.   
  
"And why should I care about what you want?" He flipped the knife again. It's blade reflected the lights in the room like twinkling jewels.   
  
Faith stopped moving, stopped paying attention to the music. "Because I'm the one who brought you back. Me and..."   
  
"You and who?"   
  
She shook her head. Her voice took on that teasing quality again. "You'll find out soon enough."   
  
Angel flipped the knife again. Faith reached out and snatched it from midair. Seconds later, she straddled Angel on the bed and held the knife at his throat. "You don't want to make me sorry that I brought you back, do you?"   
  
"So, as repayment, I'm supposed to help you take care of Buffy."   
  
In spite of herself, Faith was impressed at his calmness. With a knife this big, she could slice his throat, and probably decapitate him before he could heal enough to fight her. And yet he just lay there, talking, like nothing was wrong. "That's it."   
  
He thought for a moment. "I'll make you a deal. Introduce me to your master, and then I'll help you with Buffy. I like to know who I'm working for."   
  
Faith nodded. "Agreed." She moved the life and began to slide her legs over him so she could get off the bed. "He's probably still at the office."   
  
But, before she could get off the bed, his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.   
  
"What's the rush?" He grinned, and then growled provocatively.   
  
Shivers ran down Faith's spine. Buffy might've had Angel, but never like this. It was too good to pass up. She leaned down and pressed her lips to his. The mayor could wait a while.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Streets   
  
The mistress was long gone, leaving Xander surrounded by a pack of ferals. He clutched his stake, and tried to plot a logical plan of attack. He stopped that when he realized that, considering the odds, the logical outcome of this fight would be him as feral food. Xander wasn't going to let that happen.   
  
Two ferals rushed him at the same time. Xander kicked out at one, and punched the other in a complicated double move. He hit the ground and crouched, looking for the next attack. A female feral rushed him. He slammed an uppercut into her jaw and plunged his stake into her chest. She flew to dust around him. But dusting her didn't seem to limit his number of opponents. He could count six. More now than before he'd dusted her. Who knew how many more lurked in the shadows?   
  
One charged him from behind. Luckily, he heard the scrape of its feet against the asphalt. Xander turned and kicked it with all his strength. The feral flew back and hit a nearby tree. Xander heard its head crack against the trunk. The feral began to keen in pain. But he couldn't stop to think about it. The two he'd downed earlier were advancing, as well as a couple of new ones.   
  
A block away, the keening of the injured feral penetrated Buffy's ears, blowing past the picture of Angel and Faith in bed together. Her gut told her something unnatural made that noise. She began to track the sound. Oh, how Buffy longed for something to punch. She pulled a stake out from where she liked to keep one stashed, tucked in her waistband at the small of her back.   
  
When Buffy arrived on the scene, she stopped in amazement for a moment. Four ferals were attacking Xander at once. And he wasn't dead! She'd seen Xander fight, but usually in a bumbling, ineffectual way. Now he moved with precision and grace. He'd obviously had martial arts training. His moves were fluid and accurate. He threw one feral off only to face two more. Every so often, a feral would explode into dust at the end of Xander's stake. Buffy was spellbound by this new version of her happy-go-lucky friend. This version of Xander had more in common with Angel than with his counterpart in her dimension.   
  
But, despite his additional training, Xander was still human. His hits lacked the punch of a slayer or a vampire. The ferals didn't fly as far or stay down as long, especially as the battle progressed. Xander was getting tired. And that, eventually, led to a mistake. And in such a fight, one mistake could be fatal. And the ferals were getting tired of this game.   
  
Eventually, the numbers began to overwhelm him. Two ferals attacked him from the front, while two others managed to pin his arms from behind.   
  
"You won't take me to your mistress alive," Xander threatened. A male feral just hissed in pleasure and aimed his fangs for Xander's throat.   
  
Buffy flew into action. She charged into the group, stake flying. She managed to dust five of the creatures before the ones holding Xander captive knew what was going on. Buffy's entrance gave Xander the moment of distraction he needed. He was able to fight free of the ferals who pinned his arms, and he staked one of them.   
  
"Watch out!" he yelled at Buffy.   
  
She turned and saw two ferals bearing down on her. Her kicks and punches rained quickly. No feral touched her that didn't get dusted. Xander dusted several more, as well. He turned from the last one to find Buffy straddling one last feral, punching it over and over in the face.   
  
Slowly, he made his way to her side, only now able to give in to the pain he felt where a feral had gouged his knee. He favored his left leg slightly. Blood seeped from the wound, discoloring his pants.   
  
"Buffy."   
  
She didn't stop.   
  
"Buffy!" This time he grabbed her shoulder. He didn't know what was wrong. Maybe this was just her way of making the undead pay, but for some reason he doubted it. This seemed more like the release of pain or stress or... something.   
  
Buffy stopped pummeling the creature and staked it. Xander helped her to her feet.   
  
"You OK?" he asked her.   
  
She couldn't stop a wry smile. "I should be asking you that. I wasn't the one fighting a mob of those things for who knows how long." Her gaze traveled down his bruised face to the wound on his knee. "Are you OK?"   
  
"I'll be fine. But, I wasn't asking you if you were physically OK. I..." He paused for a second, unsure whether to continue. This Buffy never seemed to care about his opinions very much. But, he finished the thought anyway. "...I wondered what else was bugging you."   
  
Buffy couldn't stop the pictures in her head. Faith. Angel. Bed. She shivered. Xander reached down and touched her chin, gently forcing her to look him in the eye. She did so, and saw the warmth and compassion radiating from his brown eyes. And more... she could see the love there. Even if it wasn't for her, but for the girl who usually lived in this body... it still felt... nice.   
  
Without stopping to think, Buffy raised herself up to her toes and pressed her lips to his. In the back of her mind was the ghost of a thought [Faith can have him]. Feeling anything... having anything to concentrate on other than Angel and Faith was bliss.   
  
Neither of the teenagers noticed the one last, hiding feral sneak away to report back to her mistress.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
The Back of Oz's Van   
  
"Mmmmmm." Sonya stretched languidly and then nestled her head back on Oz's shoulder. "That was... amazing."   
  
"Mmmm-hmmm," Oz agreed.   
  
With a sigh, Sonya sat up and began, reluctantly, to find her discarded clothing. "I guess we have to go inside, though. Check on the spell to send back psycho-Buffy and everything." A smile softened her face as she looked over at her boyfriend. "I'd rather stay out here with you, though."   
  
Oz buttoned his jeans and pulled his green T-shirt on over his head. As Sonya finished dressing, he knelt and looked inside the picnic basket.   
  
Noticing, Sonya commented, "Lose something?"   
  
"Found something," Oz replied. He held out his right hand to her and pulled her back over to the blankets and pillows.   
  
Sonya came willingly. "What are you talking about?"   
  
When she was sitting, Oz sat cross-legged, facing her, his left had clenched in his lap. "You."   
  
Her heart began to beat a little faster in response to the intense look in his eyes. Oz didn't say anything else. He just opened his clenched fist to reveal a small, black velvet box. He gently placed the box in her hand. Her hand trembled. She opened it. Inside, on a bed of blue velvet, was a sparkling, diamond ring. As far as diamonds went, it wasn't very big. But it was the biggest one Sonya had ever had the option of owning. She looked up at him, tongue tied.   
  
Oz looked straight into her eyes, leaving no doubt of his sincerity. "Marry me?"   
  
She looked back at the diamond, thoughts flashing through her mind at the speed of light. She'd always assumed she would never do the marriage thing. Of course, for a long time she thought she'd never do the boyfriend thing, either. They were so young. Didn't most high school marriages end in divorce? And what if the magic that allowed her to walk, that allowed her to feel anything below the waist, vanished someday? Would he be able to life with half a person? Would it even be fair to ask him to? But... she loved him.   
  
"You're my dream come true. No one else," Oz told her. Then, as if he'd read her mind, he added, "We can wait until after graduation, or whenever you're ready. I love you. No matter what." He looked straight into her eyes. "Even in a wheelchair."   
  
When he said that, all her doubts vanished for the moment, and she knew what she wanted to do more. Sonya hurled herself into Oz's arms and cried, "I would love to marry you, Oz!"   
  
He let out a huge sigh of relief and hugged her back with all his strength.   
  
In response to that sigh, Sonya asked, "Did you think I'd say no?"   
  
"Possible." He caressed her cheek and then tapped her temple. "A lot goes on up there." Then he slid the ring on her finger, and they both admired it in the glow of the Christmas lights strung across the van's ceiling. There was a little more kissing, too, but soon the lovers had to come back down to Earth.   
  
"I guess we should..." Oz nodded toward the house.   
  
"Yeah."   
  
Sonya opened the van's sliding door and stepped out onto the street. "C'mon," she challenged him. "Last one in is..."   
  
"Dinner?"   
  
Hands, tiny but strong, clamped down onto Sonya's shoulders. She tried to fight, but the grip held firm. Fangs sunk into her neck with a sharp pain and she felt her life force being sucked away...   
  
Oz rolled out of the van and right into Sonya and the feral queen. He pushed them onto the grass, breaking the vampire's hold on his fiancée. Then something else barreled straight into Oz. A snarling feral. Oz slammed his arms up and into the thing's chest. He managed to surprise it and get it off of him for a moment.   
  
"Uh-uh."   
  
He turned to face the ethereally beautiful vampire. She held an unconscious Sonya in her grasp. Blood soaked one side of her neck and the collar of her shirt.   
  
"What do you want?" Oz asked. Behind him, the feral, Jaques, rose to all fours and snarled at Oz. But Jaques kept his distance after a look from his mistress.   
  
"Come with me," she said, "or the girl dies."   
  
Oz looked from Sonya to the house. Could her healing factor heal a broken neck? If he screamed, would the people inside hear him in time?   
  
The vampire obviously knew what he was thinking. "I wouldn't try that, if I were you. I'll be gone before they can get out here. And, if you don't come with me, I'll give her to my pets, like Jaques there, when I get her home."   
  
Jaques butted the back of Oz's legs. Two vampires against one human with Sonya's life on the line. Them weren't good odds.   
  
"I'll come," Oz told her.   
  
Her laugh tinkled through the night. "Good boy." 


	15. Chapter 15

Found this sitting on my hard drive and decided I should get it up here. It's really late, I know, but maybe somebody will appreciate it. I have the next two parts lined up as well, so they'll be up soon. :-)

* * *

Title: In the Space of a Lifetime (15/17)

Series: Destiny Lost, part 4

Authors: Sonya and Erin

Rating: R ***WARNING - this part is much higher on the violence quota than most of them, if you've got a weak stomach, consider yourself warned***

Category: B/X, O/S, AU, action adventure, romance

Chronology: This takes place about a month after "The Princess and the Professor," the final installment of "Destiny Found," the relationship-oriented series of one-shots that followed "In the Space of a Journey." We recommend that you read the whole series ("In the Space of a Heartbeat," "In the Space of Desire," "In the Space of a Journey" and "Destiny Found") before reading "In the Space of a Lifetime," or you'll be way confused.

Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. (But since they don't seem to want Doyle any more ::sob:: can we have him?) All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up, such as Sonya Parker and Aidan O'Shea.

Distribution: Regulars... SURE! Newbies... ask and you shall receive!

Archive: Penumbra - Erin and Sonya's fanfic archive, which includes all of Destiny Lost!

Feedback: It's vital! We need to know you're out there! (But no flames please.)

Spoilers: nothing major

Author's Note: Last time, in the Jossverse, Angel and Faith get closer as Angel is forced to put the undercover plan to find out who Faith is working for into operation, and, after a fight with his parents, Xander crashes on the Summers' couch. Meanwhile, in the Destinyverse, Faith and Angel declare their love for each other, Buffy walks in on them in an intimate moment, freaks out, and, after helping Xander battle ferals, Buffy kisses him - and, on the other side of town, Oz and Sonya are kidnapped by the Mistress of the ferals.

Hope the recap helped. If you need more than that, check out our fanfic archive.

If you enjoy this part, despite the delay, let us know with feedback. We love it! :-)

* * *

Part 15

The Streets of Sunnydale

For a split second, Xander could fool himself that he was kissing his Buffy. The taste of her, the smell of her... it was so familiar.

Longing almost overwhelmed him. But his heart wouldn't let him forget. He could tell the subtle differences between the Buffys, even in this. It was all so familiar... and yet off somehow. He couldn't pretend that away.

He pushed her away. She looked up at him, her eyes dewey and shell-shocked.

"Don't." His voice was colder than he meant it to be. She was obviously hurting about something. He could still read some of her signals. But Xander was mad, too. Mad that she would take his commitment to the other Buffy... the real Buffy... so lightly.

"Don't what?" Buffy challenged him, drawing closer again. "Don't kiss you? Don't touch you?" Her voice lowered to a rough whisper. "I always said I'd thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving my life. You brought me back to life when the Master drowned me. CPR."

Xander put distance between them, and held his ground. "Good to know my counterpart is good for something. The Master was pretty dangerous... That's how Sonya got paralyzed."

"Sonya is paralyzed?"

"She was... before she killed this evil sorcerer guy..." Xander shook his head. "Long story."

"That's cool. I don't need to know." She moved closer again.

"What are you running from?" Xander asked, keeping his distance. "I know you're not running to me. You've made your contempt visable enough since you've been here."

"Don't you want me?" Buffy asked, capturing his gaze with her own and holding it.

"Yes," Xander admitted, "but it's not going any farther. I'm not going to cheat on the woman I love."

"How could you tell the difference. It's her body."

"I can tell."

"I don't believe you."

"Then don't," Xander replied matter-of-factly. "But that doesn't change the facts. And I'm not falling for what you're doing. F.Y.I., I know something's bugging you, and you're trying to use me to make yourself forget whatever it is." He been pondering what it could be, and he thought he'd finally hit on it. Based on what he knew about this Buffy, it was the only thing that made sense. "It's Angel, isn't it. Angel and Faith? They try to keep it quiet, but everyone knows that there's something between them. They're good for each other, actually. You don't know what they were like before... both of them."

Buffy had paled while he was talking. He'd guessed it in one try. Somehow... he did know her. "You don't know anything about Angel! No one here does. Except me... and Jenny Calendar."

Ms. Calendar was not the name Xander had expected Buffy to mention at this juncture. His only response was, "Uh... what?"

Buffy was getting herself worked up by this point. "Angel and Faith. Besides the fact that it's totally freaksome... it's dangerous. They are risking everything right now, what they're doing. Sex and Angel... it's a bad combination. Appocalyptic even."

Xander shook his head, unsure if he'd heard correctly. "Sex? Angel? Why?"

The story would have come out now even if she'd tried to stop it. "Damn Jenny Calendar and the damn gypsies! They put a curse on him to give him his soul, but there was a loophole. One moment of pure happiness and wham! Soul gone because it's no longer a curse. Believe me... it happened."

"You and Angel?" Xander asked. "And it cost him his soul?"

Buffy nodded, tears swimming in the corners of her eyes. "It was all my fault. And the world almost ended because of it. His evil side is nothing to sniff at. He had evil down to an art form."

"But... from what I've heard, Angel and Faith have been... you know... for months now."

"Maybe it wasn't enough to give him a moment of pure happiness." A small smile crossed Buffy's lips. "Maybe she can't make him happy. Maybe he's not really in love with her!"

"We've gotta go tell him. Now!" Xander said. "Right now. He does love her, and if something gives him one of those moments..." Suddenly, he stopped. "But, if this is all true, why wouldn't Ms. Calendar tell us the truth?"

"Because she was sent here to watch him. She's a descendent of the gypsies that cursed him. She was in love with the Giles in my dimension, and even that didn't make her tell us the truth. She can't be trusted."

Xander started to run, but the wound on his leg from the fight with the ferrals slowed him down to a limp. "Go on. I'll catch up."

Buffy shook her head and slid her arm behind his back. This time it wasn't sexual, it was support. "I'll help you."

* * *

Angel's Apartment

Pain. From inside. Angel bolted up suddenly. His legs tangled in the sweaty sheets, nearly pulling them off the bed as he struggled to his feet. He lurched and staggared his way to the bathroom.

"Angel?" Faith called sleepily. She heard the door to the bathroom shut, and pulled the sheets back over her naked body. She felt replete, but oh-so-tired. It didn't occur to her to wonder why a vampire suddenly needed to go to the bathroom. Instead, she snuggled back down and, surrounded by the smell of him, drifted back to sleep.

* * *

The Mistress's Lair

Sonya came back to consciousness slowly. Her neck hurt. The last few moments in front of the van flashed back to her and her eyes snapped open. She found herself in a cage. No chains or anything, but stiff, iron bars to block her way. She seemed to be in a cave. The rock floor was cool and hard against her skin.

Her hand moved up to her throat. She could feel tender, new skin there. Maybe a scar. But the healing factor still seemed to be doing its thing. Her heart was obviously still beating and she wasn't a feral.

Save for her, though, the cage was empty. Sonya stood and peered as far as possible outside of the bars. She couldn't see anyone.

"Oz?" she called. Sonya didn't know if she wanted him to answer or not. If he answered, at least she would know he wasn't dead. But, if he did answer, that meant he was a prisoner, too, which would not be of the good. He had no super powers to help him in these types of situations.

He didn't answer.

Sonya began to pace in her cell. She didn't like being pinned up, and she liked it even less after her time imprisioned while insane Watchers tested her healing factor with hours of torturous experiments. She yanked on the bars, but she could have saved herself the effort. Even if she still had the Slayer powers, she probably wouldn't have been able to move that thick metal.

When it became completely obvious that she was never getting out of here by herself, Sonya moved back into the corner and sat down. Her mind kept working on plans for escape. Maybe she could feign sleep and then jump whoever opened the cage. Assuming that someone did open the cage, and that she hadn't been just left here to die...

Wryly, Sonya wondered how well her healing factor would deal with starvation.

While she sat there, waiting for she didn't know what, something that sounded like a howl echoed down the corridor outside.

* * *

Faith's Apartment

Faith glared at Angel. The vampire seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He was supposed to be awake and servicing her needs. Or plotting evil plots with her. Something other than this sleeping!

"I'm bored!" Faith said loudly. Angel didn't move.

Disgusted, Faith rolled out of bed and put on her favorite pair of black, leather pants. She shoved her feet into her boots and put on a black T-shirt. Then she coated her lips in dark red lipstick. If Angel was going to sleep the night away, she was going to have a little treat for them both here when he woke up.

She grinned as she picked up her favorite knife and headed out of the apartment.

A few moments later, Angel slipped out of bed. It took him only a few seconds to put his clothes on and follow Faith outside, hoping against hope that she would lead him to somewhere that would allow him to find out the rest of her secrets.

* * *

The Chase Mansion

Doyle let Cordelia lean on him as he helped her into her house. She wasn't normally the type to lean, so he didn't tease her about it. They hadn't talked about their kiss back at the hospital. At the time it had seemed natural. Doyle's heart was still singing a little, but he didn't know what she was thinking. Maybe it had just been a post-injury reaction. Almost die, kiss someone to prove you're alive, that sort of thing. It didn't matter, though. He was still going to make sure she was well taken care of.

"Is there anybody here ta help ye, lass?" he asked as they headed for the stairs. He was a bit surprised that someone... one of her parents, a maid, or someone... didn't come out to see what had happened. Wouldn't the hospital call her house? Wouldn't someone notice that she didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning?

"No. Dad's at some business thing, and Mom... I think she's at a spa. Or shopping in New York, or something. And the servants have all gone home for the night."

She said it simply, as if it were quite the normal occurance, but Doyle's heart still twanged for her. She should have parents around who loved her, family around who cared that she'd been in the hospital. People to coddle her and make her feel better when she needed it - granted, she didn't need it often, but tonight seemed a night for coddling.

"If you could just help me get to my room, I can take it from there."

"Nonsense." Doyle smiled at her, taking most of her weight every time she had to step on her injured leg. "I'm goin' ta stay here wit' ye tonight, if that's OK. Ye shouldnae be alone after somethin' like this."

He had to duck his head a little to hear her reply. A whispered, "Thanks."

* * *

The Mistress's Lair

Oz woke up chained to a wall. He looked around. Smooth, stone walls. Thick chains. Bars over the entrance. Something black in the corner. He focused on the furry mound in the corner. It was something alive. He could see it breathing.

"Sonya!" he yelled.

"Your lover isn't near enough to hear you. I have many cages here. My babies need time to enhance their beastial natures before I give them their first meal."

Oz knew that voice. The mistress of the ferals appeared on the other side of the bars.

"What are you going to do with me."

"A little experiment. I need a way to make my babies stronger. New beast's blood, so to speak."

"I'm not a beast."

The mistress laughed. "Not now. But my babies can't handle a fully developed werewolf. They need someone... newer at the job. So I'm going to make them one."

"I thought that werewolves only came out at the full moon," Oz said.

The mistress held up something that looked like a tazer. "Sometimes modern technology is an amazing thing."

Oz looked over at the black lump. It seemed to be struggling to its feet.

"Ah... the tranquilzers are wearing off..." The mistress smiled.

The werewolf... for that's what the thing in the corner was, a large, black, hairy werewolf... finally found its feet. It looked at Oz hungrily. Before it charged the meal chained to the wall, the wolf leaned its head back and let out a long, loud howl...

* * *

The Summers House

Joyce couldn't sleep. The whole situation with Buffy and the switch, it didn't lend itself to sleep for the victim's mother. She kept wondered where her daughter was and if she was OK. And her mind also kept dwelling on this Buffy, and what things must've been like for her. The accident and all the things this Buffy had been forced to go through... Joyce was torn between grief for this Buffy, and a sense of relief that her daughter hadn't had to suffer the same fate.

She got out of bed and slid into her robe and slippers. With the practiced ease of a mother, Joyce walked silently to Buffy's room and opened the door a crack. Buffy was there, sleeping peacefully. Joyce stepped inside, and couldn't resist giving Buffy a kiss on the cheek. The sleeping girl didn't stir, and Joyce faded back out of the room again.

But sleep still seemed miles away. She went downstairs, taking care to step over the stair that creaked. She paused at the door to the living room to look at Xander, asleep on the couch. Poor kid. Something was wrong. Joyce didn't know what it was, exactly, but she knew there were few things that would make a boy unwilling to go home, and all the possibilities she could think of were bad.

He looked a little cold, curled up in a ball on the couch. He had a blanket, but it was a little thin, in her opinion. Joyce took an extra blanket from the closet, and laid it over him. Xander snuggled more deeply into the couch, and Joyce turned to go, her motherly impulse exorcised.

"Thank you."

She turned back and smiled at Xander, who was watching her sleepily. "Any time."

"I don't want to be any trouble."

"You and Willow are my kids just as much as Buffy is," Joyce told him. "It's no trouble." Then, she turned again and headed for the stairs, secure with the motherly knowledge that the two kids under her roof were off to the land of Nod.

* * *

Angel's Apartment

Faith woke up alone in Angel's bed. This time, she was fully awake. She sat up and looked around. The main room of the apartment was empty. No Angel lurking or brooding in the shadows. Faith couldn't help a small smile of satisfaction. Not that he had anything to brood about at the moment. Not after *that*.

"Angel?" she called.

She stepped out of bed, and began to dress. Sure, he might pull her clothes off again in a few minutes, if he was in the mood for round two, but that would be all the more fun.

The door to the bathroom opened. Angel stepped out. He, too, was fully dressed. He was wearing leather pants and a silk shirt. His hair was gelled. Not a strand out of place. She stepped closer to him. "Did you get all prettied up just for me?"

He grabbed her wrist and yanked her to him. Angel pressed his lips to hers, hard. Faith kissed him back, still unable to believe everything that had happened in the past few hours. She was in love. For the first timein her life, she was completely, and totally in love. And it was with a decent guy. One who wouldn't hurt her or use her. And one who wouldn't let her use him and who wouldn't walk away from her. Everything was perfect.

Angel growled.

Faith pulled back and grinned up at him. "That's exciting."

Roughly, Angel pulled her back to him again. Their teeth bumped as they kissed. A bad feeling crept up Faith's spine. She'd felt teeth like those before, but never on Angel! With all her strength, she pushed Angel away from her and looked up at his face. His ridged, fangy face.

"Angel?"

"Hi, honey. I'm home."

"What are you doing?"

"Thanking you. I owe you a ton, babe. I don't know how you did it, but you set me free."

Unable to deal, Faith shut her emotions up and channelled all that energy into her leg as she kneed Angel in the balls. When he winced, she jammed her elbow into his stomach, breaking his hold around her waist. She scampered backwards. He was between her and the door. And the only windows in his basement apartment were high in the ceiling. She might be able to reach one if she had a running start and used the bed as a spring board...

Faith and Angel started to run at the same moment. Angel, the one with supernatural powers, caught up to her easily, commando training or no. He grabbed her around the chest, pinning her arms to her sides. He dropped to the bed, taking her with him. Before she could move, he pinned her legs with his.

"Bastard!" Faith spat at him, refusing to cower in the face of her helplessness. "You've been stringing me on all along, haven't you? White picket fence, my ass! And I fell for it!"

"Hook, line, and sinker, baby," Angel replied. Before she could hurl another insult, his fangs were in her neck, and her life's blood coursed down his throat.

* * *

The Mistress's Lair

Sonya sat in her cell, staring at her engagement ring. She and Oz were engaged. Engaged! And then *this* had to happen. If only she could get five minutes alone with the Feral queen without bars standing between them!

Her wish wasn't to be granted, however. The mistress showed up with several of her feral minions hauling something dark brown and hairy. Sonya couldn't figure out what kind of animal it was, but it was obviously sluggish and hurt. It had wounds bleeding all over its body.

"Where's Oz?" Sonya demanded, glaring at the mistress.

"I've decided to put you two love birds in the same cage," the mistress said with a lilting laugh. "He's served my purposes well, and my babies are all the better for it." Sonya noted that the ferals dragging the animal did have a bright-eyed look to them. Whatever had happened, it was definitely not for the greater good.

The mistress started unlocking the cage. Sonya guaged the distance between her and the feral queen, but with all the ferals around her, Sonya knew she didn't have a chance.

"You're going to try to kill Buffy, aren't you?" Sonya asked. "And I'm the bait?"

"I could care less about the Slayer," the mistress replied. "But the lawyer paid me well enough, and I got to perform some experiments... as well as even the odds for him."

The ferals thrust the animal inside and locked the door again.

"Where's Oz?" Sonya demanded. "You said you were putting him in here with me!"

The mistress smiled. "I just did." Then she and her minions turned and walked away. Sonya looked at the animal in horror. What was it? How could *that* creature be Oz? Sonya knelt by the animal and touched its fur. Her hand came back sticky with blood and animal hair.

"Oz?" Sonya whispered. "Oz, is that you? What did she do to you?"

Suddenly, the animal opened its eyes and looked straight at her. Then it began to growl...

* * *

The Summers' House

Faith looked up at the house. She used to envy Buffy this place. Now, compared with her new freedom, it looked like a prison. It was easy for a Slayer to climb up to Buffy's window. The window slid smoothly up under the pressure of Faith's hand.

"In a town like Sunnydale, you'd think people would be more careful about security," Faith muttered as she ducked into the room. She paused by Buffy's bed and looked down at the other girl, sleeping peacefully.

Grinning, Faith pulled her knife out of its holster and touched Buffy's cheek with the point. Buffy's eyes flew open, but before Buffy could scream, Faith clamped her hand down over the other Slayer's mouth.

"Listen, and listen good," Faith hissed. "You're coming with me, and you're not making any noise. So much as one peep from you, and Joyce is dead meat."

Buffy swallowed and nodded. Faith removed her hand. Buffy sat up. Faith's eyes narrowed.

"What's that, B? A tear? Scared for your mom, huh? I don't blame you. You're probably also wondering what I'm doing here. Once we're outta here, I'll fill you in on all the gory details. Promise."

Buffy stood up just as the tear in question rolled down her cheek. Faith gestured toward the door with the knife. "Move. I'll be right behind you, so no funny business or Joyce meets the business end of my knife."

The door opened silently under Buffy's hand. Both girls stopped in surprise when they saw Angel standing in the doorway. Buffy looked up at the vampire hopefully.

Faith just grinned. "Lover... I didn't expect you to wake up so soon. I was bringing you a surprise."

"I'm a light sleeper."

Buffy's face fell as Angel moved to stand beside Faith. As she watched, he leaned down and nuzzled Faith's neck. Buffy looked behind her into the dark hallway. Could she make it to her mother's room before they caught her?

"Don't even think about it, B," Faith warned, pushing Angel away. "We're both stronger and faster than you are." She pointed toward the door with the knife blade again. "Now, like I said before, move. And not one peep outta ya."

* * *

The Mistress's Lair

Sonya backed up until her back came against the stone wall of her cell. It still wasn't far enough from the growling animal staring at her. It was wavering on its feet. Bloody patches and vampire bites matted its fur together in a sticky mess.

"Oz?" Sonya whispered. "Oz, if you're in there somewhere, it's me. Sonya. Your... fiancee."

The wolf advanced slowly.

"I don't want to hurt you," Sonya said bravely. *And I don't want you to hurt me.*

The werewolf lunged at her. Sonya kicked out. Her foot connected with the wolf's jaw and sent it staggaring backwards. It moved slowly and awkwardly, but it outweighed Sonya. The analytical part of her mind was shocked that short, little Oz could turn into something to big and hairy and strong, but apparently he had.

The next time the wolf made a move, it charged her. Sonya kicked and punched. Most of her blows connected with the large target, but they didn't affect him for long. The cage was too small of an area. He... it... had her pinned close to the wall. She smacked its muzzle full of slobbery teeth away from her and it snapped at her hand. Teeth found their way into her soft, human flesh. Sonya hit its muzzle with her other hand, forcing it to open its jaws and free her. The wound ached. She continued to fight, but she didn't have enough room to maneauver. And she had no weapon. The wolf's claws scraped large gashes in her side through her shirt. It managed another bite on her leg. Sensing victory, the wolf lunged and managed to get her pinned to the floor. The wounds on her hand were already healing. They tore and hurt anew as the wolf's teeth bit through her hand again.

"Oz?" Sonya whispered. "Oz... it's me... I love you."

She screamed as the werewolf's teeth closed in on her neck...

* * *

Parts Unknown

"It's time."

"You got the approval."

"Start the ritual."

"Thank the lord. Things was gettin' way too mixed up down there. This ain't the way it's supposed to be."

"Well then, shut up and let's begin!"

As one, three voices began to chant...

* * *

The Chase Mansion

Cordelia lay in her bed, and for the first time she wasn't alone. She felt safe in the circle of Doyle's arms. Under his T-shirt, she could feel his muscles. He was surprisingly well built underneath his truly horrible clothing. They hadn't had sex. As if! Besides, even if she was tempted, Cordelia was too weak for such exertions... blood loss and everything. They'd snuggled in her bed, talking, getting to know each other for real, and occasionally kissing.

"I'm sorry for all the times I was mean to you, Doyle," Cordelia said, turning so she could look into his brilliant blue eyes.

"Think nothin' of it, princess," Doyle replied. The feelings in his voice carressed her ears and she shivered.

"Are ye cold, lass?" he asked, concerned.

"No," Cordelia replied. "Just thinking. Why don't you care that I was mean to you?"

"I knew ye didn't mean it," Doyle replied simply. "Underneath it all, I was certain that ye loved me, and see, I was proven right. Finally."

"Good things come to those who wait?" Cordelia asked.

Doyle just snuggled more closely against her. After a moment, he said, "I need to thank ye fer somethin', princess."

"What?"

"I was a mess before I met up wit' all of ye in England. Knowin' the group, and especially knowin' ye, has given me a precious gift. Faith in the world again. Even if ye'd never loved me back, I still would have thanked you fer that."

"I wish this night would never end," Cordelia whispered. "I don't want to have to deal with feral vampires and switched Buffys and all the other stuff that's waiting for us out there."

Doyle leaned in and gave Cordelia a soft, sweet kiss. "We can always take it with us, in our hearts. As long as we remember this, we'll never lose it."

Cordelia smiled. "I'll never forget this. I'll never forget you." Then she leaned over and returned his kiss.

* * *

The Mistress's Lair

When Oz came to, his first sense was an odd feeling of fullness. Then he realized two things. He was sticky and naked. He opened his eyes and found himself back in a cage. His last memory before the blackout was being bitten by the giant wolf thing and then the shock of the Mistress's tazer.

He turned his head. At first he couldn't make sense of what he saw. Body parts with wounds frozen in various stages of healing. But even a healing factor can't reattach an arm... or other things. A ring glinted on a finger. Oz began to vomit. The heaves shook his whole body as despair began to creep over him.

Something rattled. Oz looked up and saw Jaques at the bars. The feral stuck his hand through the bars and a knife clattered down to the floor.

The knife became the only thing in Oz's vision. He crawled his way toward it through the muck and mess in the cage. He picked it up and turned it over in his hand. It was so clean. That was his last thought before he plunged the knife home into his belly...

* * *

Outside Angel's Apartment

Buffy and Xander made good time, considering his injury. They paused only for a moment outside the building.

"What are we going to do if they are mid..." Xander paused. "Um... you know... still..."

"Having sex?" Buffy said bluntly. "We're going to stop them. Angel has to know the truth, the risk he's taking. Angel without a soul is... someone you don't want in your playground."

Xander nodded. He hadn't had the personal experience with evil Angel this Buffy had, but he had read stories in the Watchers' Diaries and heard others from the vampire's own lips. "Ready?"

"Let's go. On three."

Buffy counted down silently, using her fingers, and then she threw open the door.

Xander thought he was prepared for anything: Angel and Faith in bed, Angel vamped out, Angel and Faith fighting... But he wasn't prepared for what he actually saw.

The door opened with a bang, and Buffy, followed as quickly as possible by Xander, surged into the apartment. At first, Xander thought they *were* having sex. Then he realized they were fully clothed. And Angel's fangs were out. And he was feeding on Faith! And Faith lay limp in his arms, her fash ashen from lack of blood!

"We're too late!" Buffy cried.

"No!" Xander yelled, and charged Angel. His knee snapped he when put all his weight on it, sending him falling toward the bed instead of leaping toward it.

Angel laughed, letting Faith's body fall to the floor and leered at Xander. "A Slayer *and* a Watcher. Tonight just keeps getting better and better! Hiya, Xand. Did I mention how glad I am that you're home?"

Buffy pulled out a stake and leapt between Angel and Xander. Without a word, she punched him in the face. Drops of blood lingering around his mouth spattered. One of them hit Xander's cheek. Faith's blood on his face. Hoping against hope, Xander crawled toward Faith. "Petunia?" he whispered, checking for vital signs. "Can you hear me? Hold on a little longer. I can call an ambulance." But it was no use. He couldn't fool himself. She was dead.

Limping even worse now, Xander hauled himself to his feet and grabbed the nearest weapon. A chair. The next time Buffy punched Angel, Xander swung the chair. It shattered against Angel's skull.

"That hurt!" Angel growled. Buffy jumped on him. Angel kicked her away. Her head cracked against the dresser, and then she hit the wall. She groaned, so Xander knew she wasn't dead, but it would take her some time to get it together after a blow like that. Xander pulled holy water out of his pocket and threw it at Angel. Angel dodged the bottle neatly. Xander threw a lamp. It hit Angel in the shoulder, but didn't phase him.

"Xander, Xander, Xander," Angel said conversationally. "You really shouldn't have ticked me off."

The vampire threw a punch, but Xander had studied a lot of fighting since the last time they'd sparred. Even with an injury, he was able to dodge. They parried blows for a couple of minutes, then Angel said, "Screw this." He kicked Xander's injured knee, and Xander went down.

"Angel! Get away from him!" Buffy yelled, struggling to her feet. Blood gushed from a wound on the side of her head, where her head had hit the corner of a dresser on its way to bash into the wall.

"Don't worry about me," Xander ordered Buffy. "Just stop him!"

"Shut up," Angel growled. "Actually, it will be more fun for me to shut you up!" He pulled Xander in front of him, and prepared to snap his neck. Buffy was moving toward the combatents when, suddenly but without a sound, she vanished. Forgetting for a second that they were now enemies, Xander and Angel looked at each other and said, "Huh?"

* * *

The Summers' Residence

Buffy, followed by Angel and Faith, had reached the head of the stairs when Joyce's door opened.

"Mom, go back," Buffy cried.

"Honey? What's going on?" Joyce looked from Buffy to Faith and then to Angel. "More guests at this hour?"

"Too late, B," Faith replied. "She's seen us. I gotta do it." Faith lunged toward Joyce with the knife. Buffy and Angel moved toward them at the same instant, but it was too late. Faith pulled her knife out of Joyce's stomach. Joyce gave Buffy one horrified look before she fell to the floor.

"Noooo!" Buffy screamed. She lunged at Faith, but she'd never fought a Slayer before. She wasn't ready for the strength behind Faith's punch. The girls grappled for a moment, and then Faith kicked Buffy in the stomach. Hard. Buffy felt the world spin as she plunged down the stairs. The one thought in her head was *Run, Xander!* But all that came out of her mought was a tiny moan as her head hit the bannister.

Upstairs, Faith grinned at Angel. "I told you this would be fun."

Angel's expression was horrified. Faith's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong?" That's when she understood. "This was all a set up! You didn't change at all, did you?"

"You fell for it, Faith," Angel replied in a hoarse voice. "Hook, line, and sinker."

Faith let out a yell of rage and lunged for the vampire. Angel punched her in the nose and leapt over the bannister. He landed on the first floor lightly and turned to see about Buffy.

"You're not getting away from me that easily!" Faith jumped down after him, landing on his back and knocking him to the floor. She reached out and grabbed a vase Joyce had brought home from the gallery that sat on the hall table. Faith smashed the vase over Angel's head. He slumped to the floor, unconscious.

But, by this time, Buffy had regained her equilibrium and had pulled herself to her feet.

"You and your boy toy are fools," Faith spat. "You think the Mayor will let any of you live if you kill me?"

Buffy, of course, had no idea what Faith was talking about or what a revelation that was. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to fight this creepy, murderous version of Faith.

"You killed my mother! You are going to *wish* that I let you go with just a knife in the gut," Buffy hissed.

"You and what army, B?" Faith asked, extending her hands in a questioning gesture as she looked around the entry hall. "I don't see anyone left. It's just you and me, girlfriend. And I'm going to enjoy this. When I get through with you, I'll be at the Mayor's right hand and you'll be six feet under."

"Or maybe I'll just go home," Buffy replied.

Faith gave Buffy a quizical look. That wasn't the response she had expected. "Are you going insane now, or what?"

Buffy used Faith's moment of distraction to land a serious right hook on her jaw. She followed that with an upper cut to the jaw and a kick to the stomach. Faith lurched backwards and dropped her knife. Buffy advanced, pausing only to kick the knife away, into the living room. Faith reached out and grabbed Buffy's arm as it sailed toward her in a punch. She used Buffy's momentum against her, as she flipped Buffy and pushed her through the archway into the living room. As she hit the floor, Buffy had one second to notice that the couch was empty before Faith was on her again.

The Slayers were a blur of punches, kicks and tosses. They were pretty much equally matched. The knew the same moves from countless Watcher training sessions. They could take the same kind of damage, and they knew where to hurt each other. Soon each sported welts and bruises. But Faith got the first lucky moment. A well-aimed kick sent Buffy flailing back into the television set, which crashed from its stand and on to Buffy's foot. There was an audible crack and Buffy went down. Faith grinned, sure of victory. She took the time to cross the room and pick up her knife.

"This ain't somethin' to be done halfway," Faith said, gently wiping the blade clean. "Death can be art, if you know what you're doing."

Buffy pulled her foot free from the heavy television and almost screamed with the pain. The room spun around her. She couldn't set her foot down. Instead she stood on one foot, her arms extended a little as she found her balance.

"Do you think the freakin' Crane maneuver works in real life, Miss Karate Kid?" Faith challenged. Suddenly, she dropped to one knee and whipped her arm forward. There was a noise, and suddenly Xander rushed at Faith from the closet where he'd been hiding, waiting for the perfect chance to do some damage. He hit her just as the knife left her fingers. Boy and Slayer rolled on the floor, but the knife flew toward Buffy's chest. Faith grabbed Xander in a strangle hold. He struggled. Buffy jumped, all her weight on her good foot, to avoid the knife flying toward her heart. But, with only one good foot, her aim was gone. Faith and Xander froze on the carpet to see if Buffy would be hit. She crouched into a ball in the air, and then she vanished. Poofed out of the air like she'd never been there at all.

The knife hit the wall with a thunk and stuck there. Forgetting for an instant that they were enemies, Faith and Xander looked at each other and said, "What the hell?"

* * *

Next time: Where did the Buffys go? You'll find out if you keep tuning in. :-)

What did you think of this part? Too much calamity? Not enough? Let us know with some feedback!


	16. Chapter 16

Title: In the Space of a Lifetime (16/17)

Series: Destiny Lost, part 4

Authors: Sonya and Erin

Rating: PG

Category: B/X, O/S, AU, action adventure, romance

Chronology: This takes place about a month after "The Princess and the Professor," the final installment of "Destiny Found," the relationship-oriented series of one-shots that followed "In the Space of a Journey." We recommend that you read the whole series ("In the Space of a Heartbeat," "In the Space of Desire," "In the Space of a Journey" and "Destiny Found") before reading "In the Space of a Lifetime," or you'll be way confused.

Disclaimer: We do not own Buffy or any of the original characters or ideas from the show. They all belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, etc. (But since they don't seem to want Doyle any more ::sob:: can we have him?) All we own is our own creative genius (unless that's too strong a word :) and any characters we make up, such as Sonya Parker and Aidan O'Shea.

Distribution: Regulars... SURE! Newbies... ask and you shall receive!

Archive: Penumbra - Erin and Sonya's fanfic archive, which includes all of Destiny Lost!

Feedback: It's vital! We need to know you're out there! (But no flames please.)

Spoilers: nothing major

Author's Note: Last time, in the Jossverse, after Joyce is killed by Faith, Angel, Buffy and Xander try to stop the rogue slayer. Meanwhile, in the Destinyverse, Cordelia and Doyle grow closer, while Oz and Sonya become victims of the Mistress's plan to strengthen her ferals. Also, Angel loses his soul after a moment of happiness with Faith and kills his lover - Buffy and Xander walk in on the murder and try to stop the rogue vampire. At the same moment in both dimensions, the Buffys disappear.

Hope the recap helped. If you need more than that, check out our fanfic archive (address above).

Also, with the confusion of two Buffys in the same room, remember this: "the first Buffy" refers to the first Buffy we see in this part (Destiny Buffy), and, therefore, "the second Buffy" refers to the second Buffy we see (Joss Buffy).

If you enjoy this part, let us know with feedback. We love it! :-)

* * *

Part 16

Parts Unknown

One moment, Buffy was jumping trying to avoid the knife Faith threw at her. The next moment, without prelude, she found herself in a large, white room. Everything glowed with the perfect whiteness - the walls, the floors, the ceiling. She looked down at herself. She was barefoot and wore a thin, white, silk gown. It was embroidered with a beautiful floral pattern, also white. A lacey, white robe covered the gown. Then she realized something. Her foot didn't hurt anymore. She tested it. It worked fine. No pain. All the injuries of her fight with the brunette Slayer were gone. A morbid curiosity overcame her. She leaned down and pulled up the hem of her gown so she could see her legs. Scars. She had never before felt anything but loathing when she looked at the marks defacing her once lovely legs. Now she looked at them and felt a surge of joy.

*I'm me again!* was her first thought. Closely followed by *But where am I?*

"That's it. Now I know I'm insane!"

Buffy jumped at the unexpectedly familiar voice. She turned around and saw... herself standing there. But this version of herself looked different. It wasn't just the clothes - a white, satiny gown with spaghetti straps and no embroidery or lace. There was just something about how this "her" held herself, the expression on her face, that was different from what Buffy saw when she looked in the mirror every morning.

"You're her, aren't you?" she asked the other Buffy. "The girl I was switched with?"

The other Buffy was giving her the same scrutinizing look. "I was about to ask you the same question."

"Then I guess the answer is yes," the first Buffy replied. "You're the Buffy who fell in love with Angel and who never got hit by the truck."

"And you're the Buffy with the scarred legs who fell head over heels for Xander."

"I'm sorry I couldn't let you in to your body when you tried. I felt you. I didn't know how to get out of the way."

"I didn't know how to get you out, either. It was your slayerettes who figured out the astral projection thing anyway."

The Buffys fell silent and stared at each other. The quiet was almost overwhelming, especially considering what each of them had been going through before they appeared in this place. But, there was something about the calm silence and the glowing purity of the room that soothed both of their spirits. Despite days of anguish over each other's life choices and the angst that ensued, for the moment, neither Buffy was willing to embark on a diatribe or a litany of "How could you"s and "I told you so"s.

The second Buffy began to look at their surroundings a little more intensely.

"I've been here before."

"You have?"

"In a dream. Or... I thought it was a dream. Now, I'm thinking it wasn't."

"I thought maybe this was heaven. I was... there was a knife hurtling toward me. I tried to get out of the way, but I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. Then I was here." The first Buffy couldn't stop a tear as she remembered the knife in question cutting into Joyce's stomach. But... she didn't know how to say that out loud to the other version of herself.

"I was fighting, too. But it wasn't me who was about to die. I was trying to save... someone else." The second Buffy swallowed and looked away. She didn't know if Xander had made it or not. Considering Angel, probably not. But... this Buffy loved him. How could she tell her what had happened? There were no words for such a thing. The girls were beginning to get more anxious about the things that were going on back in Sunnydale. Both Sunnydales.

"Then, I guess it isn't heaven," the first Buffy said.

"In my dream, there were other people here."

"I haven't seen any."

The second Buffy scanned the horizon. The room seemed to go on and on forever. The, in the distance, she discerned a familiar, golden glow. "That way."

The first Buffy followed the second Buffy's gaze and saw the glow, slightly golden against all the pure white. "Should we go there?"

"There were women there. Two of them seemed OK and might help us, but the other... we'll have to watch out for her. She was scarey. And she had scissors."

"Watch out for scissors, check."

"I'm serious!"

"I believe you."

"And I'd better warn you, it takes a long time to get there."

"We'd better get started, then."

As one, the two Buffys stepped toward the golden light... and then they were there.

"Apparently the trip is shorter than I thought," the second Buffy muttered ruefully. The first Buffy just stood and took in the whole scene. There was a white screen with carved decorations (roses, cherubs, and such) sitting to one side. Just next to the screen was a white, marble sink, the kind you would see in any old fashioned beauty parlor. It had a notch in it, and someone's head rested against it. The screen blocked Buffy's view of the person with his or her head in the bowl, but she could see that the person had long, shiny, blonde hair.

A large woman with red hair teased into a beehive wearing a pink dress, a white apron, and pink rubber gloves leaned over the bowl, shampooing with a vengence. Her nametag read "Betty." The delicate scent of honeysuckle wafted from the bowl. The long, golden hair flowed out of the bowl coils.

A too-skinny woman with ironed, bleached blonde hair and garish eye makeup stood over the coils. Her dress was blue to match her eyeshadow, and her nametag read "Donna." Donna alternated between a hairdryer, a can of superhold hairspray, and a hairbrush as she styled and dryed the coils of hair. The coils seemed to be divided into two sections, each garnering its own table. Every once in a while Donna would whip out a curling iron and separate a lock from one coil to the other, creating a rather intricate pattern in the hair.

It was the woman in black who drew most of Buffy's attention, however. She hovered at Donna's side, wearing a black dress and a black hooded cloak. She was old and wrinkly, and her eyes were black. Completely black - no pupil, no iris, just black. She held a glittering pair of silver scissors in one gnarled hand. The old woman had a name tag (hard to see amongst the folds of her dark clothing, but there anyway) that read "Sue." Sue paced back and forth between the coils of hair, staring at them intensely with those jet black eyes. Every so often, she would lean down as if she were going to make a cut. Then she straightened and did nothing.

"You younglings have put us through a job of work, y'all hear that?"

Both Buffys stared at Donna, startled.

"We... uh... we didn't mean to," the first Buffy stammared.

The second Buffy cocked an eyebrow at the women. "Quit with the games. I'm not dreaming this time. You people must've brought us to this beauty shop of horrors, so quit with the small talk and tell us why!"

Donna smiled, her lips a red slash against her pale skin and even paler hair. "Do you know who we are, child?"

"I'm not *your* child!" the second Buffy snapped.

The first Buffy was staring at the set up, her eyes widening. "I... I know who you are."

The second Buffy stared at her counterpart in surprise. "How? Who...?"

Donna smiled gently at the first Buffy. "Explain, dear." The three women kept working as they spoke, but both Buffys could feel the three's eyes on them, especially the pair of inky black eyes.

"I read about you in a Greek mythology book, right?" the first Buffy asked. "I remember this story. There were three women spinning the threads of people's lives." Her eyes darted over to the woman in black. "The last one had scissors, and she cut each thread, determining when each person was going to die. You're the Fates!"

Betty and Donna exchanged looks.

"That's a smart one, all right," Betty said approvingly. "Right on the button."

The second Buffy pouted in the first Buffy's direction. "When did you start reading mythology?"

"Mom bought me some books after my accident," the first Buffy whispered in reply. "All sorts of topics to take my mind off being in the wheelchair."

"Oh."

Looking back at the women, the Fates, the first Buffy said, "What I don't understand is ... all this. Why you're here. Why you have a beauty shop. Why we're here!"

"Are you the ones that switched us?" the second Buffy demanded. "If so, you have to switch us back."

"We can't be here too long," the first Buffy added. "There are things going on back home. Things that need our attention. Important things. Life or death."

"Hush," Betty said.

"Don't worry about what was happening at home," Donna said. "This is a place out of time."

"And as for the venue," Betty added, "we decided a while back that we had to update our image. We'd been spinning thread for so long, we decided that we needed to go about this another way. And we've always had a hankerin' for beauty. Comes from all those years on Olympus, I suppose. Surrounded by all the gorgeous gods and goddesses. Now that we work for the Powers that Be, we're allowed a bit more freedom."

"Be quiet." Sue's voice was gravelly and harsh. "There are other, more pressing matters."

"She's right," Betty agreed. "We've got to talk about why you're here."

"It's about time," the second Buffy grumbled. The other Buffy just watched and waited.

"To explain a bit," Donna said, "we did bring you here." The word "did" was punctuated by an extra-enthusiastic spritz of hairspray.

"But we weren't the ones who switched y'all." Betty shook her head. "Y'all did that all by y'all's selves.

Buffy number one blinked. "If you are the Fates, doesn't that mean that nothing in life is an accident? That you three plan it all? So, how then, could you not be responsible for the switch... and... well... everything?"

"You can't forget about free will," Betty replied.

"Humans and their free will make things a little tricky," Donna added with a sigh. "It would be much easier if we could just plan it all out, but the Powers... they don't cotten to that."

Betty took over again, gesturing as she spoke, sending little droplets of shampoo flying. "Our job's a tad more complex than just a single bit of string, as you can see." She gestured toward the coils of hair. Some shampoo hit a dry piece of hair. Donna gave Betty a dirty look as she hurried to fix the mistake. Betty, oblivious, kept talking. "These days we have to plan an individual's fate for all sorts of instances. If she loves one person, events spiral in a different direction than if she loves another. Or no one at all. If she takes one job or the other." Betty's eyes narrowed on each Buffy in turn. "The possibilities are vast."

"Long ago, we had the power. Once I decreed that when a piece of wood in the fire burned to ash, a baby would die, and that was that." Sue's harsh voice took on a tone of longing. The Buffys winced at the idea of a baby's death. Sue continued, "Now it all requires much more well-thought-out circumstances."

Donna shook her head at Sue. "If I remember correctly, that baby's mother led us for a loop because of that piece of wood stipulation. Kept him alive for years grabbing that bit of wood out of the fire, and him with no Fate to guide him, fell into the worst ways! I wouldn't brag."

"Gals, please," Betty said.

"This is all fascinating," the second Buffy spoke up suddenly, "but would you please tell us what it means to us?"

Betty's hands came out of the shampoo bowl. "You are a champion, Buffy. You have an important role in times ahead. There are things that you must face that no one else is equipped to face. Without you, the world would be in serious peril. And the fate of others, your friends and loved ones, is tied to you, as well."

"And I thought killing my lover and sending him to hell was the worst thing I'd ever have to do," the second Buffy muttered. The first Buffy reached out and put a sympathetic hand on her counterpart's shoulder. Her counterpart actually found a smile in return.

"The Angel situation wasn't the hardest. Not by a long shot." Sue slapped her hand down on one of the tables with an audible smack. "Just wait until the Ascention... Glory... the First Evil... You have miles yet to go before you sleep." Her black eyes took in each Buffy, making it clear that though the second Buffy had been the one who spoke, Sue was speaking to both of them.

"There were two choices, one moment, and two dramatically different lifetimes," Donna said, setting down her hairspay. "Your calling to be the Slayer changed more than just your own history. It impacted more than either of you could possibly comprehend. And Time couldn't handle it."

"One minute, here we were with one coil of hair," Betty said in a dramatic stage whisper. "And the next minute, there were two." She held up two pink-gloved fingers to illustrate her point.

"The Powers didn't tell us what caused it, if they even know," Donna added. "It just... happened."

The Buffys stared at each other.

"The two of you aren't identical girls," Donna said. "You are the same girl. The same girl in two pieces. When Time went crazy and split your future in two, it split you, as well."

"And now it's got to be undone." Sue's harsh voice startled them all. "We have to put you back together."

"No!" the second Buffy exclaimed. "I don't want her life!"

"You're like a braid," Donna said in a soothing tone. "Each strand of hair alone is weak, vulnerable. But a braid is strong. It holds tightly and keeps its form."

"I don't understand," the first Buffy said. "Were all our friends split as well?"

"They were doubled," Donna said. "Each one was connected to his or her counterpart in the other world, and different circumstances produced different results, but you were the crux of the matter. Two pieces of the same whole each spinning out her own version of Time."

"We have to put it back together again," Betty told them. "Time must be repaired."

"We don't know what will happen exactly," Donna added. "This has never happened before. Will one world be chosen or the other? Even we don't know at this point. Perhaps it will be some combination of the two."

"Truthfully, we don't even know when y'all will end up," Betty interjected. "At the moment of your Calling. At the moment y'all switched. Present day... Hard to say."

The first Buffy began to cry. "Please don't do this. I love my life. *My* life, not her life. I don't want to be her."

"You think I want to be *you*?" the other Buffy yelled. "You're weak and snivelly. You got hit by a truck and almost lost the simple ability to walk. You fall in love with Xander Harris, and you depend on so many other people to help you do a job that you should be able to do on your own."

The Fates were silent as the Buffys fought.

"Like you do it all alone!"

"I have friends, but if it came down to it, I wouldn't need them. I could do it by myself."

"That's your problem! You don't know how to trust people. You fell in love with a *vampire,* and when he betrayed you, you shut down and stopped letting anyone in. You think I was blind in your world? I think not! I saw how they all looked at you. At me as you. They wanted to help, to be close, and yet they were all scared to."

"What if we refuse?" The second Buffy ignored the first Buffy's last comment and addressed the Fates. "What if we say we want to stay split, damn the consequences."

"Come back here behind the screen," Betty said quietly. "We'll show you."

The Buffys looked at each other, and then began to walk around the screen. When the rounded the side, passed the last cherebum, they both halted in their steps. The first Buffy gasped. The second Buffy quietly stared. Before them was another Buffy. This one was motionless. She lay quietly, in a white, terrycloth robe, her eyes closed. She didn't even appear to be breathing. The endless coils of blonde hair being washed and styled grew from the comatose Buffy's head.

"She's not you," Donna told them. "She's a representation of you, but she's not the real you. It just happens this way. If it wasn't your hair... well, then how could it be your fate?"

"Come 'round this way," Betty broke in. She gestured at the girls, her pink gloves flopping a little.

The girls walked forward until they were even with Betty and the basin full of hair. Betty turned on the water and began to rinse. She rinsed all the honey-suckle-scented shampoo out of the basin, and then filled it with clean water. As the water covered the coils of blonde hair, it became silvery and reflective.

The first Buffy squinted at the surface. Something glimmered and flashed. Something else flashed on the other side of the basin, and then a shadow flitted between the two. Both Buffys stared at the basin, rivited as the flashes and shadows slowly took shape...

*Faith sinking her knife into Joyce's stomach. Joyce falling to the floor.*

*Angel sinking his fangs into Faith's neck and draining her dry.*

*Sonya being mauled by the Ozwolf. Oz stabbing himself.*

*Faith bashing Xander's head into a busted television screen.*

*Angel snapping Xander's neck.*

*Angel devoured by a giant snake.*

*The mistress of the ferals launching a full-scale attack with her new and improved children - with high casualties.*

*Two soldiers - one white, one black - fighting a large cyborg-looking creature. The creature stabbed them both with a bone that flew from its arm, and both fell to the ground, dead.*

*Angel sinking his teeth into Jenny Calendar's neck. Aidan charging. Angel pulling a pistol out of his pocket and shooting Aidan in the stomach.*

*Cordelia, alone in a hovel of an apartment in L.A. A knock. A man. A flash of money on the bedside table.*

*Buffy coming home to find her mother on the couch, dead, drained of blood - a thank you note from Angel*

*Willow, addicted to magic. Eyes black. Burning up from the inside.*

*Amy and Rio, holding hands, chanting. Surrounded by vampires. Sheild spell faltering. Vampires swarming.*

*Ozwolf breaking free from his chains. Giles firing a silver bullet into its chest, a bloody bite mark on his leg.*

*A wedding. Cordelia and Doyle. Pregnant Cordelia dying on the operating table, along with the child.*

*Buffy struggling with the Giles wolf, alone, breaking its neck.*

*Buffy's limp, lifeless body falling from Angel's arms, his face streaked with her blood.*

*Buffy standing on a tower, watching a thin girl with dark hair run toward a shiney vortex. Just as the girl prepares to jump, a demon flying from the vortex crashes into the tower. The tower collapses. Both girls hit the pavement below. Dead.*

Both Buffys had tears running down their cheeks.

"Do y'all see now? See why we have to do this?" Betty waved her hand and the horrible images disappeared. "Half a champion isn't enough. Time needs the whole Buffy."

"Will things come out right then?" the first Buffy asked. "Will our friends... our loved ones... live?"

"It's hard to know exactly what will happen," Donna replied honestly. "Like we said, our job is subordinate to humans' free will. But, if the halves are together, at least there is a chance."

Sue pinned both girls with her black gaze. "You'll be whole, and then the decisions will depend on you."

"We'll be here, planning fates for you, of course," Betty added. "But your free will will decide the course of your life."

"Under the Powers, the Fates create fates, we don't decree them," Donna said.

The two girls looked at each other.

"I guess we don't have a choice," the second Buffy said.

"Guess not," the first one replied. "But... maybe it won't be too bad. Maybe things will work out perfectly."

"Maybe." The second Buffy didn't seem too sure, though.

"I just wish..."

"What child?" Donna asked the first Buffy.

"I just wish that I could say goodbye. I won't... it won't be me after this is all over. While I am still me, I just wish I could say goodbye."

The Fates exchanged looks.

"I think we could arrange somethin' for you," Betty said slowly.

"We can go back for a few minutes?" the first Buffy asked.

"No." Donna shook her head. "That won't do. You would have no peace. Things down there are chaos at the moment."

"We can bring one person here for you to say goodbye to," Sue decreed. "That's all we can do. And there are stipulations."

"Xander!" the first Buffy exclaimed. "Bring me my Xander. Please. I so want to see him one more time."

"I want my Angel." The second Buffy crossed her arms and glared at the Fates.

"I told you there were stipulations," Sue said. "Vampires are demons, contaminated. They cannot cross the threshold of our sanctuary." The second Buffy opened her mouth, but Sue cut her off. "We also cannot bring anyone who died in one world. That would destroy our balance. Throw things off kilter and all might be endangered."

The first Buffy gasped and gave her counterpart a teary look. "No Willow... no Mom..."

A few feet away, Betty and Donna had begun to chant. A golden glow appeared next to them. Slowly it formed itself into a recognizable shape. Then it solidified into Xander.

Xander opened his eyes. One minute, he'd been fighting Angel for his life. Now he stood in a white room. He looked around. Three strange women... and two Buffys. His face broke into a smile and he ran for the Buffy with the lacey robe. He scooped her up in his arms and kissed her passionately, without a doubt in the world about who she was. The other Buffy looked at Donna. "How did he know?"

"He's a smart one, that boy," Donna replied. "And true love always knows."

"Are you saying he's my true love?"

"I'm saying that nothing's written in stone. There are possibilities everywhere."

"Be fair, Donna," Betty said. "The vampire probably would have known which one was his, too."

"Probably," Donna admitted.

"Choose," Sue ordered the second Buffy.

Buffy's eyes went over to her counterpart. She and her Xander were still locked in a passionate embrace. "Xander?"

Before she could change her mind and ask for Giles, or Faith (who she wouldn't mind seeing just to beat the hell out of her), or anyone else, the chanting began. Moments later, light resolved itself into a shape very similar to the one that had come before. The profile and that distinct Xander shape were the same. But the clothes were different - cargo pants and a Hawiian shirt instead of the other Xander's more professional Watcher clothes. But there was something more. Something in the attitude. This Xander had never been offered the opportunity to train. He had the heart to jump into any battle, but he couldn't face multiple feral vampires and survive.

For his part, the newly-appeared Xander was taking it all in. No Faith trying to kill him. Point in the good column. Two Buffys. He grinned. Two points in the good column. Random women. Neutral. Freaky white room bearing some resembelance to his aunt's beauty parlor. Negative two. He looked over at one of the Buffys. She was snogging on some guy who looked kind of like...

"Hey!" he said loudly, looking at the other Buffy. "That's me! She's kissing me!" He turned toward the Buffy nearest him. "By the way, glad you're OK, Buff. I missed you. We all did."

A smile flickered on Buffy's face. "You can tell the difference between us?"

Xander looked between one girl and the other. "No contest. It's obvious."

Several feet away, the other Buffy and Xander had broken off their kissing upon the second Xander's arrival.

"So, that's what I could have been?" Xander murmured to his Buffy.

"You have the same heart," Buffy answered. She knew that was true - not only had she felt it herself, the Fates had confirmed it. "Just different circumstances."

Xander turned and cupped her face in his large hands. "I missed you so much. We were trying to find a way to bring you home."

Tears glistened in Buffy's eyes. "I know. And I missed you, too." She swallowed, then she took one of his hands and held it in both of hers, her fingers gently stroking it. "Xander... I just want you to know how much I love you."

"I know that." He grinned and his eyes twinkled. "You're my girl. You have been since the first moment I saw you."

"English class."

He smiled again. "Haikus."

"I... I just want you to know that I would never trade anything we've had together. You've been the best part of my life. The thing that I could count on."

"Not always."

"Yes, always." Buffy nodded emphatically. "Even when I was scared, underneath I still knew that I could count on you. And I... this is weird, but... I don't know what's going to happen next. This place... when we leave here, things may change. But there's nothing we can do about it. They showed us the future. Something happened to mess up Time, and it's got to be put right. If not, people are going to die and they aren't supposed to." A little sob caught in her throat. "When things are fixed, we might not be together anymore."

To his credit, Xander didn't dispute anything Buffy said. He could tell there was great power here, and an experienced evil-fighter like himself could tell that it whatever was here was ancient and powerful, but not evil. From the moment the other Buffy had disappeared from Angel's apartment, Xander had known that something big was going on. He tipped Buffy's head up so he could look straight into her eyes. "There is one thing I know for sure. No matter how time throws us together, I will always love you. You will always have my heart Buffy Summers."

"And you'll always have mine," Buffy whispered, though a sneaking doubt in her mind, born of her time in the other version of reality, made her wonder if she could really promise that once the two Buffys became one. Both Xanders had loved their Buffys, but both Buffys had not loved their Xanders. With a little cry, she pushed those thoughts out of her mind. She couldn't... wouldn't ruin her last moments with the man she loved thinking such things. What would happen, would happen. She couldn't stop it. But she could put her whole heart and soul into these last few moments... She threw her arms around Xander and began kissing him again. He wound his arms tightly around her and returned the kisses.

"I wonder what they're talking about over there," the other Xander said to his Buffy.

"True love stuff," Buffy replied. "It took me a while to get my mind around the concept, but they really and truely do love each other."

"Must be in the genes."

"What?" Buffy looked at him, startled.

"You know what, Buff," Xander replied sincerely. "I've always loved you. Sure there was Cordy... and that fling with Willow... and the preying mantis and the mummy, but I would have thrown any of them aside in a second if you had ever looked at me twice. Don't get me wrong. I really loved Cordelia. If Will and I hadn't made a mess of that, I think Cordy and I could have made a go of it. But, I think she knew underneath that there was a little part of my heart that she could never have. The part reserved for you." Buffy's mouth started to open, but he waved her silent and kept talking. "I'm not saying that to make you feel bad or anything. You love Angel and I respect that. I took my shot, you turned me down, and I... well, I would rather be your friend than not be around you at all."

"I didn't know," Buffy whispered. "Well, maybe I knew a little, but I didn't let myself know."

"I know that. And it's cool. That's the way life is." He glanced over at the other couple. "At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that some version of me got the girl of his dreams."

"You may not know it for long."

"Huh?"

"This place..." Buffy gestured to the beauty shop and its attendants. "It's a place beyond Time. Something has gone wrong with Time. Something that will cause a lot of problems. They brought us here to fix that, but when they do, they don't know what will be left."

Xander swallowed. "You believe them? They aren't some kind of demon faking us out?"

Buffy shook her head. "As much as I would like to believe that, I know it's not true. This is real."

He nodded. "I trust you, Buffy Summers."

"Xander Harris," Buffy said, taking his hand in hers. "I just wanted to tell you thank you. I know I never said it enough when I had the chance. You've always been there for me, and... thank you."

"They wouldn't bring you Angel, would they?" He grinned sardonically. "The impure demon thing?"

Buffy's mouth fell open.

Xander leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You're welcome."

"How did you know? About Angel, I mean."

"I might be a fool for love, but I'm not an idiot." Xander chuckled.

"It's time."

The second Buffy squeezed her Xander's hand and then dropped it and stepped forward. "I'm ready."

The first Buffy embraced her Xander tighter. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can." He gave her one, last, soft kiss on the lips. "You can, and you will. You're a champion, Buffy."

Several tears made their way down her cheeks, but she found the strength to let go and step forward.

The three Fates stepped forward as well. Sue used her scissors and snipped a hair from the head of each girl. Then they circled the coils of hair on the tables and began to chant. As they chanted, they began to plait the coils of hair together, braiding in the snipped hairs, as well. Soon the two coils had become one long, strong coil again. The Fates continued to chant, supplicating the Powers that Be to do their will. The whiteness of the room grew brighter, like the brightest of sunlight reflecting off pure white sand. The two Buffys turned to look at each other. One reached out her hand. The other grasped it tightly. The whiteness grew and grew until they could see nothing but each other and their enjoined hands. And then, with a loud crash, the whiteness exploded and everything fell into darkness...

Next Time: Now that the Fates have done their job and fixed time, what will be left? You'll have to read the next part (the last part!) to find out. And... just for the record, we've had this story planned since season 4 - *way* before "The Replacement" aired. Then again, we wrote the part of ISOH where Oz busts throught the wall in his van to save the day before "In the Dark" aired, but didn't get it posted until afterwards. It's funny how that happens. However, we had to stay true to our vision. No matter what. :-)


End file.
